When do you think is appropriate vs. innapropriate to initiate sexual contact?

BWAHAHAHAHA

hyuck

 

Why you've never had sex outside of a serious relationship?

 

Except for the sexy Czech dude, I've never had someone just blatantly throw the idea of sex out at me on a date. I don't put off that kind of vibe though. I either am really interested in someone or I stick them firmly in the friend zone and make it obvious they're in the friend zone.

If she hasn't friend zoned you yet and you're picking up any kind of vibe that she would be up for casual sex, you might as well go for it. You don't have much to lose. At worst, you'll slightly offend and annoy her, and at best you'll be getting laid.

I don't think its any harder being a guy. There are plenty of women out there that just want to fuck without the messy relationship crap that goes along with it. You might as well try your luck and see if this girl is up for it.

Anytime you have sex you run the risk of creating a potentially messy, ambiguous relationship. Casual sex can really only exist as a one night stand. Once you've had sex with someone more than once you are, in a sense, in some sort of relationship with them.

 

Plenty of times. If you end up falling in love with a girl that has had multiple lovers in her past and you've had 1 or 2 that's gonna eat at you. Plus chances are you're not gonna meet to many women these days that believe in Chastity.

 

Marry her?

 

I didn't necessarily say it was harder for a guy than a gal I was saying it is harder for a guy to know what to do when his needs are relatively more complex than i just want to fuck you -but your not a puritan either or feel like you should be ashamed of sex.

I think you are right. But is that how most people see having sex. As starting a relationship of some kind-as if almost intrinsically by definition having sex is about starting a relationship? The sentence "Mark is trying to get into Jill's pants" often ='s "Mark is trying to initiate a sexual relationship with Jill" except in the case where Mark wants an ONS? I actually have never understood ONS just from the perspective of just how the hell does having sex just once cure the insanity of having sexual urges?

What are women typically complaining about when they talk about men and sex? Is it mainly the ONS guys that they feel the need to complain about? Because if in any other context than an ONS having sex means having a relationship then I guess it's not that bad. "Hey Mark are you just trying to have a ONS with me?" "No Jill" "Oh thank God Mark that means you want a relationship your not one of the guys I get all upset about"???

(Okay so maybe it's not THAT simple but I am trying to get a grip on this concept) Today I said "Hi" to a girl on the street and her flirtatious response which was actually pretty aggressive seemed to say "yeah you want to have sex with this don't you-you know it?) And that's not an uncommon way women flirt with the stranger who just meets them on the street and that makes me wander if it's just implied somehow with a lot of young women at least that sex=relationship. It's very confusing to me.

 

women do this not neccessarily because they want to have sex. There are a couple of guys I work with that I notice look at me everytime I walk by. I get a cheap little thrill out of working my ass a little when I walk by because I know they find me attractive and probably want to have sex with me. I don't want to have sex with them. I certainly don't want a relationship or even a coffee date with them. But I get a thrill from knowing they want me. Thats just a twisted little part of female nature. Random women that flirt with you probably aren't thinking sex=relationship. They're probably thinking sex=you think they're hot. And they're probably getting off on being considered attractive. Its nothing more than simple narcissism.

Its really a myth that women associate sex with a relationship. I know plenty of men who want relationships and plenty of women who just want sex. It really goes both ways. Just throw it out there and see if she's picking up what you're putting down.

 

That's a pretty direct and impersonal approach. You can find a way to bring up the subject of intimacy and, within that dialogue, hint that you're a fan of noncommittal sex. That would probably get you the answer you're looking for. I'm assuming that this is a specific woman you have in mind, and not just any woman, right?

Places like CraigsList have a section for "Casual Encounters" that might have and angle on a no-strings deal. Some of those women are just hookers, though.

 

Well what makes it "twisted"? I kind of wish you would address all the other stuff?

Plus, it's just the assumption that making a gesture to show interest "saying hi" is all about sex that throws me off a bit. I get the message from society and women don't be all about sex. And then I say "hi" and then she's like "yeah I know what this is about! And I like it!"

 

Just a precautionary note: If you ask the question in that way, you might want to be sure she doesn't have a hot cup of coffee IN her hand at the moment you make the offer.

 

I don't intend on being that literal about it , and certainly the relatively vulgar term "fuck" when I don't even know her style. Not that I don't find it disconcerting that honesty about sexual matters should be something that someone takes offense toward.

 

I think that's good and helpful advice, everything you just said. I don't know how fun the whole Craigslist approach would work for me. It's just... I don't know how to explain it- I have to think about that...

But I wander how you "hint" at an interest in non-committal sex? Do you think that many women take for granted that men have that interest? That's what I don't get...... which is part of the reason that I brought up the encounter with saying "hi" to a woman on the street and her responding like (at least how i interpreted it "yeah you want to do me-don't yeah!?"

 

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psNAGm5Wpx0

 

Jeremy Kyle.....hm.... America is everywhere..

 

This video is a dentist's wet dream!

 

Jeremy Kyle is British. But yes, this is the lowest kind of Jerry Springer type bullcrap that's ever been broadcast. I'm ashamed and embarrassed that these people share my home country. Although I totally might get a tattoo on my face and get pregnant from someone I don't know.

 

Well, I knew he was British. I was just invoking the old Emersonian tradition of metaphorical thinking. (I think he said stuff about 'melting pots')

I wander how "typical" women think that men just want to get into their pants? Is it just a cliche?

 

Good luck to you :sunny:

 

Thanks. I just hope one of my exes doesn't set fire to me before I get the chance.

 

I really do find it baffling that their are so few women who are responding to this question. Is sex really so bad and unacceptable that we don't talk about it in the same way we talk about any other human interaction? The fact of the matter is that many forms of sexuality are quite common outside of LTRs.