When did you know and how did you come out?

actually I see where you are coming from as well, me mentioning to my shocked parents that I found the weather man on TV atractive was probably differnt to the point I realised I was gay, however I think they are so closely related, that it only needs one thread and people can reflect on both topics together, you may like to edit your first post so it includes both questions maybe?

are you doing a study or are you just curious?
S

 

I realized that I was gay when I was 15, after a few years of having wierd dreams and urges, during a communal shower after a soccer game. I showered in about 8 seconds and wrapped a towel around myself once I realized I was getting turned on.

I came out when I was 17 to disastrous results.

 

Honestly, I'm not rushing into anything. I've struggled with being gay for quite awhile and thankfully was not pressured into making a decision. I've come out to myself, collegues, my classmates, the world....just not my family. I know that I will eventually, but I'm not going to force myself into doing something that is going to cause myself a great deal of stress and harm. Sure there are plenty of people out there that say that you are lying to yourself, or not representing a good gay image, or that it's unhealthy pretend to be something that your not. Honestly, currently I'm not ready to accept the possiblity that my family will not support me or want to have me in their lives once they know the truth.

I was told once, that the coming out process requires that you ask yourself whether or not you could accept or live without the person you told. It's an interesting idea actually seeing as though the majority of people are not accepted by someone they tell and they lose them. Currently I am not ready to lose my family...any of them. Until I come to terms with fact that they may not accept me for who I really am...I'm not going to tell them.

 

Ohhh lord, well, I didn't exactly have to come out. I wanted to be the Wicked Witch from Oz when I was little, as well as Catwoman and Xena. When I was really little, I wanted to be the Yellow Ranger from Power Rangers. I've just always connected with my feminine side, moreso than my masculine side for sure. Plus, I just throw a little bit of that sass in the conversation when no one else will. But as far as when I first began to associate my feminine side with being gay, I would have to say when I was really young, probably around 10 or so. But as soon as I knew, I adopted the idea quite fondly, and never looked back.

 

thats very much like me and with me also I think the people around me knew before than I did
S

 

^^yea, same

 

Hi.

I just wanna to say hello(boys ).
PZ

my pic

http://www.imgshare.de/upload/image_1170012140.jpg

 

hi newbie on here...
confused, but also feeling unloved..
especially today..
anyone want to send me a sweet sms messg of love, would make my
night.

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xxx

 

Probably last year (when I was 15). I was starting to feel really confused about myself because while I was doing certain things *cough* I thought about men. I still was a bit unsure of myself until I spoke to someone who was gay (and still is, of course). I guess the fact that I was so confused was because I was thinking about teachers that I had and stuff and thought that liking "older" (ie. 30+) guys was just something strange and I'd grow out of it. Anyway I'm more sure of myself now, what kinda guy I like (not only old dudes) and all that. I came out to most of my friends over MSN (because they lived about 2000km away), but have been moving around so much lately that havent really had the time to meet anyone I can trust all that well yet. Sorry I'm going on a bit now.

 

This past week I eliminated all of the people who absolutely needed to know on my list, so at this point I have resolved that anyone else who asks will receive a straight (no pun intended) answer, although I don't plan on just shouting it out to anyone. If they're curious, then they can know.

 

I had my first crush at 12. I then went through about five years of "I'm not gay! I just like girls". It wasn't really until 17 that I said down and said to myself "Stop fucking around! You're a lesbian!"

 

well, my dad found out at a transgender meeting , we were talking about stuff, and eventually i said i was bi, while my dad was sitting right next to me(i told my mom when we were going to the cinema together)
but yeah, no big deal, i think they've had more trouble wit me being transgendered, well dad atleast (mom has no trouble with anything ^_^)

 

when my freind got out of the car to go get something out of a store...i fell asleep and awoke to him on top of me then he started making out with me...it suprised me after i liked it..........

 

In 7th grade. My girlfriend kept wanting to take the relationship further, (which, when we were twelve, meant a kiss on the lips) but I kept putting it off. One day she got pretty upset about it and I told her. Naturally she told her best friend and so on. I pretty much told everyone after that. My aunt told me I was gay! Haha, that took all the apprehension out of telling her. My dad...That's another story...

 

I'm bisexual (or pansexual)... but I didn't believe it until a few months ago. Growing up (brought up by strict baptist parents) I thought being gay or bi was "a sin", but I don't remember feeling discriminating towards people that were. I've always been very picky about the people I become involved with, and I am even more so, now.

When I was young (between 8-14) I found myself attracted to both genders, but more so towards women. I pushed the feelings away and told myself it was just a phase. And for a while, I believed that was all it was, though I still continued to be attracted to women.

When I was around 14-15, I developed a crush on an older woman in our church... she was married with kids, etc. but I just really liked her for some reason. I remember saying to my sisters: "she's such a sweet, nice lady!" It did hit me after a few weeks of liking her that it was a bit odd, and I admitted to myself that I DID have a crush on her. I was more amused than worried (besides being a little grossed out), and again I told myself that I was straight. I don't remember being SEXUALLY attracted to her at all.

Bear in mind reading all of this, that while I'm no longer a christian, I was brought up in a christian home and it held me back a lot until recent years.
I had my first kiss when I was 16 going on 17 with a younger boy (14 going on 15 at the time). I did like him (in fact, he convinced me that we were both in love), but I was a bit unnerved by that fact that he was two years younger than me. We kissed a few times after that and I became obsessed (I didn't know what real love is). We moved away some months later and never heard from him again. (I'm over him now.)

Then a couple of years after that I had my first date with a guy I worked with (I was 19, he 22). He was nice. Seemed caring and kind. We dated for a few weeks and then I believe he lost interest in me... at the time, I was so innocent that I believed we were in love, in fact, he said it to me first. So after months of waiting around for him to call me or something (I called him a lot, but he never called me and we rarely saw each other), I got fed up, and we broke up. It had ended well before that anyway.

Then, about a month later, I met the guy who changed my life. I was working as a cashier in a grocery store and he and his mom came through my line. I immediately noticed him, found him attractive, and hoped to goodness he'd ask for my number. He and his mom were talking and laughing like friends, and this really impressed me. I just knew there was something special about these people. So we dated for over 4 months, which was my longest (and practically my only) relationship. I told myself that things would be different with him, that I would move more slowly and not get in over my head (you know, fall in love). We lost our virginity to each other and I did indeed fall in love, or at least, imagined myself to be.
But he was in love with his ex-girlfriend, so we broke up, and they're back together now. Which was fine with me, because we weren't right for each other anyway. We're close friends now.

I guess I knew that I was bi (or finally believed it) a few months ago when I realized I have feelings for my ex-boyfriend's mom. It was always in the back of my mind that I was either lesbian or bi. Now it's starting to make sense. I really do think I have a preference for women, even though I do like men.

Like I said, I've always been real choosy about who I'm with. I think it's because I'm pansexual. I didn't even know what pan was, though, until I looked in this part of the forums earlier today. Pansexuals feel that gender doesn't matter, just the person inside. And that is how I've always felt.

So right now I'm just taking things slow. It's got to be the right person before I jump into bed with them. Or fall in love.

I really care for my ex bf's mom. But just because I feel a certain way about her, doesn't mean she feels the same way back. As far as I know, she doesn't like women. I totally accept this and I feel thrilled just to be her friend. She's a really special person, and I am probably not deserving of someone as truly great as her.

I haven't felt like I need to "come out". It's not a secret, either, though. My sister knows I like women as well as men, and if anyone asks, they'll know too. I just don't feel a need to "confess" anything. You'll know next time you see me out with a woman... or a man. Straight folks don't have to "confess" to being straight.

 

I knew when I fell in love with a teacher and we were in a relationship. She was wonderful. I haven't seen her since. And since then I've been pansexual.

 

Ok for me knowing that i am bi was a companation of factors and events, i found girls attractive but got it off with my mate when i was younger (14-15 ish) and then found out i had a crush on a guy which i ended up telling him it (that was complacted) and then found other guys at school, town etc attrictive.
had sex with other guys on and off and it just felt right.

 

I was 14 and it was indisputable because I fell in love with another male. I started becoming aware of my feelings for boys as young as 10. At 12, I'd had all this "teen curiosity" stuff crammed down my throat to the point that masturbation, I thought, was just me exploring and getting off on my feelings... even though it almost never involved a female. I came out to my parents in therapy and we stopped talking about it not long after. So that's that.

 

I knew I was "different" when I was really young. I think my first gay crush was when I was in 8th grade. I came out when I was 19, after I met my first partner. I was happy and wanted the world to know. It was love that gave me the courage to come out and to be honest with myself.

 

I started having the occasional gay fantasy I think in my early 20s, but didn't consider myself bi. I would be disgusted after cumming. In my mid thirties, after 5 years of marriage, my wife told me she fantasized about women. 6 months later I told her my fantasies. After that I stopped being disgusted and started to enjoy my gay fantasies. Eventually got to the point where I fantasized about men more than women. About two years ago, at 47, I came to the realization that I am gay. My wife had encouraged me to experiment, which I did. I came out to my wife but why would I need to come out to anybody else? I find women attractive but no longer interested in having sex with them. I do anally pleasure my wife once a week. She LOVES anal sex so it works out nice for her too.