Whats In A Handshake

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by roamy, May 26, 2013.

  1. roamy

    roamy Senior Member

    when some people shake your hand,its very firm and warm an strong, while other handshakes can be very limp and loose.has anyone ever thought about whats in a handshake?.i always find those who give firm warm strong handshakes to be very real and genuine people,while limp an loose handshakes always makes me wonder are they less sincere handshakes or are they simply just a lack of trust in humans for whatever reason?
     
  2. Manservant Hecubus

    Manservant Hecubus Master of Funk and Evil

    I like a medium handshake. Too strong comes off as if the person it trying to be all alpha. Too weak reads as too uncertain.
     
  3. autophobe2e

    autophobe2e Senior Member

    the poet Marcel Proust was so scared of people figuring out that he was gay that he deliberately cultivated a limp, weak handshake, as a double bluff, so that people wouldn't think that he was trying too hard to be heterosexual.

    i never really considered my own handshake, i haven't had any complaints.
     
  4. roamy

    roamy Senior Member

    its sad that that poet felt the need ta do that with handshakes, cos he so scared for people ta know he was gay.
     
  5. autophobe2e

    autophobe2e Senior Member

    yeah, he once fought a duel with someone who accused him of having an affair with a man, the man who accused him of being gay, was gay himself, ironically.

    in paris at the time, it seems like among the art comunity, homosexuality was unspokenly accepted, but always publicly denied. to be outed in print, in particular, was social and professional suicide, although not illegal.

    he certainly struuggled with it though, there's a fair bit of evidence that in-between affairs he would go to brothels and try and "cure" himself.

    his novels are pretty cool.


    but yeah, i think there's a lot of weird hang-ups about things like handshakes being a way of discerning peoples personalities that we've inherited from the Victorians, who were always inventing new ways of reading people. no doubt there's a young gentleman's primer been written somewhere which details the exact pressure and length that a proper handshake should go on for.
     
  6. roamy

    roamy Senior Member

    never heard of that poet til now,but i'll check his writings out.i don't see it as a hangup getting a feeling from a handshake ,its just as a spontaneous observation. victorians mus'nt have had very good overall discerning gifts if they felt the need to invent new ways of reading people.thats the first time i ever that and it seems very peculier and strange ta me.has there been that written,the exact length that a proper handshake should go on for ?ha! ha! thats hilarious!
     
  7. Mike Suicide

    Mike Suicide Sweet and Tender Hooligan

    I think a handshake should be firm but not so tight that the person is trying to sqeeze your hand. The strength of the handshake tells a lot a bout a person.

    However, often times a find myself in the awkward position of not knowing what kind of handshake the other person is gonna do. Am gonna get the "slap hands bump fists?" or the "slap hands, bumps fists, then bump fists again from top to bottom?", or maybe just the plain "bump fists from top to bottom". Sometimes it ends up being awkward because we miss fists or something, but it's all good.
     
  8. autophobe2e

    autophobe2e Senior Member

    yeah, they were all about categorising and scientifically understanding the world, positivism, they'd call it. but a lot of what they claimed as science was just bullshit, for example, they thought all sorts of things about the shape of your skull and how you could use it to judge your personality and stuff like that.

    the whole: limp handshake= untrustworthy/a pushover, firm handshake= trustworthy/honest and so on seems very victorian,t has just the right mixture of social protocol and almost science. probably something we've inherited from them.
     
  9. roamy

    roamy Senior Member

    so they did'nt consider the feeling of soul in a handshake then did they?
     
  10. autophobe2e

    autophobe2e Senior Member

    soul?
     
  11. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

    I'm left handed so I always have to consciously remember to hold out my right hand for shaking.
     
  12. guerillabedlam

    guerillabedlam _|=|-|=|_

    Yah, I think the meaning and even the tradition to an extent of the handshake are kind of dated. Fist bumps are fairly common now among my age (20-30 somethings) in the US, a bit more casual and there is not so much read into it, (as of yet) besides a general sense of acknowledgement.
     
  13. roamy

    roamy Senior Member

    i ment individual handshakes,not group leader ones.
     
  14. Ahmad Rashad

    Ahmad Rashad SenĂ³r Member

    I don't know what this says about me, but this is def my favorite handshake.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCvmZ-lfkqM&feature=youtube_gdata_player"]Fresh Prince + Jazz Handshake - YouTube
     
  15. Pressed_Rat

    Pressed_Rat Do you even lift, bruh?

    I don't trust a man with a limp handshake. It doesn't sit right with me.

    And after a while, you can work on points for style
    Like the club tie, and the firm handshake
    A certain look in the eye and an easy smile
    You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to
    So that when they turn their backs on you
    You'll get the chance to put the knife in
     
  16. roamy

    roamy Senior Member

    i don't either!
     
  17. Mike Suicide

    Mike Suicide Sweet and Tender Hooligan

    I had party a while back and one of my friends brought a whole bunch of his "foot soldiers" with him. These kids were young latino gangsters in age from 18-21, it's the young ones that got the short fuses and are quick to pull the trigger.

    Anyways, I met couple of them, and we shook hands. The first thing one of the leaders said was that he like the fact that I gave him a "right handed" hand shake, it shows respect. I earned their respect and they ended up earning my respect.

    So something as simple as a handshake can either make or break a social situation.
     
  18. Mike Suicide

    Mike Suicide Sweet and Tender Hooligan

    Fist bumps say a lot too, I dont trust weak fist bumps anymore than weak handshakes.
     
  19. guerillabedlam

    guerillabedlam _|=|-|=|_

    Well I'm not trying to break anyone's knuckles and I hope they're not trying to break mine. Guess I'm just less judgemental.
     
  20. roamy

    roamy Senior Member

    ya i agree,the strength of a handshake dose tell you a lot about a person.bump fists an slap hands have their own telling to,but the handshake is more encompasssing,which i think leads to more of a sense of feel from the person.
     

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