What's Happening?

I know what you mean.

People still want marriage to be a change in their lives even though so many people live together before marriage.

I guess in the old days marriage was a change in your way of life.

 

Yeah, well I don't think k much will change in terms of the relationship like we've been together so long now what we have is already firmly structured and galvanised, so I don't know why I feel empty. Mind you I've been on a emotional high for a couple of weeks now so I'm always due for a fall which started 15hrs ago in our bedroom, which I'm fully aware of and trying to slap myself out of it but it's not that simple.

So I don't know what I want to change or if things should change, maybe it's just me. I feel like change.

There's that thread here at the moment from someone wanting to throw it all away, though the posts I read have no connection to me and more about some hussy tramp from what I've read lol, the idea of throwing it all away, just seems so free.

We have a saying for this here: zerschlag deine ketten. Smash your chains. Free yourself from chains. I kind of feel like, maybe that's the way, and maybe I need new chains to link in my life.

I just need find that peace in my life. I've tried it in women I've tried it in drugs and substance, sport and competition. But there is no peace in my life. Until I find that saviour I feel I will always be searching and I'm not convinced I may ever find it, but I'm also not going to sit around with the woes about it either. So I'm going to keep searching.

 

Maybe what you need is whips and chains...and blindfolds, etc.

 

OoOooh a new sex toy retail adventure? Lol. What's I'm really looking for in the short term is a bloody decent sleep for once. I'm just sick of it I'm going to have to back on the seds and tranqs. That's all they give me! And they work, but I think all my tummy problems are pill related and stress and anxiety I was talking to a friend a few months back he said stress causes so much problems with digestion but I also know so does no rest, body likes to digest while resting and I don't rest, so it's like my digestive system is about as useful as the mechanics in my body. It don't work and it don't rest and it just I dunno.

I dunno anymore.

 

Maybe you should go back on some medication to help you rest. You can probably treat your stomach with something while you're on the seds and tranqs.

You don't want to be out of sorts, nor to collapse from exhaustion, during your wedding celebrations!

 

Sitting Here In Much Pain...... ...Been Working Hard This Past Week......Got A Lot Done.....

But This Morning I Noticed A Big Picture Window I Cleaned Just A Few Days Ago Just Didn't

Cut It.......So Whilst Bending Over To Clean The Lowest Panes "SCIATICA" Struck......

Took An Anti Inflamatary Pill And Now I'm Waiting For It To Kick In.......Meanwhile I'm

In The Same Club As Irm...Ari... And Spaceman......The "Pain Club"......



Cheers Glen.

 

Yeah, true. I don't even know how I'm going to feel! What if I do get a panic attack. I doubt I will, I haven't even thought about it yet. I was at a wedding where one of the maids collapsed lol. And she was just a brides maid. But no, ours is so small I don't think I could get stressed over not many people being there.

 

Ugh sciatic pains. You only took one pill? Shit I take 4 pain killers when I use a inflammatory.

 

I'm going to attempt to anti-psychosomatic illness/pain myself.

I've been "sore" at someone for months.

I've "sorely" missed them.

I felt that I was "sorely" mistreated by them.

etc.

 

I can see a pattern of words, but I don't seem to interpret the algorithm.

 

Pretty much since I've been feeling emotionally "sore" about the situation my body has been sore with pain.

I was hoping that it was kind of like a psychosomatic illness and that I could make myself better by correcting my thinking.

 

Oh gotcha. positive vibes. Uhummmmmmmmm

 

how da hell does Disturbed make my track list on utube after Johnny Cash? lol
That shit just fucken hurt my ears.

 

I never had a chance to walk away from social media, or well I guess Facebook, I did, but it wasn't the same back then as now and I didn't really have many of my friends there so not missing much. (I've a new account now for different friends) But while I walked away from a lot of things when I married, I never left a forum. I never left something I had for more than a year. Granted a lot could happen in a single year, I think it'd be hard to walk away. I dunno.

You know Irmi, I could say a lot right now but I'm nervous to say too much. I was vulnerable once and I got screwed and while I'm ok ish about it, I still get triggered and well I play it safe. Except when I don't. And then that makes me nervous. Nervous about me screwing things up again. Ooo boy! That's a bit of a downer. What gives, eh?!

Let's have fun again! I'm not really an original idea person so I don't know what to propose. Lol my contributions consist of asking people their favorite color for instance. Hmm. Well, I'm not even gonna try. See? Play it safe!

 

Yes, fun. ah yeah, I gotta lot of shit to say and get off my chest too. But I'm going to deal with that in pure Juggalette fashion a bit later, soda pop showers and a good fire and rapping a long to my favorite tracks while I'm all sticky. cause thats fun.

 

You know I think I really only know Disturbed's OHH WAHH UH UHUH down with the sickness.
He actually has a decent voice. I always loved this song, but this might be one of those remakes that is better than the original.

 

I'm not really sure what all that means, tbh, but sounds like ?fun? Hehe
Nah girl, I know. I'm trying to find people I can vent to offline. Still hard. Nobody listens 100percent, but everyone feels like this, so nobody's alone in feeling this need to "rap" or "growl"

I like Disturbed. Damn. That song there triggers me though. Lol I've said too much. No, a lot of songs trigger me so this one pales in comparison. Curious what brought this up, if you don't mind.

 

Old saying, ain't no point complaining, no ones gonna listen to ya anyway
A older guy used to say that to me every night I did night shift earlyin the morning, i always said he could talk to me but he just smiled and went play pokies. I made him free coffees. He was a really wonderful guy actually, an aboriginal fella. Just didn't know if he had something wrong or that was his saying lol.

Yes great song totally followed up Cash's - Hurt

 

Oh yea. I believe you said that already about the song. I slow.

Yea, that's similar wisdom I've been given, but I still get my fair share of venting some days. Ha! But then I have to shut it for a few days or few weeks even. Eh hem.

 

Well, it's about that time. Will catch up again tomorrow or so. Peace!! Goodnight/day.