Ok I thought I'd put this "out there"to get some opinions.Please be honest,what would you do? So 18ths ago,my Mum died.My father passed away 20 yrs ago.I have 3 children.Two live in the UK,as I do,my son lives in Australia (where we're from!).After Mum died,and her will was settled,us 5 kids all recieved equal amounts.As Mum died in Australia,my share was converted to british pounds,so I ended up with £30,000.I havent spent any of this as yet. So this week my daughter and her partner visited me.They live just over 2 hrs drive from us,and due to work commitments on both sides,we dont see them that regularly.It was lovely to spend time with them.They stayed overnight at our place,so we went out for dinner.As the conversation flowed,they told us (1)They wanted to marry in the future,and (2)also wanted to buy their own house.They both have really good jobs,but are currently renting a house.As we all know,getting on the property ladder is very expensive these days,and it can be quite difficult saving money for kids these days.I was curious about them wanting to buy their own place,so asked a few questions.They both said they needed atleast £10,000-£15,000 for a deposit to buy a house. My husbands Mum is still living (She's 90 yrs of age)and doesnt own any property or have much savings,so when she passes away,none of her kids will really receive any inheritance. So.......I started thinking last night about possibly giving my daughter and her partner £10,000 for a deposit for a house.This sounds quite easy,as I said,I have £30,000.But what about my other two kids?My son already has his own place,but my other daughter doesnt.So in theory,I should give them all £10,000!However....if I do this,then thats all my inheritance gone.I had initially decided to keep this money in a high interest bank account so we had some savings for our retirement,so if I give this money away,I would have to rely on personal savings from our jobs alone. The daughter who just visited us also wants to get married.Weddings these days are expensive,so.....we have that also to consider. What would you do?Blow the money on the kids?Or keep it for yourself?
You dont need To "Blow the money on the kids " ( your words ) but If it were me I would Help them within reason and not leaving myself Broke ! I would (lend) the Daughter The 10 '000 To help pay a Deposit on a house !! That way A if you never get it back its not the end of the world ,and B would also not leave the others feeling that She had Been in any way treated Different ! Do you Feel that the other Kids are in any need of anything ? I dont Personally Believe in that "you cant give one without the Other " Attitude that some people seem to Have ?? But on the other hand I like to help My Kids Depending on their needs and my Ability to help Everything I have said here May be of no help at all with your Dilemma But i read your post and it started me thinking about the way I try to deal with stuff in relation to my kids Whose Lifestyles and financial situations are Wildly different
I'm not sure what the real estate market is like in the UK right now, but there is a good chance that prices are inflated. In the event of an economic shock, your daughter could find herself without a job holding an underwater mortgage. Helping her buy a house could be a disaster. Your daughter doesn't have an urgent economic need. If she and her partner both have good jobs, but haven't been able to save £10,000 for a deposit, then they have no sense in financial matters and any loan you might give to them would be squandered. £30,000 is frankly a meager sum compared to what you may need in retirement, or what your other children may need. I recommend that you put the money into a relatively secure investment like bonds, a money market account, or certificate of deposit after thoroughly researching risk, yield, terms, and any fees involved. I suspect that a greater financial need will one day come along, and it would be wise to hold on to the money for now.
I would save it for yourself. I put myself in your children's shoes while thinking of my response and I realized that while I could definitely benefit from help buying a house, I would sleep better at night knowing my mom will be financially secure going into retirement.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago, but it was a car for my son who didn't live at home, and my inheritance wasn't so big, but I wasn't using it. So what we did, was loan him half, for twelve months, its a teaching thing, we knew that by the time he could pay it back, we, and them could better assess the situation. If we didn't need it, it would go for longer. I don't believe in giving your kids money, what you leave them is different, but loaning them, is a lesson. All three children had at different stages, the same loan, and all were grateful at the time...its the way life goes, you work hard for what you want, if help steps up to the plate, good..but no one gets it for nothing.
May I intrude with the question: Is it the right time to purchase property? US. Yankees hear about how inflated London properties are with purchases by Europeans, Arabs and Chinese. Is it really time to purchase at the top of a bubble? Or perhaps the real estate in question is in a more stable market locality ? You will find very low interest rates for mortgage finance at his time. Best wishes..............Love n Light
i actually did not know that. you can buy a house in my town for $10,000-$15,000. that's buy, not down payment.
Thanks so far for all your responses.Its definately something to ponder over.During our conversations with both of them,things kept popping up which lead me to believe,they're not that serious about saving.I know when my husband and I first brought our home years ago,we went without alot of stuff.No dinners out,no holidays abroad,no speical treats for ourselves.But....after talking to my daughter and her partner,they mentioned their holiday late last year,expensive dinners out,and hre partner is about to head to Amsterdam for a stags "do"(his best mate is getting married)So thats also something to think about. I do believe if I only give this daughter the money and not the other two,it will cause a rift between them.My son already has his house but neither my two daughters do.
You are getting to a decision, and whatever it is, its the right one. But what you say is true, people don't cook anymore, money spent on eating out and takeaways amazes me! But good luck...and enjoy some of that money!
What?! Do you live in a very economically depressed area? The cost of living is supposedly low here, I can attest it is not at all for renters like myself but I guess buying a house is somewhat affordable. You can definitely get a mortgage with a monthly payment that is a good bit lower than the average monthly rental price..but $15,000 is unheard of. $70,000 may buy you a fixer upper in a horrible neighborhood.
That's enough red flags to lead a communist revolution. People do when they feel pain. Renting isn't causing them enough pain to stimulate them into saving at an appropriate rate for people looking to buy. I'd hold the funds in a high yield and later, maybe 10 years, see where they are. Maybe agree to LOAN half with some interest, if they save half (no gifts from his family, etc) by a certain point. The interest goes into your retirement fund.
First of all weddings can be done on a shoe string. Don't blow alot of your money on that, and from what i gather, there are 4 of you? Your 3 children and you? Split the inheritance 4 ways......fairly......7.5 each. That is what i would do.
