What would you do if...

no answer the door

wwydi they cancelled halloween cause the church groups said it was a satanic holiday?

 

Tell the groups I'm cancelling Easter as nailing people to lumps of wood really isn't nice.


wwydi Santa retired?

 

Apply for his job

Wwydi someone asked you for a dollar

 

Tell 'em ta see me banker...(wife)

wwydi someone said my cat's hungry?

 

I'd say "How fortunate I have this spare jar of Mouse Pate'. "


wwydi absolutely no-one went to work tomorrow?

 

Stay home....

wwydi you had no money and expectation of any?

 

Weeeell,looks like me and my trusty ole acoustic are goin' buskin' again.......


wwydi you were offered the chance to see you through the person you detest most's eyes?

 

I'll pass. Now if it was the person who derasts me thq most.....

wwdi nominated for prez?

 

I'd grab it,make a 4 day working week law,stop 'overseas aid' bring all the military home,make all politicians take a 35% pay cut...and declare myself king.


wwydi I made you chief of staff?

 

Ah, stajj I'm good with! I would find the Royal Staff and work out with it each day and see to it all abinet level and commiskioned officers learned the proper use of a staff and practiced dayly.....

wwydi as King you were required to marry and produce an heir within one year or abdicate?

 

As king I get 1st choice-so I'll have the one with big tits and the mattress tied to her back!
As C-O-S you are at liberty help yourself to any wenches I don't require.....now,what's this 'marriage' thing you mentioned? Something common folk get up to,I'll wager?


wwydi your dreams came true.....but your worst enemy got double what you do?

 

I have no living enemies...........besides, the more you have the less chance you have to enjoy it

wwydi your son and heir eloped with a common wench

 

Wish him the best of luck.
I tried marriage,won't be trying it again.
I was a marine at the time-she said she was sick of expecting me back in a box...I didn't see that as a reason for my 'friend' & his brothers to be fucking her.
It's history now-best left there to rot..


wwydi bikes were suddenly banned?

 

Start riding a unicycle

wwydi as king all your wenches gave birth to only girl babies and you need a male progeny for your heir?

 

Get some new wenches knocked up.

Wwydi ghosts started talking to you

 

Ask for their A/S/L and if they are horny..

wwydi a genie said she'd grant you one wish?

 

ask her ta dissapear

wwyd if a monster chased ya down the street ?

 

not being a runner I'd choose to disapear...

wwydi it was a three dog night and you were short two dogs?

 

howl until the missing dogs came running over

wwydi your dog could talk to you?

 

You mean to say yours can't! I suspect the fault lies in your ability to understand the lingo.

wwydi your dogs brought home a stranger?