What Would Bigfoot Do?

I have a little wrist bracelet with the letters WWBD on it. That's right, whenever I'm in a pickle or a bind, or even a slightly tricky situation, I look at it and ask myself, "What Would Bigfoot Do?"

Okay, so let's play this thing. Someone lists a scenario and then asks what Bigfoot would do. The next person answers the question, posts a scenario of their own, and then also asks what Bigfoot would do. And on it goes like that. I'll start.

Bigfoot is standing in line at the bank, waiting to transact some business, when robbers rush in with balaclavas on and sawn off shotguns. What does he do?

 

I was standing in line at the bank the day and ive got my tongue up this girls ass and she's looking at me like ''do I know you?''
..................Andrew dice clay


there is no bigfoot

 

I thought he lived off grid (so he wouldn't be in that line at the bank in the first place)

 

Bigfoot lets out a roar, scaring the crap out of the robbers, literally. They leaf a trail of turds on the floor as they make their getaway without their loot. Bigfoot saves the day and so the moral of the story is .. sometimes the scariest looking one is the safest (or something like that).

Same scenario: that turd trail really stinks! Bigfoot's gonna be around for a while, opening up 200 new savings accounts to manage his millions. The stink is making him dizzy. WWBD?

 

He hires someone to clean up the turd trail, and then takes them next door for ice cream. He's just a swell guy!

Bigfoot comes home to find his father having sex with his uncle while his mother is out. WWBD?

 

Drink a beer.

 

good advice... done.

obviously he joins in. but then during the threesome, his dad tries ass to mouth on him. WWBD?

 

He gags and then blows chunks all over the place. And regrets joining in. And goes and becomes a Tibetan monk.

The monks are all hardcore vegetarians, but Bigfoot loves meat. He craves it! WWBD?

 

Bring his signature beef jerky made by his buddy Jack Links and hides it in the library. Eventually he introduces it to them by hiding it in their food. Since it's so processed it's barely meat anyway, they turn out not to have a problem with it, and everyone's happy.

Bigfoot meets a woman who can't sync up her husband's sex drive with her own, and is sympathetic to their plight and decides he should help. What does he do?

 

He makes them watch Ingenue (in full screen, of course)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpVfF4U75B8​

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and I don't know what next, I just entered oblivion.

WWBD?

 

what would bigfoot REALLY do? run and hide. they're good at that. they have to be to survive. wish it were that easy for me to do the same.