What Was The Tenor Like In Your Household Where Sexual Topics Were Concerned?

What was the mood or feel in your household where sexual topics were concerned growing up?


Were sexual topics full of blatant lies or were you trusted with the truth?


How did this affect your sexual development with the opposite sex growing up and how does it impact you today as an adult in both your sexual life and in relationships in general?


Do you think your sexual orientation was influenced by environmental factors surrounding emotional tension or variables brought up artificially by parents/guardian's style of raising you?


Did you believe in cooties as a child, and if you did was that belief ingrained into your mind from how you were raised or do you think humans naturally have an adversion to the opposite sex growing up?

(rephrase: Battle of the sexes, cultural or naturally occuring?)

For me I was raised in a household that put no shame or pressure on masturbation or sex, and I think it made it much easier for me to glide into the world of romance and sex with various partners, and have a confidence about it and myself even as a young teen, that my peers seem to lack or stumble through.

I was only taught that personal body space and consent were the only real important factors to pay attention to, and I did learn and respect this lesson at all times.

But I am unsure if this came from my general personality of being what we call an "old soul" or if it was due to how I was raised.

One aspect that I always felt, and still feel, sets me apart from my peers is that I never, even when I was young child of 4 or 5, never understood the battle of the sexes or agreed with the cooties concept. My understanding of who I would hang around was based on if I was treated kindly, and I felt no shame about it, despite being teased sometimes. I also remember having crushes around that age, and very passionate makeout fantasies (locked lips, necking, trails of kisses, the inhaling of their scalp's scent) with said crushes that, when looking back, I still think is strange for one to have that young. The said fantasies were akin, to what actually happens in foreplay just to give a general sense of how intense my mind was purely on how it was digesting certain desires and feelings.

Perhaps I'm just a romantic person by nature, and perhaps that is genetic since personality is largely genetically influenced, but I also can't help but think the desire to touch this way is instinctive.

As a baby I was always held and looked after, and part of me wonders if that played a role in how I understood affection, and my brain linked the sensation of touch with the concept of receiving and displaying affection romantically as well.

Ultimately I want to know if others have memories, desires, and fantasies as they grew up that are similar to mine or if I was just some kinda emotionally precocious genius child oddball.

Feedback would be appreciated.

I don't know if I can receive Private Messages yet, but when I can I'll accept PM responses as well.

Thanks

 

Maybe for a 20, not for a 10er, I'm not cheap

 

My parents never really talked to me about sex, I already knew it all by the time they thought I could have the "birds and bees". I had friends with older brothers and showtime. By 7 or 8 i had asked them everything I was curious about and seen plenty of Playboys although the women were not really appealing yet. It was just a taboo, I knew I was not supposed to see and I did.

My parents were late to the party and they knew it when I was 10 and I told another boy in class he fucked his mother. My mom brought out this awkward book with cartoons of everything and asked if I understood what I had said. I told her yes that's why I said it. Once they realized this they just said I could ask any questions I might have. But the combo of not wanting to talk to them and knowing it anyway meant I never did.

 

Both permanent relationships I've been in. (Is that an oxymoron - 2 permanent relationships??)

...... anyway, in both relationships, because they were both with other women, sex was possibly discussed reasonably freely. It's a "chick" thing.

When I was at home - discussion of any sexual nature/matter was utterly taboo!! My parents were old-fashioned landholding Presbyterians: sex was something you did saturday night with the lights off and the nightie pulled up just enough!! .... I guess!

 

My parents didn't talk about it. They weren't uptight about sex either, it just wasn't something they discussed with us.

Any advice I got came from my step-father and were usually comments like, "If you're gonna fuck around, wrap that rascal"

I was on my own to figure it out.

 

I had two beds in my room during early childhood.Occasionally people would have sex in the same room as me.It wasn't pleasant,but my Mum was the kind of irresponsible hippie who didn't think this was a big deal.

 

Thanks for the replies people. I wasn't sure my threads were getting attention.

It seems overall lots of us are just left alone to our own devices with a few joking like statements acting as puzzle pieces to put the whole thing together...conservative or liberal parental upbringing alike. I think this is a part of the problem.

I wonder what it's like for orphans and foster children which in hindsight were groups I forgot to include in my original post, or at least I wasn't thinking of them when I typed the original post.

I'd also like to say that in my studies on esoteric eastern arts, I realized that in the USA 1960's and 70's hippie movements really left out critical parts of many Eastern beliefs and adopted only what they liked, despite their ventures out of what they were boxed into believing growing up.


For instance in the "is tantric sex dangerous?" Thread, the modern popularized understanding of Tantra, is the hedonism side of it, and the ability to manage Erectile Dysfunction or other sexual dysfunctions.

The West and present day understanding ignores the spiritual side of it, and the acknowledgement of the white and black sides of Tantra.

Apparently even in various other fringe faiths other than Christianity and Catholic doctrine, orgasm is seen as bad, and promiscuity is seen as bad, not necessarily for physical reasons, but for spiritual ones.

Although the main difference is less emphasis on monogamy...which seems to purely be a Christian thing, you can't even say monogamy is a Judaism or Islamic thing either...but I'm going off on a tangent.


So I also wonder if because the first world countries don't pay attention to the spiritual side of sex, if that is why sexual dysfunction in various medical problems that affect performance, causes our lack of orgasm problems between couples.


Especially for women, since for them emotions and therefore the mind are linked to orgasmic ability, and for guys orgasm control and performance and the will power of their minds.

 

It also seems I am an oddball.

I was always intensely curious about the opposite sex, and had makeout fantasies with crushes, even at age 4 or 5.

So far nobody has said they can relate to this; so I guess nobody can relate?