What to not tell the cops

Discussion in 'The Whiners' started by HonorSeed, May 26, 2006.

  1. HonorSeed

    HonorSeed Senior Member

    :H

    things not to tell cops:
    (1) You are not gonna check the trunk are you
    (2) Hey your wife was great last night and hows my kids
    (3) I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer
    (4) sorry officer i did not realize my radar detector was unplugged
    (5) aren't you the guy from the village people
    (6) hey you must have been doing about 125mph to keep up with me, good job
    (7) are you Andy of Barney
    (8) I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a cop
    (9) I pay your salary
    (10) Do you know why you pulled me over, okay, just so one of us does
    (11) gee thats terriffic! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
    (12) No i dont need a ticket, Im sure Im too busy to go
    (13) No officer Im not driving, we are both parked and your talking to me
    (14) no i cant get out of the car, i too drunk to stand
    (15) leave the siren on, it sounds pretty
     
  2. Orsino2

    Orsino2 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    Actually, the best thing to do if you're driving drunk is to keep an unopened bottle of liquor in your car. If they pull you over and start accusing you of being drunk or doing something, just open the bottle as fast as you can, take a huge gulp and tell he/she that your girlfriend or husband, spouse, etc. just left you, he/she's taking the kids and your house, and that you can't take the pressure anymore... Now flip out and say that you're now possibly considering suicide because of being pulled over.

    Ruins any possibility of getting an accurate psychological/breathalyzer test on you and gives them one hell of something to talk about. :D
     
  3. Freekske

    Freekske Member

  4. HonorSeed

    HonorSeed Senior Member

    "Did you see what god just did to us,man".........that is "Did you see what some dood pretending to be god just did to us, man" lol
     
  5. Orsino2

    Orsino2 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    lmfao... bat country.
     
  6. spooner

    spooner is done.

    Officer, I sear she said she's 18.
     
  7. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    "Do you have a daughter? because we just 3 way'd this girl that looked just like ya!"
     
  8. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

    LOL!


    "Weaving? Of course I'm weaving. wook how wate it is (hic)".
     
  9. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    wait ..no wait let me guess...you saw us drive through that window at the dealership, rigfht?
     
  10. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

    "Honest sherrif, if Ida known she was your daughter I would have taken her to a nicer motel".
     
  11. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    Well, you see, after we dumped the body, we HAD to drive that fast
     
  12. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

    "I'm glad you stopped me officer, your wife wanted me to give you back your handcuffs".
     
  13. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    Of course this isnt my car. You think I would pay for a Scion? Puh-leeeze
     
  14. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

    "remember that scene in Resevoiur Dogs with the cop and the gasoline? that was great! *starts humming "Stuck in the Middle With you"*
     
  15. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    "How do I know your a cop? I got a badge here that says I am DEA and and ID that says I am FBI. Ever heard of the internet pal?"
     
  16. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

    "Can we hurry this up? If I'm late again my connection's gonna kill me".
     
  17. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    "So wait, this has absolutely nothing to do with armed robbery?"
     
  18. _chris_

    _chris_ Marxist

    "can you smell anything coming from the trunk? no? oh good, lets just stay away from there then"
     
  19. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

    *hands three folded food stamps and two Mcdonalds Happy Dollars over with licsence, smiles confidently and says.."you didn't see a thing"*
     
  20. crummyrummy

    crummyrummy Brew Your Own Beer Lifetime Supporter

    What do you mean? I am not even a resident of this planet. I am above you and uyour petty restrictions. Now be a good boy and escort me to your Most Underage hooker.
     

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