What to make of LSD bad-trip?

So to give some context. I beleive in God, am somewhat spiritual, however, I am a very introspective and am a huge extrovert, I love people and human interaction, being alone gets me depressed easily or just being in a dead environment like a mall that was big but is now a ghost mall. Anyways prior to this I had taken Shrooms and LSD multiple times before at 3.5-4 grams of shroom being my max and LSD 150 ng being my max (or 250 not too sure). All were great and fun experiences minus some come up anxiety and the LSD headaches I get. Anyways.

It was the end of Labor day weekend, I had just had a weekend of debauchery, drinking and I did MDMA sunday night. Was gonna finish it off with LSD. It was monday morning, I had planned to take the same amount of the same batch of LSD I had always had, this was 1 and 1/2 tabs which is either 150 or 250 ng, regardless I had done this exact amount before twice of the exact same same batch and had an amazing experience so I wasn't too concerned. Anyways, I drop it around 1:30, I was with my close teamates who are like brothers to me and this new recruit who I liked a lot but didnt really know all well. I drop the 1 in a half and he (the new recruit) just takes the other half, my two other friends take nothing and decide to just smoke some weed. So the come up gradually happens as I expect it to, were are watching anchor man and it is fucking hilarious, colors are melting and breathing, tracers etc. Im dying of laughter, I smoke a little bud and whatever its all good, we go outside and play a game of soccer, its fun as fuck.

Then we leave the park and go to mcdonalds. we go and I eat a burger and ice cream, buy my friends some food. The visuals on the mcdonalds order touch screen looked really cool. During the time in mcdonalds I start getting these kinda grandiose thoughts in my head like me and my girlfriend, our love will take over the world well be an unstoppable force. I didnt actually beleive it but my brain started envisioning things in that grandiose nature. Their was like an ambiance of like a movie trailer and scenes flashing through my head like a james bond trailer. Then one of the 4 of us who didnt drop, says hes gonna go meet a girl and leaves , kinda saddens me but whatever I understood. So now its just the three of us. We decide to go the guy I barely knew's house (obviously not the best Idea but I had been there many times and hes such a nice guy). We decide to turn of the TV and watch family guy.

Now this is where things get weird. We turn it on and we decide to watch the Tony Robbins episode, now I have never seen this episode before but I have seen a lot of family guy and am aware of its recurring themes and the nature of the show, I always loved it. Now we start watching it and something seems off. Now I know tv and movies on psychadelics is more of a amplified experience, which came naturally to me at the time as I have watched some comedies on shrooms before and a Quintin Tarantino flick and it was amazing like I was actually there in the movies, it was amazing but the movies still seemed like themselves I was just seeing them in a bigger more deeper perspective. Here however, something felt very off and the Vibe was very eerie.

I am watching the episode and its nothing like how a family guy episode ever looks at all. The art style seems different, the voices kinda sounds different.Then, their is a scene with Lois drinking and singing a song in a very eerie, creepy tone, even watching it sober, its weird as fuck. Family guy is usually fun and never seemed like this. The episode continues and another scene with this creepy lois comes up which can be viewed at the 2:37 mark here . It fucken disturbed me and kinda scared me and I tell my friends to turn it off right away. The show was kinda evil almost and it almost felt like the characters knew I was there after that point, like in a bad dream or nightmare. Plus the intrinsic weirdness of this episode, even from a sober persepctive, just made it seem so foreign to me I was like this is not the family guy I know.

We go outside to get air and im calm but everything kinda seems off, I am not as scared but like rather I am just confused. It felt like I just broke through reality or like a glitch occurred, like I died and just wokeup or just died in general, like a video game or simulation just rebooted kinda. My aunt messages me saying "good luck in school this week" which is odd for her to do, even sober lol. She didnt even know the dates I started school and it seemed so nice and warm and made me feel great inside hearing that. I wasn't mad or angry but just confused as to what just happened and why am I feeling like this and what is it that I finally "understood".

We walk back to the park where we played soccer and people just look weird and funny and are speaking languages I cant even understand. Its important to note that at this point and during the family guy incident, I had not attributed the LSD to this and almost forgot I was on it because this had never happened before on this amount of LSD. This led me to think something went wrong or something bad happened to me and it wasn't the drug causing it.

Then I started thinking things to rationalize this among the likes of "Ok before I did LSD today I did some morning prayers at a synagogue (jewish), maybe I finally unlocked God's divine truth and I am now in heaven" which has been known to happen to various mystics, then I thought "Or maybe while we were tripping when I crossed the street I got hit by a car and I am dead now or am having a near death experience" or I thought "maybe the LSD was a key to unlock me and my entire life I have been trapped in this world and not really experiencing it and now I finally have discovered "it" like a matrix ". I didnt have any delusion of Grandeur like I thought I was gonna save people or I became "God". No. Inside things were still rational and I was still myself inside. I wasn't screaming or acting violently, I didn't blackout. At this moment, any ego related thought had vanished so money, my competitive sense of self as I was a national team athlete, still am, insecurities, being successful in business, impressing women. That all vanished and it was kind of nice but I was bothered by the fact that I didnt know what exactly was going on and why everything felt so different and what was it that I had unlocked.

I would go to type on my phone and what I observed was odd, like my typing was disoriented as if my keyboard layout had changed but it hadn't so certain words had the same pattern of error . Additionaly, my speech almost had like an impediment whenever I tried to speak in full-fluent sentences (I would like to think of myself as pretty well spoken, so this was weird). I asked my friends what they felt and they said "what do you mean nothing happened its all ok". The fact that both acted as if nothing happened and they didnt just feel that shift set me off. I put on some music I usually love and it just seemed even more foreign.

Now this is where it takes a turn to strange town. So due to everyone saying they didn't feel the change, I right away assumed that my perception didn't change, I wasn't enligthened, I was still myself. What I had actually hought was that I had actually been transported to another world, a fake simulated version of ours. That eerie vibe when I watched that family guy episode came back and I slowly grew very paranoid that I was trapped in some other fake universe alone. Now in the beggining I made reference to my extroverted nature for I think it played a significant role in making my trip turn south as the thought of being alone as my ego slowly returned after the peak for me made me feel so scared and depressed and trapped. I missed everyone so much, my friends and family. My old world where I was connected with everyone. Now during this nightmare bout of the trip, I didnt see any demonic faces, auditory/visual hallucinations, no voices were telling me to do things. I was very calm and collective on the outside. However my conscious, me talking to myself in my head, was going through thought loops as I was trying to rationalize what had happened and how shitty this was. I honestly thought I had died and was in a hospital right now and this is just my near death experience or hell. I honestly didnt know.

So I call my girlfriend hoping to get some answers out of her maybe she knew what was going on in this world, I didnt know it but at the time I loved her and still do to this day so I felt very close with her, she ended up being my first love and is my amazing girlfriend today. She comes to pick me up but comes with a friend who I didnt' know was with her. Now she didnt tell me she was coming with this friend and my phone had just died once they picked me up. I get in the car kinda weirded out. Now we start driving off, I am in the back and them two in the front. Now in reality they didnt know where to go as they have this LSD kid in the back so we start driving and Im asking where are we going and they laughingly say "we dont know" and it seems like their almost murmuring words to each other but they clearly werent. They also seemed very scripted and I experiences a HEAVY Truman-Show Delusion, in which everything felt scripted like it was being manipulated by a higher power controlling my world and everyone was in on some joke almost. I ask for a phone charger and they say they dont know what that is as a joke and start laughing but I took it like wtf, this world doesent want me to connect to my phone and they are all in on some scripted joke. We end up driving to the house of one of their friends and I get out the car and then her friend says "were going to my house" just switching it up all of a sudden. Even from a sober perspective this was really confusing and just annoying so imagine from a lsd paranoia induced perspective how this would have seeemed. We go to her friends house and I go upstairs in the bed and my girlfriend is by my side. She gets me water but everything feels really fake and I could almost here murmuring in the walls (but when I listened closely I could tell it was just in my head) and I wanna go to sleep thinking it will allow me to "wakeup" from this nightmare, but can't cause im on fucken drugs lol (I still thought I wasn't on drugs at all). I ask to leave and we leave her friend's house us two alone. I immediately beg to take her phone so I could access technology. For some reason, information technology among the likes of forums and reddit seemed like it was unchanged and was still of the same as my "home world".

I look up my symptoms and come across lsd induced derealization, depersonalization which seems to fit how im feeling. I show it to my girlfriend and she understands and we sit on a park bench and I start watching these people play tennis and in just 5 minutes it completely goes away. So in total the trip lasted about 8 hours and the bad trip part maybe 3, nightmare trip 1-2. Not too long honestly. I leave the trip feeling amazing and EXTREMELY GRATEFUL like I wanted to help those suffering from bad mental health. A good friend of mine experienced a psychosis episode that year and I immediately felt so empathetic for him it was crazy. I told my girlfriend I loved her and we went to mcdonalds and I ate like i never ate.

Trying to fall asleep that night was hard as the drugs were still in system and I was afraid this feeling would relapse. I had a few panic attacks whenever I fell asleep as a result of fearing I would go back to that nightmare realm, then I finally went to sleep and woke up. Now the days preceeding ever since than from day 1 post trip, I havent had any deja vu or relapsing feelings, no "triggers", no afterglow really either or any delusional thoughts of any sort. However, when I watch that little scene from family guy with lois that started it all, or whenever I try to dig deep and think inwards about how I truly felt during that trip, I get a bit of a heart wrenching feeling, anxiety. But no depersonalization or changing of reality or anything that would resemble a psychosis ever since. I have actually become more empathetic and my views on life have changed in a much more positive way. Still havent tripped since.

What do you experienced psychonauts make of this? I think doing MDMA the night before could have played something with serotonin but nowhere online does it say that doing mdma before a day of LSD does anything bad. Was it set and setting? Were those tabs maybe a lot stronger then the other ones of the identical batch? Does one bad experience mean I can never trip again? Weed i have smoked alot since and it has been just fine, actually I am much less paranoid on weed now and less paranoid in general since how I used to be before this trip as it kinda taught me what true paranoia is like. If I did MDMA would this happen in the future, as I wanna do some on NYE.

TLDR: After night of MDMA, Took 1.5 tabs of LSD next day (with mutliple positive LSD and Shroom and MDMA experiences on my belt already at same apparent dosage), come up was normal, then I felt like I "broke" reality in like a matrix-delusion and finally was "enlightened", didn't understand why this happened, it seemed very solipsistic and it turned to a paranoid Truman show delusion where everything seemed fake and was in on some joke. Everyone and everything seemed evil, ended when trip ended (total bad trip of about 3-4 hours of the total 8 hour trip duration). No relapse or psychotic symptoms or even depression ever since, just curious as to wtf happened. No history of family illness. I am a huge extrovert.
Thank for listening I know it was long but fuck I want to know

 

well, I'm not going to read that. But I will say this about bad trips. Shit Happens. It's a sucky ass thing. I've had my share on both acid and mushrooms. I've also had experiences with edibles that were unfavorable, but you can only get so bad with those... they aren't quite so out of control. Also, MDMA (or whatever the fuck is actually in x) can sort of get edgy but I haven't had a bad trip there that I can remember. It's probably not impossible.


So, I did read a tiny smidgeon of what you wrote at the top about dosage. That's important in my opinion. You want to limit that or things can really go blindingly fast in a multitude of different directions! So, you took the same thing you always take, huh? Well I guess sometimes anxiety gets the best of us.

Did you know when you smoke pot on acid that the trip gets wayyy stronger?

 

immediately went to .

to long didn't read..

can you summarize ?

 

This is why I never did acid unless I also had pot....

 

TLDR: After night of MDMA, Took 1.5 tabs of LSD next day (with mutliple positive LSD and Shroom and MDMA experiences on my belt already at same apparent dosage), come up was normal, then I felt like I "broke" reality in like a matrix-delusion and finally was "enlightened", didn't understand why this happened, it seemed very solipsistic and it turned to a paranoid Truman show delusion where everything seemed fake and was in on some joke. Everyone and everything seemed evil, ended when trip ended (total bad trip of about 3-4 hours of the total 8 hour trip duration). No relapse or psychotic symptoms or even depression ever since, just curious as to wtf happened. No history of family illness. I am a huge extrovert.
Thank for listening I know it was long but fuck I want to know

 

I read to the Family Guy part and then skipped to the TLDR. As mentioned above, Set and Setting or Mindset and environment are imperative when exploring LSD, they are more important to a good trip than dose once you cross the threshold of tripping. I get the sense, based on the first half of your OP, that you took it in a rather casual manner: coming off a night of indulging in booze and MDMA, going to Mcdonalds, hanging out with people you don't really know, doesn't seem like a good setup for an Acid Trip .

 

So... we wait for the spambot response with the link to malicious software?