I've been with my girlfriend on and off for 3 year's now but I've known her since the third grade. Although she holds a very special place in my heart because she was the first person I willingly gave my body to, our relationship isn't a stable one. When we aren't fighting we're having sex and when we aren't having sex most time's we are fighting. She's my best friend, the first one I go to when I'm having a hard time, we can talk about anything and everything, we like a lot of the same things and even have the same favorite color and food! I love her very very much. We broke up for like the 8th time shortly after new year's. We got back together in March. A week ago she asked me if I'd ever considered being a mom again. I have....we have a 5 year old son, I say we because she's been there from the very beginning and he even calls her mommy. We love him, I love him more than life itself even though he was conceived because I was raped when I was 14. I love being a mom I do, but I don't feel ready to go through pregnancy again! It was so horrible the first time. They say once you hold your baby you forget all the pain and all but I haven't forgotten! I'm not ready, more important is the fact that I see how much my son suffers when she and I aren't together. I shouldn't subject my son to this and I can't call my self responsible if I bring another one into the fold. I don't want to lose her and I know we need help to sort out our issue's before even thinking about another child but she can be so persistent when she wants something. I don't know what to do.
