What to do?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by zam23, May 31, 2007.

  1. zam23

    zam23 Member

    Hi all,

    I'm currently in a relationship with this girl (we're both 18), we met about 3 and half months ago, and have been dating solidly since. All that we've done so far is kiss, and frankly, its getting a bit dull. Two of our friends who are in a relationship (for the same amount of time) were having sex ages ago, but the girl I'm with seems to regard anything beyond just kissing as bizarre and doesn't really want to go down that route. Nevertheless, she (somewhat irritatingly) always wants to go out and go for long walks and stuff, and gets annoyed if we don't meet up seriously at least 2/3 times a week.
    Is this due to her being frigid? Or immature? I pretty sure its not because shes unattracted to me (?)

    Thanks

    Zam
     
  2. Merry Mab

    Merry Mab Member

    It's likely she's not ready for sex. We all come along at different times in life.
     
  3. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    have you, i dunno, tried TALKING to her about it/sex?
     
  4. mlee27

    mlee27 Member

    some poeple don't want to sleep wuth someone they barely know.3 and a half months is not that long to decide to have sex with you. geez, that's all anyone ever wants is sex. it's funny when girls fo give it up quickly we are sluts and when we don't put out we're prudes. what is wrong with walks and spending time with her? are you spending time so you can get in her pants or because you want a meaningful relationship. be honest with yourself and most of all her, why mislead her? if all you want is sex tell her and stop spending quality time with her. i think the immature one is you for expecting her to have sex with you after 3 months.grow up
     
  5. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    Dude, don't you have an ounce of romance in your soul? Going out for long walks is very romantic! Unless all you're thinking about is getting laid, in which case you probably won't appreciate this.

    And just because she's not ready for sex with you doesn't mean she's frigid. It just means she's not ready for whatever reason she may have. it's all right if you think about having sex with her a lot, but do try to enjoy the moments you have with her even if you're not getting any further than kissing.

    As for her getting annoyed when you don't meet up at least twice a week:
    it's normal to want to spend regular, reasonably frequent time with your significant other. And look on the bright side, at least she's not demanding that you see each other everyday.

     
  6. homeschoolmama

    homeschoolmama Senior Member

    3 1/2 months = frigid? I must be the ICE QUEEN! My husband waited 3 1/2 YEARS!

    Some people look at it as "making love" versus just a physical act. And to be able to do that takes time, long walks and stuff, and a deep level of commitment with each other.

    Most people I know would never consider sex with someone they've known for JUST over a quarter of a year - and only see a few times a week! That's less than a dozen visits with each other. She sounds perfectly normal to me.
    love,
    mom
     
  7. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    i waited about 4 or 5 months before i fucked my first bf, before i gav emy virginity and i was a horny freakin teenager. i still think you should TALK TO HER about it
     
  8. Marija

    Marija Senior Member

    I'm sorry but i got very irritated by your post, you are dating 3 1/2 months, you obviosly don't really care for her, you care too much about your friend's opinion, you haven't talked about sex but you want to have sex and she is immature?! Grow up!
     
  9. Crayola

    Crayola =)

    i think u guys are being too harsh with zam23.. i mean, of course its stupid to call an 18yo girl who hasnt had sex in the past 3 months "frigid", but he clearly doesnt have a clue, thats all. doesnt necessarily means that hes only with her for sex, i mean its normal that he wants to have sex with his gf.
    however, zam23 u should definitely talk to your gf. its clear that shes not ready, and its no big deal, but i guess it'd be better if u heard it from her than from us. AND u should discuss the issue of the time spent together. its not nice to start a relationship and think "omg its so boring when we have those long walks", i mean at that point of the relationship u should absolutely love everything u do with her, if u dont then maybe u just shouldnt date... heh, my opinion
     
  10. Riggs

    Riggs Banned

    Darlin, I agree, but you have to know that not all like to do the same things. This is where you show your love and meet somewhere in the middle.
     
  11. langveldt

    langveldt Member

    I think one should never make a haste when it comes to having sex in a relationship. It should be remembered that sex is all about mutual understanding so both persons need to be ready for the same. If the girl is reluctant then give her space and never force the issue. The time will certainly come, again never do the mistake of comparing yourselves with your friends however close they maybe.
     
  12. Crayola

    Crayola =)

    well obviously. but in the beginning of a relationship, u generally find everything the other person does to be awesome. and if u see stuff u dont like u ignore them cuz your love is blind.
    i mean i never started a relationship thinking "omg that person is boring", i would leave them if i thought everything we did together was boring.
     

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