What to do if i feel no pleasure from sex (penetration) as a guy?

Ever since i first lost my virginity sex i have never got any form of pleasure (emotional or physical) from penetration, i've only recently discovered (as in the past year) that the only way for me to feel pleasure is from oral sex (as i just thought that i was one of those rare cases where i just simply feel nothing from sex)

I'm not sure how to go about fixing this. I'd like to believe this is psychosomatic and that hopefully talking with my counsellor will help with this, but in case it isn't "all in my head" what can i do to stop feeling jealous of other people's sex lives where they are able to feel things that i just simply can't and generally what can i do if the only way for me to receive pleasure is through a BJ

I lost my virginity at 21 and i'm now 26 (almost 27) just in case people were thinking its a "you're young and it'll come in time" scenario

Note masturbation still gives me some kind of pleasure

 

You counsellor may well be in a better position to help you overcome this.

The other theory I have is that , just maybe you havn't been able to have that special connection with another person yet. I for example do not enjoy sex with another person unless I have some connection with them. Then ,there are others possibly those you are comparing yourself with, who can just enjoy raw sex, without necessarily having a connection with the other person.

 

I do love my girlfriend and i love pleasing her and i love it when she gives me oral, but actual intercourse i find it virtually impossible to orgasm from. So i don't think it's a connection thing

 

Your experience is within what I call the "normal range." There's nothing unusual about it, and it's only a problem if you are trying to produce a child (the need to ejaculate inside her vagina). Even then, the easy work-around is for you two is to get you to the edge of orgasm and then finish inside her vagina. It's a very easy work-around. Not only is your experience common, but the reason is also very obvious. Many men in your situation are simply gripping too hard when they masturbate. Stop masturbating, or simply use a much lighter touch when you do, for a period of weeks or months and you will see a change in your eagerness for and enjoyment of the act of coitus (vaginal penetrative intercourse). Regarding oral sex, one well-conducted study a few years ago found that men had their largest erections when receiving oral sex, as opposed to coitus, masturbation, and other forms of stimulation. That's a good indicator that receiving oral sex produces the greatest arousal and physical sensation for a man. A woman has much more control over her mouth than she does her vaginal and other pelvic muscles. Like your own vice-grip masturbation, she can give you a much "tighter" sensation and more variation in sensation than you will feel when inside her vagina. She has a very strong tongue muscle and teeth up there, for one thing, and her facial muscles give her much more control of her facial lips than she has over her lower labia. One thing you don't mention is her enjoyment of sex and whether she derives much pleasure from the PIV experience with you.

It could simply be that your sexual organs are mismatched in size, and that your particular penis is relatively small for the size of her particular vagina. It also may be that she produces a great deal of natural lubrication when aroused. Either of those situations will reduce the amount of friction and sensation for both of you. If she is satisfied with your sex, consider that a good thing. Continue to have fun, and continue experimenting with her. Only 15 percent of women regularly reach orgasm from penetrative intercourse alone, without additional direct clitoral stimulation, so it may simply be that you're over-emphasizing the importance of that one activity. Spend less time thrusting and more time pleasing each other in other ways than you have been until now. Change the mix, and be happy.

 

I would suggest counseling. Are you unusually small? (your penis)
I ask this because in my experience i get more feeling from intercourse than oral by far. It isn't even close.
Oral sex is more about the heightened arousal of a woman placing your cock in her mouth and seeing her do it...and praying she will take the cum in her mouth as well..major rush. But as for feeling alone, sex is much better. As for masturbation, that of course gives you the most stimulation since you control both the pressure and speed, as well as concentrate on any part you want.