What to do about the fellow who ...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Suncatch22, Apr 5, 2007.

  1. Suncatch22

    Suncatch22 Member

    ... well, it's a long story.

    We met at work and he IM'ed me later to say he really had a crush on me. (He's 24, very intelligent but really shy and somewhat socially inept ...)
    We talked for a few weeks over AIM, and really hit it off, never really hitting a sore topic or getting tired of each other. I brought him treats at work (we're both vegan but he doesn't cook), and spent my lunch breaks with him, etc.
    One night we went to his house after work, got drunk, and watched a movie. He was still awkward, but once everyone else went to bed we ended up having insane drunken sex.
    Oddly enough, the situation didn't turn awkward, and we continued to have strangely sweet conversations ... until suddenly he stopped talking to me and started blowing off our plans. When I called him on it (reasonably and not unkindly), he got exceedingly and disproportionately angry, and I got angry back; we basically began to hate one another, and figuring it was over, I moved on.

    However, he now says he has an intense guilt complex, and had wanted to love me, but he doesn't know how right now, etc etc etc. He apparently is psychologically damaged even more now, and out of remorse is denying himself any pleasure.
    I know he's not saying this to guilt-trip me, because when I offer to do something to help him, he honestly refuses. From experience, I think he really is just extremely clinically depressed, and know this is NOT what I need in my life right now ...

    but I don't know how to let him down gently. I like him a lot, or else this wouldn't have happened, but clearly this is a bad situation that will just end up hurting us both.
    Any advice on how to not break anyone's heart ... ? :(
  2. missfontella

    missfontella Mama of Da Assassins

    I just wanted to let you I read your post

    I'm bitter right now so take this for what its worth:

    Get out now. It will only be harder later. If not, this will the moment you remember as " I should have got out"

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