What to do about my boyfriends boss

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by CrAzYStaRR, Jun 2, 2004.

  1. CrAzYStaRR

    CrAzYStaRR Member

    Ok, here's the situation...
    My boyfriend is working at a small buisness, and since he started his boss has turned into his best friend. Well, in the begining when I would go around his boss, I thought he was looking at me funny, and then my mom told me that he was staring at me. He always wants me to go for a ride with him on his motor cycle, always has his hands on me, and then the other day he told me that I was really cute and needed to get on a web cam and do sexual stuff on it and charge money. He also said that he would watch it and tell all his friends to. I blew it off, but then he kept it up all night long.
    Then the other night he dropped my boyfriend off and when I went outside to get stuff out of the car, they pulled up. I went up to the car and asked what they were doing and he was like, "about to do something that isn't right" and then he winked at me.
    I'm not sure if my boyfriend is blind to all of this, or If Im just blowing it put of proportion.

    Im not saying it's not flattering or anything, but still. He's 40 and I'm 21, he's got a wife that would kick my ass, plus his, and I love my boyfriend and dont want anything to be messed up.
    Should I say somthing to his boss or to my boyfriend? Or should I let it go??
     
  2. sugrmag

    sugrmag Uber Nerd

    Umm, he sounds like a scumbag. Tell your boyfriend. Tell him to leave you the hell alone. The longer you don't, you are just perpetuating it. Not saying anything is telling him that it is okay for him to act that way.
     
  3. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    Definatly tell your boyfriend you feel weirded out and uncomfortable and that you "think" he may be flirting with you. You probably don't want to make a huge fight and risk your b/f losing his job so I'd say "think". Then tell the boss to back down because you will tell your boyfriend OR his wife to have a talk with him about un-wanted advances. lol The problem is that if you don't tell your b/f and it slips out or something happens he may get mad that you didn't tell him in the beginning. Plus, with everyone knowing now he can realize and tell him if he didn't like how he talked to you. good luck and let us know how it goes!
     
  4. WayfaringStranger

    WayfaringStranger Corporate Slave #34

    if you want . ..
    . . very little drama, confront his boss, and tell him he needs to chill and that youre not a sex object.
    ... minor drama, tell your boyfriend and let him decide if he wants a new job or to let it slide
    .... a whole bunch of drama, tell his wife and let nature unfold
    .... maximum drama go ahead and sleep with him.
     
  5. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    It's so hard to say, cuz I don't know what kind of guy he is... Some guys think that it's funny to be like that. They wouldn't actually do anything, if they had the chance, but they like to talk it up and flirt...

    When you say he put his hands on you... What do you mean? Again, some people are just touchy-feely kind of people and it would suck if you incorrectly labelled him for that...

    I would say talk to your bf, get his take on it. Let him know that you aren't sure if this guy is just all talk, or if he's really being a jerk. If you are comfortable enough, maybe even talk to his boss, directly. Tell him "Look, I think you are a nice guy, but your playing is making me uncomfortable, because I don't know you very well and your girlfriend will kick my ass and that really scares me..."

    Since I don't know the guy, I can't really say what his manner is. What is your reaction to him? When he says you should get on a webcam, what's your reaction?

    This is totally sterotyping, but I grew up in a household of construction workers (and have worked in many a blue-collar environment). And they were stereotypical. So, I learned how to deal with sexual horseplay. "You should get a webcam, baby, me and all my friends would pay to see you..." "Oh yeah? Well, I know how much you guys make and you couldn't afford me, sweetheart..." That kind of stuff... Usually, they are just wanting to play, it's not serious, just banter. And if you have a good comeback, it'll shut them up. LOL And if they touch you, punch them, hard, or twist their fingers. Let them know, "Hands off, buster!" Talk is one thing, touching is another, at least to me anyways...

    But, if it comes down to it... Don't be afraid to threaten legal action. Unwanted sexual advances is sexual harrassment. If he is acting in a way that you think is inappropriate and you feel uncomfortable, then put an end to it...
     
  6. CrAzYStaRR

    CrAzYStaRR Member

    Auburn,
    This might help with what kinda guy he is....
    This guy has already cheated on his wife 3 times,(this is his second wife) and he cheated on his frist wife with the woman he is with now....not to mention that he is 15 years older than his wife now.
    LOL Hope that helps a little.

    He came over last night and brought up the whole web cam thing, and I just flat out told him to fuck off...and he kinda backed down.

    When Im around him, he always has to stand by me, and he's always talking about my boobs. He really doesn't do this kida stuff to other people.

    And this one is really bad, 2 weeks ago I went to pick my boyfriend up from work, and he wasnt there, so I went in to ask his boss were he was, and he was like, "I made him go up to the store so I could malest (sp?) you while he was gone." He's a creep!

    Sometimes I just think I am more mad that my boyfriend seems to be blind to all of this, and is not sticking up for me. If someone told my boyfriend to put his wang on a web cam, I would get pissed and go off!
     
  7. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    <snippage>

    Aaaahhh... Yes, now I see...

    Ok, tell this guy straight up to back off, or you'll cut his dick off and give it to his girlfriend as a present. And tell your boyfriend what he's doing... Don't let him be blind about it, anymore.

    Yeah, he probably isn't the playing type. You need to stop him. It very well could escalate to him threatening your bf's job and he (your bf) would be wise to start looking for another one, anyways...

    Good luck. :)
     
  8. moonshyne

    moonshyne Approved by the FDA

    There's no need to bring your bf into this....yet. Try to keep the drama down as much as possible. Next time the guy says something, tell him very sternly to fuck off, and if that doesn't work ask him why the hell he thinks you'd be interested in his old ugly ass. I think he'll back off then.

    Also, make sure you let at least a few other people know, so if he decides to try to turn things around (some people do that sick shit, they get pissed at your rejection and try to make it seem like you're the one doing it) at least you'll have some folks to back you up.

    If i were you, i'd at least let my bf know that i'm not comfortable around the guy. You don't have to go into detail unless you really need to, but I think it's not right to leave him completely in the dark. You'd like to know if your bf was gettting hit on by someone, so it's only fair to do the same for him.
     
  9. CrAzYStaRR

    CrAzYStaRR Member

    This weekend his boss is having a get together, and we are supposed to go. If he says anything, I will just tell him to back the fuck off. I have decided to just kinda keep my boyfriend out of it for now, and fight my own battle. If he keeps it up, then I will have to do somthing else.

    Thanks all! I will let you know what happens.
     
  10. sugrmag

    sugrmag Uber Nerd

    I know he's your boyfriend's friend and all, but if someone was acting like that towards me, I wouldn't be around that person. And, if my boyfriend's friend was propositioning me and saying he was going to molest me, I sure as hell would tell my boyfriend. He doesn't need to be friends with someone who treats women like that. But, you should handle the situation the way that you think is best. I hope it all works out for ya.
     
  11. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    Let us know how the bbq goes...

    Sic balls, Crazy Girl! :D
     
  12. CrAzYStaRR

    CrAzYStaRR Member

    Well, we went to the bbq and everything was fine till someone came up and asked when I was going to start my web cam! I went off!! I called his boss over and told him if he didnt stop it I was going to tell his wife. Little did I know she actually knew he was saying all of this to me!

    I dont know what is wrong with these people.
    I went off on my boyfriend and told him he needed to grow some balls and tell his boss to stop talking to me like that. I saw his boss the other night, and he didn't say one word to me, and thats good because he is no friend to me.

    Im glad I stood up for myself instead of my boyfriend doing it. I dont want his boss to think he can push my buttons like that.


    Thanks for the help everyone!!!!!!
     
  13. Mari

    Mari Member

    If I were you I would stay as far away from these people as possible. Something about all this doesn't sound right at all.
     
  14. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    <snippage>

    Woo Hoo! Way to go! I'm glad for you. Do you feel better? I'll bet you do. It feels good to be strong and stand up for yourself.... :) And, you are stronger for it, as well. Next time someone is giving you a hassle, it will be easier for you to take care of yourself. :)

    I, for one, am proud of you! :D
     
  15. PureInnocence

    PureInnocence Member

    Oh thats crazy! Maybe they're actually swingers and they were testing the ground with you. Obviously you're not interested! I'm glad you stuck up for yourself, and I am surprised your bf didn't do anything about it. But, some guys really are that clueless.
     

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