What Should You Do If Your Partner Refuse Sex(Is not in the mood)

Most men coarse their partners to have sex with them when they're not in the mood, either by making them feel guilty or something. But such sex is less enjoyable and bad for a relationship.

If your partner is not in the mood or refuses sex, you could talk seduce them with funny, lovely, and subtle means. If they refuses further, talk with them to see what's on their mind. To sum it all respect your partner's decision and be supportive.

Please share your advice for everyone

 

Not so much outright refusal, but rarely as interested as I am. Sometimes I play the marriage card and she will help me out, but I won't beg or coerce or cajole, no is a no and I don't want it that way ...but honestly, just how long and how much effort does it take to say yes? Do we both feel great during during and after? Of course, why wouldn't you want to do it then? I guess what I will never understand is why one always seems to have the controlling veto power if we 'can' do it or not. I'll never say no, but it's always a roll of the dice with her. I do one hell of a lot of miserable demanding things that I'm 'just not in the mood for or I am tired' but funny, they still get accomplished, all the time, because they just need to be done. "Dear, can you wash my car today? I want it to look pretty" Sure, of course honey, I'd be glad to, just because you asked and I want you to be happy. Can I ask you to blow me tonight, too, and you'll just do it? I'm 100% positive it won't take as much time, sweat or effort. Why should sex be any different ? I don't mean always tit for tat, or that we have to earn it.... Why do things, yet she can play the veto card?

Oh I do the usual things...flowers, take care of dinner, do all the shit she wants me to do, rub her feet, listen to her about her shitty day at work, get her a glass of wine....sometimes, of course, she sees right through it, but so what? Yeah, sex would be great, of course I want it, from you. That's what married people do for each other and to each other. I'm not complex nor demanding. It's a great simple connection - and when all is said and done (mostly said..) we both are in great moods - and I am not a crazy horny madman.

Men's and women's brains just don't work the same, especially when it comes to sex. They don't understand the constant physical need and drive we have for sex and they never will.

Feed us, stroke our ego now and then, fuck us and then all is right with the world.

It ain't complicated.

Thoughts?

 

Don't be coarse.

 

I am probably not typical, but as I recall, my wife would be more aroused and ready to participate in sex, when I was not always after her. I recall a trip wherein we drove for six hour to visit Las Vegas. As we got closer she began fantasizing about the naughty part of Vegas. When we checked into our hotel room, she was so horny, she virtually tore my pants off and threw me on to the bed. When she had me naked, she quickly removed her clothes and climbed onto my chest, and started teasing my face with her body. We then enjoyed each other for an hour or more.

 

Sigh. Oh, I am never coarse or that asshole about it. Just stating the point, one always has veto power and the other just has to put up with it.

 

I'm either odd or I would be correct to challenge the term 'most'.
If my partner doesn't want it, it means she doesn't want it.
I can either wait until she's horny or I can masturbate. Or both.
Simples.

Generally when I have had a sexual relationship, as opposed to the current sexless one, there was never a 'no' but, instead, a 'not yet'.
She sometimes needed to finish what she was doing and sometimes I was in that position where I needed to finish whatever I was doing.

One would tease the other to hurry up, she, by stripping and making me find it very difficult not to divert my attention to her. or I would try to distract her, usually failing. lol
However, that was because they were healthy relationships, while they lasted.
Each of us would initiate things and the only issue was 'where' and whether it would be instantly happening.

 

I don't know how men are supposed to survive menopause....just tired of the game.

 

That's difficult. I expect I have just stated the bleedin' obvious.
Several potential solutions: (?)

a. Self satisfaction
b. lots of lube and mutual respect
c. permission to engage elsewhere
d. no permission to engage elsewhere

A combination of some or all.

I know one woman who went on HRT. Her sex-drive reverted to almost normal which apparently had been very high though for the first 3 or 4 months went through the roof.
I know of two others who have permanent debilitating illnesses (MS for example) and that person has given permission for her husband to have sex with one of her friends, who's alone.
The other hasn't given permission but has said to friends that if he strays, she doesn't want to hear about it from anyone and hopes he will stay with her.
That strikes me as a really sad place for her to be. Unfortunate for him.
I'm told he reassures her that he loves her and ain't for leaving. And he does 'stray' occasionally with a (female) friend of his.

No idea if that may help or even if it gives food for thought.

 

Oh, we've been all around the maypole with different HRT options. I suppose I'll have to settle for a weekly something for the foreseeable future. I just get a little crazy sometimes.
PS....washing her car this afternoon.....wish me luck....

 

It's a never ending cycle, generation after generation. Birth, growing, puberty, sex life, children, family raising, and then the division. Everyone goes through it, men and women. The difference is the thought patterns prompted by the division. Men continue to desire sex. Women grow out of it. The difference in hormone production is the key. Men = testosterone. Women = estrogen. Once the last fertile egg is released, menopause, a womans sex drive reduces. The female body has no reason to have sex anymore. Men continue even though testosterone production reduces with age. This is the division. In women (and this is generally as there are always exceptions) the body changes to where sexual activity becomes different, mostly painful. HRT is supposed to help with that but it doesn't always. Is there a cure for this? Nope. Your children go through the same scenario up to the division and so and so on.

 

How many problems of the world could be soothed by men and women having the same sex drive.

 

In my opinion a women's sex drive should surpass that of a man, from the age of 16 and 45 (or so). The problem may arise if the woman is not getting the satisfaction from the sexual activity currently happening. Quality may be more important than quantity. Talk to her and find out what fantasies she has and how to act them out. It may occasionally involve other people and kinky things. My wife was interested in trying anal sex when she was in her 30's. I did not understand the necessity and refused to try it. Later we tried it without learning more about it. A lubricated condom was not enough, and she has never brought it up again.

 

It's very common from my experience with my late partner communication was hard to express finding a solution without a blame game or resentment , can be fatigue medical or mental issues etc , as just a couple of potential barriers to overcome , we all can't mind read each other and reaching out to discuss with a qualified health professional , can be helpful for clear answers and clarity ... All the best !

 

Give her a hug and kiss. Tell her you love her. Then go watch TV, go fishing, wash the car, or do something else. I want her to be as totally involved in making love as I am. If she isn't in the mood, then I can wait.

 

I had that problem after 24 years . it was always an excue. the kids , im tired and other
we were like that for 3 years. idont know if she was doing someone else so i went out looking for a Gf and found one
she had no problem letting me do her
we had sex almost everyday when i wasnt working or after if i was

itlasted alittle over 3 month till i got caught
itook the mistres on a business trip and asked if i was seeing some one when i got home
like a dumb ass i said yes and she walked out but came back for days later and had tto give the gf up
the gf wanted to know iff we sttill anted to see eeach other and I said no as it would have been to hard to get out
do i regret not saying yes, yes. we never saw each other again at least sexuall or talked to her

 

Go bowling.

 

Sex is to marriage as mortar is to a brick wall. It can be neglected for a little while but it is a necessary component and must be maintained. Without it, the marriage/structure will fail.
Calmly and clearly explain your needs and desire for her. Make all effort you can to improver her need and desire for you. If she can not or will not do the same and help to keep the structure strong, look elsewhere. Stay together if you can and want to. But your desire is healthy and not satisfying it is unhealthy in the long run.

 

Will you be wearing a speedo?

 

masturbate

 

Hardly....I did get a few points added to my BJ quotient, though.