My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about year now, and I'm starting to feel like I'm boring him. Just the past few weeks I feel like I'm not pleasuring him the way I use to. I want to talk to him about it because there could be so many things. He might just have a lot on his mind, but if it really is me then I feel like we should talk it over so I can fix it. I mean, on one hand I don't want to say anything because I know how much he's going through right now and I really don't want to add on to his plate. Then on the other I don't want him to be bored in bed. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Talk to him. The only way a relationship can work long-term is if both partners communicate and are open with each other. Tell him exactly what you've written here, and ask him what's going on and if he is feeling the same way.
well seems you know you should talk to him about it but if you really dont want to if seems you know what you should do. almost makes me think this is a troll post being its your first and an obvious answer. if you dont talk to him do something radically different than what you have been doing. different sex toys, foods, oils, clothes, whatever you do try something different and see how he reacts. you can tell him before hand or just surprise him with a "hey look what i bought" as your in the middle of foreplay. im sure others here would have better advice and ideas but mine will work in that if he is still bored he will most likely start a conversation with you about your new sexual self.
I don't understand why you feel this is your fault in any way. You are taking responsibility for not pleasuring your B/F. It sound like you have not changed, he has. Maybe temporary or not. It really takes two people in everything. You should not take all the blame for something that not even be an issue. Communication is more important than ever in what you have stated in your OP. Talk to him.
I know the guy I'm with would really want me to talk to him. There's nothing to fear. You are showing him you care.
I'mm pretty sure calgirl has a thumbs down follower. I definitely agree with scratcho. Can't get anywhere if they don't know your problem.
Bf means best friend to my knowledge unless thats someones initials. Op means original post(er) to my knowledge. Problem is the op is not my bf and dost have the initials bf. Unless you meant my best friend whos initials are op which still dosnt make sense because none of my friends initials are op
If "he's got a lot in his plate", perhaps that's the cause of the problems. You should talk, but talking isn't what people make it up to be. With some people, all the talk in the world won't make any difference. Are you willing to do more in bed? If so, just do it. It could also be he's lost interest, because he's fucking somebody else.
Yes, talking is an expression of what is going on in YOUR head. Many people use talking as an attempt to manipulate the other person to change. If we use the approach that we seek to understand, and leave out need for results, then the answers are more evident.
OP you could talk to your boyfriend, but be careful not to make what could be a minor issue, into a major one. After a year of sex, some of the 'new' has worn off, add to that he might have a lot on his mind (from what you say), and it could easily cause a lull in your sex life. It happens! Usually it is no big deal. Don't add to it by being overly desperate about always pleasing him. It wouldn't hurt to try to spark his interest some, but...It is as much his place to keep your sex life exciting as it is yours....if you start taking the blame for it now, you will at some point resent him, and/or get sick of doing all of the work. (This works both ways) If you aren't having other issues in your relationship, it might be in your best interest not to create an issue in the bedroom. If he is just under a lot of stress, it is likely to pass. Offer some extra treats to make him feel better for a bit...like a nice blowjob, hot bath, whatever usually relaxes him. If it helps, great. If it doesn't, then you may want to think about talking to him. Good luck!
On that last note, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion though or even entertain it just yet. It's more likely that it's stress that minimizing his enjoyment of sex, and it is ALSO possible that the sex is getting stale, as it tends to do with one partner over a long period of time. But the solution is to talk about the issue and how you feel in a positive way, and be open to trying new things in the bedroom. (role-play, toys, lubes, foods, positions etc..) It might be one of the best discussions either of you have had.
