What should I do? Share your experience please

Your life*

 

I hope my man will tell me that I’m perfect for him and will really mean it.

 

A good loving partner accepts and loves the other with the imperfections

unfortunately in my case I resented being asked those questions because I didn’t like lying. The truth with my ex would have been “honey, yes your hips are wide. So what, you are the same woman and I still love you. Your body changed with child birth”
Tell a lie and the woman knows and still has that feeling, always asks the questions. Tell the truth, you’re insensitive.

Please don’t ask
I resent the questions because I was asked more answers and details, feeling cornered having trouble telling more lies, it was never enough. Another piece of the puzzle in ruining the relationship

 

I was off topic, I apologize

with regard to you @Lilyinthevalley I see he is caring but there is something off that leaves a deep pain. Talk about it with a gynaecologist maybe, they know better about that part of a woman’s body.
How it will fit with your sex life, you may probably develop an intuitive answer

 

My ob-gyn told me I don’t have anatomical peculiarities, says that it’s more psychological. We are working on my muscles and mucous membrane, she says it will benefit. But I probably can’t even check it, because he would rather jerk off, but not have sex with me. Yesterday I did kegels with my two fingers and I felt a great girth. But we didn’t have sex yesterday, so maybe it could be good, but again I’m not sure. I think he doesn’t love me anymore and to feel better he just wants to leave me not to feel this pain and insecurity.

 

You are right. Yesterday I heard such words from him: “ I don’t love you. I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to kiss you in the morning. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t what to hug you.” I’m destroyed.

 

Sorry to hear.
I know you will find my next words hard to take or to believe yet I know there will be others thinking the same as I say it’s a good thing you reached that point with him. Now you will be able to start moving forward and feel better without him after you go through that difficult and painful period.
Avoid looking at what you miss; you will bog yourself down for longer. Instead let yourself go through your process so you can start feeling free and happier, free from the negativity you carry every day in his presence.

Some people, a handful I know/knew didn’t, wouldn’t, couldńt. I don’t wish you to be that kind of person.

Hope I make sense with all that and that you discover your strength that you can make it better going forward.

 

Lots of fish in the ocean. From what you say you wouldn't be losing much. You might owe it to yourself, to find a well endowed man. One that knows how to please a lady.

 

You're not in a good place, Lillyinthevalley.

Nothing about any of this issue is your fault. For him to turn his back on you not to talk, is a big giveaway. If he's not happy or won;t get his own way, he'll sulk and make you feel bad.

Am I the only one seeing this as the beginning of a coercive control situation?

You are NOT incomplete!! Do NOT let him put you down or destroy your confidence. For the time being, I would suggest you stop undergoing procedures. Exercise is fine, of course.
Learn to be yourself and to be happy with your own body. If any guy has an issue with your body, then it's he who has the issue - NOT YOU!
(Which it means it's not something to concern yourself over).

I suggest you need to stand on your own two feet for, say, 6 months, without a BF and to prove to yourself you can manage alone.
Learn to have sex on your own, with masturbation, if you haven't learned already. Use a dildo, not just for masturbation but to discover for yourself yourself how nicely it fits inside you.

And please also consider, a controlling person - a bully - can be very lovely when he wants to be but be absolutely dreadful when it suits him. Such a roller-coaster of emotions will wear you down, so it's he, imv, who has more pressing issues to get sorted.

It's just wrong that at your age (especially) but at any age, a female is so concerned/worried/upset because of things said by their partner.

Hoping to read some posts from women to see their perspective.