What really pisses me off about sexism and gender equality

... as a guy. Let's face it, we live in a post-feminist world here in the west. Ideas and attitudes about sexism have come about and have changed a lot of things, I guess for the better. But it's also something that really pisses me off, almost more than anything I can think of, like I can literally feel my blood start to boil.

It's the fact that sexism has only ever been taken seriously where it relates to how women are not treated equally to men. When it comes to most everything about how men are not treated equally to women, no one gives a shit. That pisses me off, because I give a shit. I believe in true equality in an egalitarian sense, but movements like feminism, even "men's rights" movements mostly do not. Women just want to correct the disadvantages they face but forget about correcting things where they are privileged over men, and men's rights exist mostly just to correct stupid laws that imply the rest of the world deserves special legal protection from the dangers of evil heterosexual white boogeyman. Neither of them really give a shit though, if men and women treat each other evenly.

So fine, women want to go to college and find a high paying career to bring home a bunch of bacon. That's swell. Well you know what? Since she has that power and that responsibility, guess what? I think I should be able to expect her to court me! That's right, take me on dates, maybe buy me something nice... win me over. I'm not quite the ambitious go-getter she is, so it'll be her job to woo me. Wait, what's that you say!?! That'll never happen?? Because I'm male, and that stuff is my job?! Bullshit. Yes I'm serious, that is a load of sexist crap. Women get to advance their options in our society, but us guys do not? We're stuck to the same lame ass double standards that have been placed on us for generations?

Women are just as out there and making things happen nowadays as men are, they have money, they're in control of their lives now. This isn't the 1800's anymore, but in a lot of ways it still is for men. I was once forced to sign my consent to selective service. Has any woman had to do that lately? Oh that's right, that's just one of many double standards that saves them the burden of leadership and loss of life too. On a sinking boat, why is my life less valuable than hers? As well, I keep wondering when if ever, a woman will offer to give up her seat so I can sit down? How many women would like to have a stay at home husband? I could go on, but in a nutshell, when are women going to stop thinking they deserve preferential treatment to a man if they claim to believe we should be seen as equals?

Gender equality is an idea that I am heavily supportive of. But when I say equality, I mean equality. I mean men and women do not need to and should not treat each other differently. I believe that the idea of gender itself is man-made and really outdated. Women aren't hard-wired to love the color pink any more than men are hard-wired to love blue. It's all a load of crap we mindlessly follow. Anyone can do, say, think, or like anything they want and it has no bearing on their sexual identity. Men and women should be able to live their lives with total freedom from oppression of identity and still be considered men and women. Not sit there and think their life needs to go one way or the other depending on what's between their legs.

Lord, this just frustrates the hell out of me. End of rant.

 

I can partially relate to your post. I no longer believe that gender roles are "man-made" although they may be in flux. Either way, it doesn't matter.

The ones to blame for double standards are men. You don't want double standards? Then have the balls not to give up your seat to the gorgeous blonde on the bus.

Women are not forced to fuck you. Just because they want a guy to pay for drinks and wedding rings, and picket fences, doesn't mean you have to.

They are not forced to fuck you. You're not forced to buy drinks and pull chairs. Just go without.
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That's what I do. I do not treat women any different from men, and I mean it. In fact, I hardly even look at them. It seems women avoid eye contact with me, so I do the same. I don't care how much cleavage they show. I don't care if she's Megan Fox. Feel free not to believe me.

I don't ignore them to get attention. I ignore them to ignore them. Still, I am civil. I treat them the way they treat me. They are civil, I'm civil. They are interested, I'm interested. They give me shitty attitude, I give them shitty attitude. Unfortunately, the latter seems to be the norm.

Even though I believe there's a biological reason for our differences, I give women the choice. Either I play my role as a man, and they play theirs as women.

(...)or we go dutch. I never was a very good doormat.

 

yeah, a majority of this is old news.

pretty sure that would literally kill you.

 

I once had a girl tell me that she believed that men and women were not equal, and that women are the weaker vessel, and that women should be submissive, homemakers, and raise children, that women were created for men, et cetera. infact i've had alot of girls tell me that. yep pretty much verbatim all the "sexist" things in the bible. some people might think that is skewed but we would say that the whole feminist movement is what's skewed. men and women are not equal, we have different gifts and are meant to function together in our different areas of gifting.... you don't see guys trying to go and take over the woman's workplace. we just aren't the same, and we never will be. we can be equal, but that doesn't mean what the modern feminist movement portrays it to be. we are equal, but different.

the head of every woman is man, and the head of every man is God. but yet that horribly offends some people. I don't know why. to think that a man might actually be wearing the pants in the relationship. OH MY GOSH!!!

my advice - use the stuck up feminist girls(since you can't just ignore them all) and wait until a real woman comes into your life.

 

Yeah fuck all these fake women with fake boobs and missing vaginas and stuff.
Gotta wait for the real ones to show up.

 

NO, I am pissed off about sexism and gender inequality, period.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. "Try this, try that". Guess what, I'm not blind to the inequalities women face, I know them like a book. So how about you address the inequalities of men for once? If all you can think of when it comes to what would make equality for men is that they could stop holding doors and paying for dinner, you seriously have a very crippled and one-dimensional view about what gender equality would mean. It means drop all of your preconceptions about how to treat a guy, and how he treats you.

Why did you not comment on the ways in which my life is less important than yours as a woman in situations of life or death? Or how violence against men is a lot more funny and cute in the media than violence against women? Why no comment on how the military doesn't view you as an efficient fighter? No comment on a man's right to his child, be it at conception or in child custody courts? Aren't you disappointed as a woman having not yet sunk your teeth into the dirtier, grittier, back breaking, dangerous positions that men work? Why no consideration of the courts rape laws that say I'm a rapist if she says I am. Why no thought to the way you or other women would judge me if I felt like wearing a dress? I seriously could go on and on, and on...

Creating laws that protect women and discriminate and exclude men is not equality. It's not right. Thinking about what benefits only one sex is not equality. Sexism is not better or worse for one or the other, that's just more sexism essentially. You're saying sexism against women is more important then we'll get to men later, you are totally sexist. I'm saying it's equally bad for both because again I care about equality and treating both right. No more double standards, no more preconceptions, no more differential treatment, and no more greater and lesser values because of penis or vagina status.

 

girls should be concerned with securing their own femineity not our masculinity!

 

I agree with you that there are inequalities and gender standards that are being ignored, in large part, due to the issues being men's issues. However I don't think it has anything to do with dating.

There are much larger issues that men deal with and I think it comes largely from marketing, media, health, the law, things of that nature and not individual women.

I don't know where you're from but there's not that many modern women who are all about buy me flowers, buy me this, buy me that...most of all, majority of feminists are not into that stuff at all.

However, it's all an individual thing, and maybe partially cultural in some parts of the world or even certain regions.

 

You might know them, factually, but you don't actually know them.


Seriously. You are right. I do believe women should be treated equally to men, in the military, in daily life. I think Cherea gave some solid advice, in a way. Fight stereotypes instead of complaining about them.

Feminists are men's true allies. We see you as more than some ridiculous machine who can't help but rape and be violent. We realize that you are capable of rational thought.

But to compare issues such as you did in your original post "since she has that power and that responsibility, guess what? I think I should be able to expect her to court me! That's right, take me on dates, maybe buy me something nice... win me over. " to the REAL issues that women face in a man-made world, is ridiculous.

 

four men go into battle. one is their commander. should the other 3 then be frustrated because they have less power? no! they are still important. what would the commander do if he went into battle by himself? what would the 3 men do if they went into battle without their commander? they would get killed thats what.

^part of the reason why the moral fabric of our society is breaking down so rapidly.

 

Well, it doesn't matter because this example is in no way relevant to gender relations. :2thumbsup:

 

I'm not interested in playing games with anyone. I don't give up my seat. The only kind of woman that I want, is one that doesn't expect that I would give up my set up to her and isn't secretly resentful about that either. I refuse to follow these roles, because as I stated I don't believe in them. If she doesn't like me for who I am because it doesn't "seem manly", then I don't like her either.

 

it's an analogy for power struggle.

 

Oh jeez, EPIC disagreements already ensuing!

 

I get it, but I'm saying that it is rubbish.

 

I sympathize with them. I would never do anything to perpetuate those unfair treatments. I look at them and say, what if men did the same? What if men were in that situation? If it's not equal, I say screw that.

I guess I was just pointing out how with equality, not only do disadvantages need to go away, but niceties and privileges of being one sex or the other need to go too in fairness. A lot of women want to have more control over their lives AND have reign over the special privileges they have on top of that. Meanwhile men have control in their lives too, but are expected to share their privileges with women, yet can't have 'fuck all of a woman's privilege.

I mean, if a woman is a go-getter and I'm not, but she is attracted to me, then she should pursue me. She should be the leading figure. There should never be standards that say some things are always up to men, or always up to women.

 

All feminists say that. Only about 5% of feminists seem to live it. Even many male feminists seem to have a delusion sense of the current state of gender affairs. There is this attitude in feminism that the woman is oppressed and virtually helpless; when the most used statistic about how poorly they are treated is from a biased wage study that took place in the 80s. And, I'm going off on a tangent here but, now there is this idea blowing up about America having a "rape culture". Yet, paradoxically, it's the mainstream media blowing it up. How can we have a rape culture, yet you can rile people up by bringing up the subject? It's true our country is completely fucked sexually; but rapists are considered worse villains than the goddamn bankers. The sex offender laws in some states are a complete affront to human rights, and lady justice doesn't take pity on the guys that are put in the system by shamed women after she makes a poor choice; unless 'the victim's' guilt catches up with her.

 

I don't really want to get involved in a gender debate, like at all, but couldn't help commenting on this as an aside...

this comment just confused me. Why wouldn't rapists be treated like villians?

 

Well, we DO have a rape culture. But it's not JUST the USA it's practically 90% of the world.

But that "Rape Culture" has shamed both woman and men who have endured this crime.

Men get shamed with the stereotype that Men should always like sex while women get shamed for "wanting/enjoying" it.

It's a product of a hyper-sexualized culture.

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Also with other gender issues like divorce and all that entails:

It varies by State law, and specifics of each divorce so....don't generalize people. If you want to make a claim on this subject you need to be specific.

(now we're overlapping with politics and law here, just fyi guys)