What not to do in this situation:

Discussion in 'True Confessions' started by ArgScalawag, Jan 12, 2005.

  1. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    One time I was in a public bathroom at the high school >havn't we all< and I was running on a tight schedual...but I had a little problem..I had to poop. There was no way I could go to my event without pooping. It would of been..just a wee uncomfortable. So, I went to the bathroom and everything was going great except one problem. I had a dingleberry. This sucker just wouldn't shake loose. Despite my efforts, nothing worked. So I began the wiping process. Bad Idea. It smeared all over my ass cheeks and i went through LOADS of toilet paper >im an excessive tp user to begin with..< Anyways..through all this pandemoniom i forget to flush continuously, and when i remembered, it was too late. The toilet was already plogged. A PUBLIC TOILET..well i checked to see if the coast was clear and waddled to the next stall. Still wiping excessively...this toilet got plugged up too! And i wasn't alone now, there were people in a line. So, i wiped all the rest off and threw the used toilet paper in the small sanitary trash can. Two out of three of the public restroom stalls were now clogged..from one person who just so happened to have a very pesky dingleberry. Needless to say, I went back later after my event and they had this plumber guy telling people to "Back off, we have a situation here" >refering to the two clogged toilets< A person like me found this more funny then embarassing.
     
  2. VWHippieBus

    VWHippieBus Member

    Thanks for making me laugh. Great story!
     
  3. lmao great story :)
     
  4. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    Lol, don't worry, I have plenty more. I think traumotizing bathroom situations seem to follow me around quite often. For example:

    I run cross country..and running while you have to poop is not a good feeling, so I make it a chore to take care of this business before my races. Well, at one race I was nervous >which isn't rare< and I couldn't tell if it was my nerves..or just the sensation you get before you have to poop. Well, better safe then sorry. I headed to the bathrooms and there wasn't a line so I went right into one of the stalls. Then, as if Beelzebub sent them himself, this ENTIRE mass of people just so happened to be going to the same place at the same time..the girls restroom. This turd wasn't even halfway out of my ass yet before this mass crowd started screaming in disgust "OH MY LORD WHAT IS THAT?! EWWWW OMG! I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!" So..i finished my business and walked out of the stall infront of this mass of people. I thought that i should play it off and act like the person who used the stall before me had done the smelly deed. So i stepped out and said "Wow, it really stink in there"...which didnt help at all...so i just washed my hands and left..lol
     
  5. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    LOL that's great.

    I think every person has stories like that. I happen to have bad airport expereinces. What is it about travelling that causes such bowel discomfort?!
     
  6. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    Anxiety!
     
  7. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    really? I fly a lot and I don't really get excited or nervous. I can be fine and then WHAM! everytime I'm in an airport. never fails.
     
  8. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    I havn't flown on an airplane before...I don't get nervous when i poop in public or anything..i just feel rushed. This causes the bowl discomfort. When you poop in public do you use a courtesy flush?
     
  9. tigerlily

    tigerlily proud mama

    what's a courtesy flush? i don't normally poop in public restrooms... too uncomfortable i guess...
     
  10. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    It's where you flush right when that sucker leaves ur bunghole so the smell doesnt seep through the noses of the unexpected victims:H
     
  11. LOL You have got to be kidding, A courtesy flush. Now there is something i have never heard of. but either way i wouldnt do a courtesy flush, i like to pay back all those lovely people who practically killed me in public bathrooms with the stench.
     
  12. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    Yes but if your like me and spend an excessive amount of time in the public bathroom because situations such as the ones listed above occur...the stinch can really waft and sufficate not only others, but you ;þ
     
  13. Roflmao X 10!!!!
     
  14. WynterFrost

    WynterFrost Short Bus Rider

    that is so funny
     
  15. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    Today I was in a public restroom once again, and the toilet paper roller wouldn't roll. So, in order to fix this problem, I had to unravel the toilet paper myself while it was on the roller >since im an excessive tp user, this took a while< I HATE IT!!! It seems that this happens in a greater percentage of all the public restrooms I use. Plus, since i don't sit on public toilet seats, i'm squatting the whole time. Going to the bathroom shouldn't feel like a workout when you get done just because u had to squat for an extened period of time while trying to unravel toilet paper. Does this bother anyone else as much as it bothers me? ;þ
     
  16. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

    I have the same problem so I usually carry my own emergancy tp stash.


    Failing that, if the establishment owner is going to provide cheap, unusably tp I figure he deserves to have his toilet clogged up with paper towels, or newspaper, or whatever's handy.
     
  17. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    Lol, Nice thinking. I feel as if I have to use more toilet paper in public restrooms because the toilet paper is so thin. Perhaps this is why i clogged all those toilets. I, however, don't carry emergency tp around with me >even though I probably should< because I almost never carry a purse >unless it's that time of month< I figure it's one thing less to forget or lose.

    ____
    Success is Never Fatal and Failure Never Final
     
  18. Hey since you carry you own tp around, did you know about this so called courtesy flush and do you use it too or are you all for the revenge of paying the "stinkers" back along with me? lol
     
  19. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    If you don't use the courtesy flush..then that would make you a stinker...correct? So maybe all these people are stinking up the bathroom to avenge those who stink up the bathroom because they lack courtesy >or maybe they seek vengence as well< This would thus continue a never-ending cycle of bathroom stinkers. Maybe we are all just sick human beings who glote over revenge.
     
  20. ArgScalawag

    ArgScalawag Member

    wow that sounds confusing ;þ
     

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