What Makes Marriages End?

So it seems that when people get married, they generally have the hope if not the expectation that their marriage will last forever. Why do so many marriages end in divorce, then?

I'm guessing that there are general categories

1. The marriage was just not meant to be, but you only realized this later. For example

You only realized later who the person you married really was

There was some fundamental incompatibility that built pressure over time and couldn't be resolved

You realized that there was some incompatibility, but you expected this person to change over time, but they didn't

2. The marriage could have survived, but...

There were problems that could have been worked out, but you didn't resolve them and over time they became too big to fix

There were external pressures (money, work, kids, other relationships, etc) that destroyed the marriage

3. The relationship was based on something superficial or temporary, and couldn't survive when that element was lost


What do you think?

 

Divorce...

 

the number one event that leads to marriages ending is marriages beginning.

 

I think betrayal does...

 

The bad outweighs the good.

 

I don't think humans are meant to be monogamous creatures. I think we can be monogamous for a certain amount of time obviously or everyone would be a cheater, but over a lifetime i believe it is a really rare and special event to remain in love with the same person. People change and often that means couples change in separate ways and become incompatible where perhaps they were once a perfect fit.

 

Death can certainly end a marriage.

 

http://www.hipforums.com/forum/topic/471529-sex-whilst-sleeping/

 

yes!

 

Divorce..... I'm not trying it twice..

 

monogamy exists in about 3% of the animal kingdom. I don't know why anyone convinced humans they were too... I know for a fact we are not

 

It would be easy for me to say that mine ended because he cheated, but that isn't true. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I was willing to work on it. When he said that lovely phrase...I love you but I am. It in love with you...well I basically washed my hands and he had to go.

Communication! Hands down would be a key reason. Lack of and miscommunication. Due to the lack of TRUST within being able to communicate other issues built up over time....until it was too late.

Communication and trust!

 

Lack of respect and honesty is what kills most marriages.

 

This phrase seems to really piss females off. I'm not sure if it's the sentiment itself, just the phrase, or some combination.

I can recall this girl telling me about how her friend's bf said this to her, and how it pissed her (the girl) off because it sounded really fake, like something someone repeated from a movie.

I suppose that it could reflect someone's genuine sentiments though.

I guess someone could say such a thing and mean that they want to rekindle the love, or say it as the justification for ending a relationship.

 

I'm not so sure that animal kingdom stats are relevant. Yes, we're animals too, but we're also very different from our animal relatives.

I would say that some people, under some circumstances, are cut out for life-long monogamy. Other people are not.

The problem is not that life long monogamy is something that no human is suited too, but rather a cultural tradition of seeing this as the one and only model for relationships, and people trying to force themselves to fit into this role even when it doesn't fit them.

 

I thought that phrase would piss anyone off, male or female.

It's so cliche and such a cop out.

 

I suppose it is cliche, but it could in principle genuinely represent how someone feels. That is, that you still have strong feelings for someone, but the sense of excitement or enjoyment is gone.

I would say that it would only be a cop out if it's insincere, like "oops, I got caught cheating, so now I'm going to whip out this line and see if she's dumb enough to think there is really a well thought out explanation for my infidelity in emotional terms, rather than the real reason, which is I just wanted to get my dick wet with someone who I thought would be a better lay"

In either case, loving but not being in love is not a justification for cheating.

 

I've had someone tell me that before - ouch, talk about a punch to the stomach. It was a pretty shitty way to break up with me when he could have been honest in a less brutal way and said we weren't compatible, which was the main reason we fell out of love anyways.

I think the fact that it is cliche yet brutal at the same time is what makes it such a shitty way to end things, cliches are supposed to soften the blow, not make it worse.

 

people dont marry their "soul mates" so naturally it end in divorce

 

Must be a myriad of reasons,but for me,it was a few reasons.Firstly,my husband created alot of unecessary issues.He was fine.....until we got married!(I actually didnt want t get married,he had to convince me,I was quite happy to just live with him)Anyway,my husband liked to keep up with the "jones's",something I detested.If his bro in law brought a new car,ex husband had to,and it went on!It got to the point of ex not paying bills on time,creating alot of stress,and the last straw was when I went to run a bath for our daughtet,and no water came out the tap!(He had'nt paid the water bill,so water board cut our water off! He was also a lousy father.He (apparently)wanted to have kids,as much as I did,and when the second one came along,he changed for the worse.Looking back,I think he just found the responsibility of it all too overwhelming.He wanted marriage and kids,but couldnt handle it.Glad its over though!