What makes good sex good

So I'm just going to throw this out there, and see if anyone has thoughts on it:

I've always felt like touch is a language, and sex is a conversation. The skills and tricks you have collected are your vocabulary, but you must also have a talent for listening, building on what your partner just said, and maybe the creativity to turn a clever phrase now and then. To me, that interplay is everything and is what makes for an outstanding experience.

People often focus on the mechanical aspects when they talk about good sex - the tricks, techniques, and physiques - but you can have an encyclopedic vocabulary and still be boring to talk to.

Just my take on it, curious to hear perspectives.

 

.......aaaaaand, crickets.
Not off to a roaring start, am i?

 

I'll give it a shot. My wife had frequent sex with guys in college. She enjoyed all of it and identifies one as her clear favorite sex partner. Our early sex life was enjoyable for both of us, but it took a while for both of us to learn how to have sex that was mind-blowing good. It was more than orgasms. She had lots of those with others, and I had enjoyed my masturbatory ones. It was a feeling that we really had united in some mystical way that we can't explain. It began with foreplay and continued through post-sex cuddling and loving.

 

Yep, I get that mystical connection thing. Definitely hard to explain, but you know it when you've experienced it for sure.

Regarding the one guy she thought was a standout in college, has she said exactly what it was that made him the favorite?

 

He was the only one who really seemed interested in pleasing her.

 

Finding someone who has the same energy as you. The right person can blow your mind without even touching you, they understand you, they know what you want before you do, they ready you better then anyone.
You can work as hard as you want to make it better but if your into different things it can really hard to get to the point of good sex.

 

Makes all the difference in the world...

 

For me, (I'm a guy) the best sex is when the woman demonstrates that she WANTS you. She doesn't make sex with you seem like a chore or a task she has to endure. She learns what things turn you on - and does them / wears them freely. But the main thing is that she MAKES YOU FEEL WANTED - desired. I'll do ANYTHING to pleasure a woman sexually - and I don't rush through lovemaking. I firmly believe if both guy and woman make the effort to KNOW what the other likes, and DO THAT for them - sex becomes more lovemaking than just the mechanics of the acts. It's loving and nurturing each other, to get the most out of the physical sensations ........ as well as the "warm fuzzies" that complete the emotional connection.

 

UGH you said it Jane

 

I think so.

 

Snarky answer is practice. The real thoughtful concept is connection. There is a reason that many men feel attracted to highly orgasmic women. They feel powerful to have wrought this reaction. Really good acting is also effective, where bad acting or mechanical indifference is a turn off. To feel wanted, desired, even needed is a big part of the chemistry that couples often loose later in life. It is what the home wrecker used to take her prize. It is why too many men fail. The married man who is lackluster in bed finds new stamina with his new hungry flame. I am pleased to say that I have settled into agreement with my wife's interests.

I think that too many folks think that getting a divorce will somehow turn back the clock and return them to their pre marriage selves.

If you wish to rekindle the fire with a man show desire. If you wish to stoke the fire in your woman, meet her needs (emotionally, financially, and sexually, her needs, which can mean space, or less frequently - quality over quantity)

Out dated gender issues and generalities aside those are my observations.

I worked at a gentlemen's club in my youth as a D.J. I noticed that the best tips went to the girls who seemed to be having the most fun, not the most beautiful or pretty. Guys just preferred to be in the company of women who wanted to be with them and were having fun.

 

Attraction. When you each look down (or up depending on position) and think "I can't believe he/she choose me." That's good sex. Add in experience in knowing what the other enjoys and that's great sex.

 

Willingness and enthusiasm make best sex . I love my partner communicate with me and tell what she wants more and how she want . There are very few women sex partner demand most of them just lay like pillow with hole. Many are refused to do women on top at all .

 

To me its intensity between the two people. It starts with a hunger for her and only her. Its looking into her eyes and seeing that she is in the moment with me. Seeing in her eyes that im giving her what she needs. Its animalistic in a way. Its talking to each other and letting your guard down sexually with them. Its not holding back.

 

Being with the right person
Sexually, and just the person, having an attraction, a desire and a liking for each other.

I experienced sex as sex, without feeling a connection
And I experienced sex as reason to be with someone but there was more than that when being together. Not love but something that makes you want to be with that person again, not be selfish, make the other want to see you again.

Just sex alone sometimes is enough but often it is not.
That’s a good answer to the question

 

What makes good sex good?
Answer: simply put… The right partner.
My wife and I have an active sex life that includes others in our bed. We are deeply devoted in our relationship to each other. We have intimate sex just between each other on a routine basis. This part is not shared.
We also have sex for our health. Just like diet and exercise, and we talk about sex daily.
When we have sex with others it’s “just sex”, that’s all. But, it does enhance our already great sex life.
We view sex as means of fulfilling sexual tension and desires, and my wife understands her role as a woman and what her body is for. If I need her, she makes herself available to me. When she needs me, I am there for her, and I understand my role as a husband and doing my best to satisfy her sexual needs and when she says she needs more , I gladly understand. We practice “Compersion” and the joy it brings our relationship, again it’s just sex.

 

What can make good sex good is not being inhibited and willing to fully immerse yourself in the sex; having a sense of adventure and being with partners who also have that sense of adventure. Sometimes, it's the person or it can be the setting and having the ability to be in the moment. Still, "good" is eye of the beholder stuff; it's purely subjective and based upon one's own experiences, so there's no one real answer to the question.

 

That’s one major thing, not being inhibited

 

Indeed, it is, and the sad part is that so many people are inhibited and unable to let go of them so that they can enjoy sex without being restrained by whatever things are inhibiting them. It's why some people partake of some hair of the dog because of alcohol's ability, as a CNS depressant, to pretty much remove one's inhibitions - but drunk or impaired sex isn't always good sex and some folks, with their inhibitions removed, are not nice people, let alone someone you'd want to have sex with.

 

Amen. I didn’t like sex with my ex when she got drunk. A bit of a hang up of my own growing up with alcoholic parents