What Is Your Mental Illness

And how did you get diagnosed?

I have no fucking idea what is wrong with me. But, I'm pretty sure I'm mentally ill with something.

Edit*
I forgot the question mark. Sorry!

 

Your first step would be to seek a psychologist. Then it could be many months of meetings before they diagnose you or refer you to someone who can. Have you taken any online tests? Those can be good to give you a rough idea if you are answer them honestly.

I've been friends with some truly mentally ill people. Like schizophrenic believing voices in the head and that everyone is out to poison them even friends. I think a lot of people who say they are mentally ill just have lots of anxiety and stress. Those should not be marginalized they are serious. But unless you are having issues like I mentioned I think you have less to worry about. It's not really the same level of mental issues. Which means it will be much easier to treat.

 

Oh, I've done the whole seeking professional help thing. It's not like I haven't tried. It's just I haven't had much luck with mental health services.

Also, you didn't answer the question... what mental illness do you have? It doesn't have to be extreme. They are all mental illnesses.

 

I would not call it an illness but some sure would. I have mild asbergers. I know it's mild because my time around other people with it makes me wonder if I seem that clueless to nurotypical people. Not to be mean but some of these people have zero concept of personal hygiene or how to have basic conversation. So that makes it an illness to some people.

 

How were you diagnosed?

It's funny how there are so many movies and shows about people with Asperger's. These characters always are geniuses, know how to have a basic conversation, they're fairly hygienic, etc. I understand that there is a wide spectrum for Asperger's. But, seriously... all the characters are the same, and they seem well-adjusted. It doens't even look like anything is wrong. Basically, the show or movie doesn't really convey how difficult it is to have Asperger's. It is a developmental disorder after all, so there will be issues. Something will be wrong.

 

About 20 months ago I think it was, I had a pretty bad horse riding accident that left me with 3-4 broken ribs, shoulder busted in 6 places, broken elbow and a broken wrist.

I'd always dealt with some depression symptoms but over the course of the first few months after the accident I started to get really low after reading some things online I finally decided to see a doctor about some things especially since one of my sisters was diagnosed with bipolar.

We went through questionnaires and some phone calls and eventually off to see another quack where I was diagnosed also with bipolar and depression.

So we took all the pamphlets and things to take home and read and I really think just reading helped me to understand myself a lot but not just me, what I managed to understand was, just exactly why my father was like he was. Now growing up you take things away from your parents like certain traits and as I grew older, was almost like a, like father like son thing going on though more like, like father like tomboy daughter.

Anyhoo after reading and reading and talking to my sister, we also think he would suffer from bipolar but my daddy is all "keep it to myself don't tell anyone" kinda guy, he goes through the moods but doesn't think much of it. That's life to him.

So now I deal with fluctuating mood swings constantly and although they are constant, they are not predictable and almost anything can set my moods off. From just a slight annoying noise can have me from on top of the world to just really aggravatingly pissed off in less than a second.

The doctors have told me that my creativity is a trait all too well known with bipolar people and as the "mania" which I think was my moods swing up and down, I can literally go from artistic fun creations to I hate the world extremely quickly.

I also suffer from what I would call moderate to severe social anxiety but I've never seen anyone for that and instead the last two years with me getting into my billiard hobby, I've pushed myself to do things I normally wouldn't do like I just had to meet new people, new places, new customs etc.

As for the depression and bipolar, I had a good think about it and decided to not try and treatment and instead just continue on living like I always had. I don't like reading the stories of medication changing who people are. I've simply decided to remain as myself.

If I'm happy I'm happy and if I'm sad I'm sad. If I'm angry I'm angry, high, low, inbetween it doesn't matter to me because it's me and I don't want drugs changing who I am. My friends, family and partner all support me and love me for me, I won't change that.

Admittedly though I can deal with the moods and bipolar but I feel depression worsening every year as I quest to live my life exactly the way I want it, I think sooner than later I will need to sort it out.

Until then I just go about my business however I go about my business. Music helps an enormous amount for me, but it too can be the catalyst of a mood swing.

I also think that extremely drawn or charged to positive and negative energies. If someone around me isn't in a good mood I can feed from the negativity until I'm an absolute **** of a person to be around and you know what the worst part of it is to me? That I know it and cannot stop it.

Like when I really hit the low and my answers are snappy the alligator type one word answers and I know I'm hurting someone being in that mood I just can't snap it.

I tell my close folks, you just have to let me get through this and if I'm quiet or non responsive right now please give me room and space, I will turn it around I promise. And I do.

I can say without fail that smoking marijuana has an extremely positive vibe about it, a minute after a smoke, can wash my negative mood right away and my depression as my mind stimulates with positivity. I find myself to be a very negative person when I'm off weed, something I've tried to to lessen recently but I can't help it. I don't know where I got that from. It hurts me as a person to know that and not be able to rectify that issue.

 

I went to a clinic that specialized in autism. I spent two days taking a bunch of tests then they said I had it. That's the problem nothing seems like it's wrong but it is. It's like everyone just knows these unspoken rules in a language you do not speak. When you don't know the language or rules people assume you are doing it on purpose.

 

I was going to therapy, but I stopped because it was generalized therapy. So, the type of therapy in which a theraprist ask how your day is and you talk about your daily problems. I don't think that's the type of therapy I need. I need something that will test me, both intellectually and emotionally. Maybe even neurologically.

I think I either have borderline personality disorder or a low level of Asperger's. And I wish I can go somewhere where I can get specialized testing, particularly for those things. But, whenever I seek mental health services... they are so fucking general. I don't fucking have depression, or those other general mental illnesses. Something else is wrong.

It fucking pisses me off. I'm never going to find out what is wrong.

 

I'm a negative person too. For the longest time, I kept insisted that I was a realist. But, people kept telling me that I was a negative person, so I just gave up and decided to identity myself as a negative person, but I didn't think that's particularly a bad person to be. I don't think people with a different temperament other than positive should be scolded for having that temperament. Not everyone will be a positive, bubbly person, and that's fine. The only reason why all other temperaments are frowned upon is because being positive is the popular temperament. Being positive has just as many advantages and disadvantages than being negative, or any other temperament in between.

As for weed, I think you already know my thoughts on that. It doesn't help me for shit. I just feel high. If I want to feel high, then I smoke weed, but there is no other reason.

Shit, about your accident.

 

I've read your posts a lot and I always thought we may have been akin in some ways. I'm all good from the accident now. Got metal plates, pins, staples and everything else. Just getting ready for the robotic revolution and I'm halfway there.

Sometimes I think that, it's just the age we live in now where people are anlot more comfortable with expressing their disabilities and disadvantages and well I don't know figures, but seems like almost everyone has something about them that I'm starting to fell like these ordinary folks that walk around with nothing wrong, I think they're the ones with the disorders lol. They've got the ordinary boring disorder, we all gotta deal with shit.

 

Yea, there are a lot of people on Youtube that openly talk about their mental disorder. And I'm just sitting there wondering how the fuck they got diagnosed with said disorder in the first place. Like I said I always end up with a generalized diagnosis, and generalized treatment. I know something is wrong, and it's more specified.

 

.....people with the really bad disorders and mental illnesses DO NOT go on you-tube ....they are family members and parents and friends who struggle with real issues....you wana know why you get general shit?....because you don't have a serious mental disorder and the health system needs to be dedicated to the people who really need it.....stop pretending you are deserving of hundreds of thousands of dollars in services when you don't really need them

do you know how fucking hard it is to get a really sick kid some help?....and you people pepper your post with the word ''mild'' makes me wanna puke....fuck off with your ''mild''


here is how you get a diagnosis

start with defiance disorder and do a lot of fucked up shit

and then....

a judge sends you to a shrink for a 3 day evaluation because of all the messed up shit you do plus they have tapes of you in the mental ward...also put there by a judge for all the fucked up things you do


you wanna diagnosis?..go fuckin randomly do some really strange crime shit and don't stop doing it until you make it to the top of the crazy food chain...the mental ward



sorry for the rant but I have ''mild'' asshole syndrome

 

I keep getting general diagnosis' because general therapy, psychology, and psychiatry is what is most accessible to me. I don't know where to go and who to see to have specified testing and treatment.

 

Also, some of these people on Youtube have schizophrenia, and other serious mental disorders. Sure, they might be lying to get a lot of views, therefore money. But, some might be telling the truth.

 

I'm no longer mentally ill, though in the past I've suffered from both depression & also psychosis. In both cases I was either oblivious to the fact that I had a major problem or I was in denial of it, though in both cases I eventually saw sense & self-referred & got treatment..

 

now I feel way better...thank you

next time I need help with dealing with some-ones psychotic melt down I will be sure to pull up you-tube and watch some videos

find some other group to become a member of...you don't want in this club...it is horrible

 

I've had anxiety basically my whole life. I've never gotten a diagnosis, dont want to take medication for it so I don't see a point in going to the doctor. But I don't need a doctor to tell me what this gnawing fear and dread is.

It comes and goes, i've figured out ways to control it but I still go through periods where it overwhelms me.

I've developed some OCD tendencies to control anxiety but I know I dont have OCD, I have a friend who has been diagnosed with OCD and I'm not that bad.

But I do have a cleaning routine I do every single night and I have to make sure things are in a very specific place before I go to bed, doing this ritual soothes me and I get upset if I cant do it.

Also i've suspected for a couple of years that I might be on the autism spectrum, very mild autism , after reading how it manifests in females differently than males. But I dont care about that, the qualities that make me suspect that have made my life somewhat difficult for as long as I remember but I also like those qualities and that they make me different from most people.

I dont actually consider any of this true mental illness though. Who doesnt have anxiety in this day and age?

 

Why do you assume we are all suffering from some sort of psychological malady?

And why do you think you have one too?

It has been my experience that most people who think this are, in reality, about half as crazy as they think they are. LOL

Cheers.

 

I started with insomnia until almost exactly this happened. The pill pile on.

[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UnJ4H8JLmM[/media]


I have nothing nice to say about psychiatry. Worst mistake of my life going near them.