What is more important, sex or being liked?

I didn't know where to turn to, so I thought I'd ask here.

I've been on my own for about a year and a half. So far it isn't that bad. I have lots of friends, I get to eat what I want now, and people appreciate the skills I have.

Only problem is, that sex and dating is like war! I thought since I was an experienced lover it would help me, but it's the exact opposite. Girls my age say I'm too much like a girl to date, older women are downright abusive when I try and date them. Every woman I've been with since leaving home says I satisfy them better than just about anybody has. But the girls I have sex with don't want to date, and the girls that want to date don't want to have sex. Why do they make everything so hard? And I am not having nearly the amount of sex I am used to, only once every few weeks!

Until about a month ago. When I met my boyfriend. He likes having sex with me. He is kind and fun and a genuinely nice person. It's just I've never really enjoyed gay sex. I don't mind, but it isn't something I have ever done because I like it. I do it because I like the person. And while my boyfriend is nice I think he knows I am in it for the affection.

But I got an offer to go home in a month. Which means sex and relationships I understand. But I won't be happy with anything else. So I don't know what to do, have a like I enjoy and not have the sex or relationships I like or vice versa.

 

Neither

 

Sorry, this is unrelated to your question, but what do you mean "you get to eat what you want"?

And I am not sure if this is you or not, but weren't you raised in a commune or something similar? I think you just need more time to adjust to the "normal" dating world, which can be challenging to navigate even for folks who were raised in it. You've got time, just enjoy the learning process when you can.

 

Now that I am on my own I choose what I want to eat. If I want junk food I can have it. It's no longer about what the group is having for dinner, I get to choose for myself.

Yeah, I was raised in a different community. Sex and dating were much easier, it was just part of life. Sex is a healthy activity that keeps people happy and mentally stable. I understand that norms are different here, but even the sex (when I do have it) is more like a fight.

 

in my experience, i'm well liked but nobody wants to have sex with me. and it kind of sucks. so i'm going to say sex for the win.

that answer is just based on the title question. i'm really not sure what the rest of your post is asking.

 

Let me put it another way,

"Would you rather have a life you like and no sexual or romantic relationship, or a romantic relationship you at least understood and a life you don't like?"

 

Some chicks you wanna know their game and others you dun wanna know their name.

 

well obviously it's better to like your life. what's the point of a relationship if you're unhappy anyway?

 

why do you think women think you're like a girl to date?

Do you think it has something to do with giving up the foods you like because you're in a relationship? I mean, not solely that, but in general do you find that you change yourself to suit the other person when you're dating, that you give in too easily and dont stand up for yourself?

Thats what really jumped out at me.

Grow a backbone and do you, boo.

I think the fact that you think being in a relationship means having a life you dont like supports my thesis .

 

I personally believe liking/loving yourself first and foremost is what's really important.

 

For a minute I misread "Liked" -
Anywho, for me:-
SEX = A physical act of indulgence - for the moment
LIKED = An individual choice of enjoyment - for a period of endurance
I guess it depends if one wishes to be fulfilled short term, or popular for a longer duration

 

You misunderstand. The food thing was referring to how I live now compared to the community I grew up in. Which is the change I was referring to. Either staying here where I like everything about my life, or going back to the community I lived in.

I don't change myself in any way for a relationship. I'm more like a girl because I was raised in a matriarchal community. I'm told I even kiss like a girl.

 

It also helps greatly with getting laid.

 

I would go for the girls who prefer you as a friend, but concentrate on those who you would enjoy a physical relationship with.
All that they are saying, is they don't enjoy casual sex and that is exactly what everyone would prefer in a long term partner. Once you win a girl like that over, you will not have to worry that every time she starts chatting to another guy, they are about to jump into bed.

 

I see your dilemma. If I were you I think I would settle for like without sex. Sex just isn't that important, at least not to me, or at least it shouldn't be. That said, it's definitely a nice perk!

 

Sex, especially from a woman that doesn't really like me but is ok with having sex with me

 

Yep I find that if I'm happy with me, that shows with women. And then I find that when a woman likes me, the sex usually is pretty good. For my females they have always been the sex starts in the head type.

 

Insecurity can be a turn on. Its how someone deals with it. Too insecure (or in a broader sense 'too' anything is not good) is indeed a turn off. A person being too secure can feel a little alien as well lol. But generally more attractive (certainly at first instance) than too insecure.
Being able to relate to eachother helps being liked.

 

Not a helluva lot is making sense.
"Sex or being liked"....uh....both. If you can't have both, then neither.

 

This actually makes no sense. Why choose neither if you can have one of the options.