I have a good friend who lives in California, and I live in Texas. I met him when I lived with my dad in California my sophomore year of high school. We clicked immediately, started hanging out a lot, soon the friendship started drifting into relationship territory, though we never made it "official" because I was probably going to go back to Texas at the end of the year. Which I did. We maintained a completely platonic friendship for 5 years after that. Two months ago, I realized that I had been lying to myself and shoving my real feelings about this person deep down into the back of my mind. Sure, we remained good friends, but we never quite resolved what happened there. The only reason we cut off the relationship stuff was simply because I moved back to Texas, not because of any reason pertaining to our personalities or lifestyles. I realized the way I feel about him isn't much different at all from how I felt when I could see him on a daily basis. I decided to go to California to visit my family and my good friend. I talked to him about all this stuff, and he told me that honestly, he didn't feel any different about me either. Reality came to the surface. If we lived within a reasonable proximity to each other, sure, we would probably be in a relationship; it was a mutual conclusion. But we are not in a relationship. It's not possible. I live in Texas, he lives in California. But that put an interesting spin on things. Only emotion, no rules. We kissed for the first time in 5 years, and it felt amazing. We lost our virginity to each other on that trip. It was amazing, nothing awkward, nothing strange, just happiness, pleasure, fun. The whole thing felt so natural for us. It changed things between us, sure, but moreover it brought things out that were already there, but kept secret. It was quite freeing, really. We became okay with looking in each other's eyes and exchanging feelings of caring, with complimenting each other, subtle touches, exchanges of affection. We could be almost completely honest and open with each other in a way that had not been possible before. But now I'm back in Texas, and all these feelings are making a mess in my brain. I talked to my mom about all this. She has a crazy intuition for these sorts of things. She somehow already knew this was going to happen, way before I did. She started talking about my situation as though I am in a relationship with him, so I said to her, we aren't in a relationship. She said to me, "Are you sure about that?" Her saying that triggered a memory. At one point during my trip, me and my friend decided to get busy in the back of his car. Stupidly, we got caught by a damn cop. Thankfully though the cop showed up before any clothing came off so it ended up being no biggie. But when the cop was questioning my friend, he asked, "So are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?" My friend replied by saying, "something like that." I never quite figured out what to think or feel about that. I still don't know. Now I'm just insanely confused. I feel like I don't know what is going on in this situation. I'm not sure about any of this. No rules, just emotion. I'm not sure how to operate that way. I want to make sense of this but I just can't figure it out.
You want to make sense of things... Are you a Virgo by any chance? lol xD Well, joke aside..... I personally think you're very fortunate that this guy at least lives in the same country as you do. My partner and I live 5000 miles apart, in completely different countries, and yet we're still in a relationship because, like you guys, progressing into the romantic realm felt so natural that we didn't even realize it at first. Relationships like that, you don't really come across that often I think. I think what you need to do is to figure out whether or not this thing you two share is worth getting yourselves into a long distance situation for. Well, temporarily of course. Long distance relationships are challenging but not impossible if the two parties are meant to be together. Plus, it also helps that he lives in the state your family also lives in as well. Provided that you and your family are maintaining a good relationship - which you so far sound like you are - that should give you more flexibility in terms of accommodation and whatnot when visiting their state. That's a definite plus in my opinion. But ultimately, you two should gradually close the distance between you, should you choose to make it an official relationship. My relationship isn't "official" at the moment per se, but we pretty much treat it like it already is, anyway. It just feels natural for us to be committed to each other. And we're not questioning our special bond, and we know our relationship will go far. Someone has once said, "love knows no distance".
It's simple. When you arrive in this world, emotion and reactions is all you got. You haven't learned language or titles/labels of things yet. It's how we all are as babies, and the way I see it is that is our "inner self" the thoughts opinions and feelings that drive us BEFORE titles (boss, boyfriend, girlfriend). If the inner self wants ___, then the language or label of a boyfriend or girlfriend or w/e needs to be applied and a verbal confirmation should be used to just cement the emotional understanding that both parties are on the same page. Now there are logistics to this, like a long distance thing, but if the emotions and drive are there it's gonna happen. I would consider moving to California, because I think it's harder to move back to California than it is vice-versa because of property value differences, and other logistical reasons, if say the relationship ultimately doesn't work out. But that's my two cents.
