What do you do when your partner is done with sex?

When your spouse is done with sex, what do you do for sexual satisfaction? Do you have a hall pass for sex, handle things yourself, or ?

 

For starters, you are not alone.
There are more sexless marriages than you think. I was in one for well over 10 years. We divorced, and I have since remarried with a MUCH better sex life.
For me, I cheated on the marriage way back. Was it wrong? Yes, but understandable. I didn't do it again because I did not want to risk losing my kids. So I stayed marriage until they were in college.
To your question, after that I was heavily into porn/masturbation. After a couple years of that I was bored with it. I went on to some sex chat forums, but that didn't last for very long...too many fakers and idiots. And then I basically accidentally discovered a cam2cam site where there were "rooms" of up to 4 people. I had no idea prior to that day I would find a thrill in being watched while masturbating. Huge turn on. Huge. That was several-several years ago. Can't tell you how many times I have done it, many...it is a lot of fun and you can interact with people.
Overwhelmingly guys though, obviously.

 

Sometimes my wife is just not in the mood to fuck or be licked but she is very generous with a hand job about every 4 days of so.

 

That is a serious problem what needs to be discussed. I was in a sexless marriage and got severe headaches. Whenever there is such a grave differrence on any subject it MUST be talked about.

 

It is a problem that effects a great many people.
This isn't the only forum I am in now, and i have been in many before it going back to the old chat rooms of the early 90's.
And I can tell you there are a LOT more sexless marriages than one would think.

 

shoot me a link

 

As I have posted before what I do when I desire satisfaction is a number of things. There is the option of other women, masturbation, or abstinence. The latter isn't going to happen for many years to come. My spouse knows and consents to my having sex with other women occasionally. I have several partners that are there for sex and sex alone. They know there is nothing else other than sexual fulfillment. Masturbation with and without toys suffice for those in between times when I need relief and those times are aplenty.

 

do like BoB Kraft go for rub and tug

 

They don't exist anymore.
Forums, like this one, took over chat rooms years ago. The first forums I can remember were in the late 90's. Chat rooms were around looong before that. the text based VB boards were late 80's - early 90's.

 

orgasmanic.com

 

I joined the forum to reply to this thread. Have been with my wife for nearly 15 years now, married for 10, and 2 young kids.
Sex is practically non existent, maybe once a month if I'm lucky, and nothing more than plain vanilla sex, certainly no oral (though I desperately love giving and receiving).
Feeling very frustrated. Have spoken to her about our lack of sex, and she just brushes it off, saying she's usually too tired (I get tired too, but could always find energy for sex!).
Not sure where to go from here. I'm watching/listening to lots or porn, but need something more. Contemplating having affairs using sex hookup sites, but not sure how good / secret they are, and I'm not sure I'd have the time.
Been thinking a lot about divorce recently, but I couldn't stand to be away from my kids, so like iamjustme, I may have to wait until they go to college, which is about 15 years away. Would prefer to have my wife share my love for sex.

 

My wife slowely withdrew from sex as we aged. It became quite infrequent and very vanilla and non emotional. Now her health is a factor. She knows I need my outlets so she accepts my toys I use, my masturbation which sometimes is with her present. She has recently accepted my wearing of her panties even. I do get an occasional hj or bj from her. I wish she would allow me a hall pass though. I have a few interested in getting together.

 

Bretster, By cutting to the chase with your post I see the frustration within you and your relationship. (that's why I condensed it to pertinent statements you make) I expect she is having issues with her life. Children, home maintenance (laundry, dishes, cooking, etc), and then here you are wanting her to service you. I suspect there is something wrong medically with her body. Menopause, hormone imbalance, something that only she can seek assistance with solving. Since you stated after the divorce thought your preference of her continuing to be sexual with you I don't think you really want to separate. Bottom line is this is not where you need to be for advice. Find a good therapist for you to talk to. In my marriage we sought psychological therapy many times to overcome misconceptions about each other. This way we open up and come to an agreement that we both can live by. We are very happily married and deeply in love.

Dare, You have it right. Health plays a huge role in the desire for sex in both men and women. It usually effects women earlier in life than men but we all have issues as we age. Her acceptance of your fetishes tells me she may be open to more. At least she is trying to participate in your sex life with occasional assistance. Talk with her about your desires further. You might be surprised to learn that she gets turned on by your panty fetish. Broach the subject of a "hall pass" with her gently. Having you in her life is her security blanket. You will have to assure her safety and security before she will accept you being sexual with other women. BTW, go get your own panties to wear. Take her with you and have some fun shopping for them. You never know where it may lead.

 

Thanks Barry. My wife has pretty much went along with any of my desires. Her intent still is there but like I said her health is now the issue. When I disclosed my wearing of her panties she was all good with it. Numerous times since then she has handed me another pair for me to wear. Asks me if I need any panties washed on wash day. She even mentioned the two of us going panty shopping some day. Im sure if I brought up a hall pass she would ok if if it was someone she didn't feel threatened by but Im not sure if im all into it mentally. I'd need to work up to it

 

Very serious with 2 kids involved. It will take some balls but when the kids are asleep sit down and tell her we have a very serious problem.

"Sex is not only a large part of MY life but also has to do with my mental and physical health. If you enjoy my well being and my company we need to resolve this issue. When I get super horney I begin to imagine myself with someone who is willing to have sex with me . I always hope that is you but I don't know how much longer I can endure. Please tell your feelings on OUR issue and exactly where you stand and some advice on what I should do if you choose to remain sexless."

 

Agree with the above post. You must get to bottom of the problem. My wife and I are monogamous and have very high level of respect for our “individual” sex life. Sex is healthy, and I don’t mean by artificial means. Human contact is primal and natural.

 

If my wife get cum and reach orgasm, but I always erect in her pussy. She will put it out and do blowjob to cum and make me feel comfortable.

 

I call his Buddy!

 

Nice wish I was his buddy

 

He doesn't mind helping a Girl out when she needs a hand!

 

Same situation but even less sex with my wife.
I'm not done and hope to fix the situation on day. I contribute quite a lot to chores and take care of the children and hope she will rest and relax.
Meanwhile if I'm back on the forums it's clearly because I desperately lack sex in my life : having sex, talking sex, thinking sex hoping for sex... I wish I could get laid by someone but at the same time want to keep the mariage going... And here I am

 

My girl tells me all the time to bring some young cuetty home so I could do the acrobatics with that I"ve done when we were younger. She said she would watch and rub one out while she watched. I tell her to bring home some fat dicked dude and I will not only watch but help out because I am a handyman, but neither of us will ever go for it. IMO it will totally screw up the dynamics of our relationship.

 

Actually quite incredibly just after having posted here we had (great) sex last night!
Thanks HF for the good karma!

 

For some intercourse is just not in the ream of possibility. Seems like the only caring option is to give the partner who can a green light to have a FWB.