Well, I've already been doing my research about low libido, etc, but what I am here to ask is, what do women who don't have libido problems normally feel, especially when they've been in a relationship for years? For instance, when it is time to play with your partner, do you feel "horny?" Do you get those twinges down below in anticipation? Do you get horny when you look at porn or erotic images? Do you fantasize about screwing desireable men (or women) when you see them? Do you get horny and feel the need for release just because it's been awhile since you've had sex? I guess I'm wondering if healthy women are more like men when it comes to all of this! I've read posts in other forums from women who talk about being horny and I'm wondering if they are more on the high end of the spectrum or are they in the middle? I'm sure on the low end, feel almost asexual, but I WANT to be able to desire sex and feel those twinges, get horny. My husband and I even began entertaining swinging, met with a couple, husband was really cute and I did get a little twinge when he smiled at me in a hot way, but when it came time to play, I really felt very little, no build up for orgasm. I can orgasm with A LOT of effort, even multiples, but I would say the quality is not what it was when I was 20. Feels good as it happens but not enough to make me want more and more. I don't get turned on by erotica, well slightly when I first started reading 50 Shades, but as I kept reading more books, my responsiveness fell off to zero. Porn does nothing for me. I can see good looking bodies, male and female, and think "gorgeous" but not wish I could fuck them! Believe me, I've opened myself to the idea of being bi or lesbian and nothing is there, either! I'm in menopause but this has been a problem for a long time. I'd been on antidepressants much of my life, as well as BCPs since I was 19, and I am 49 now! I went off the antidepressants and BCPs last year but not a lot changed. Well, I should back track and say that going off coincided with my opening my mind to swinging, that maybe getting to play with new male bodies after 19 years of being with my husband might be enthralling. But, I'm back to not really caring one way or the other. I am going to get my hormones checked, finally, today, and I just began a gluten free diet because I read that doing that brought back desire for some. I guess I just want to know what women feel like, those who don't perceive themselves having libido problems.
Have you tried incorporating foods and scents around the home that traditionally increase sex drive in women? (Cucumbers (no pun), musk scents)? Also it's very possible that being on antidepressants for so long has lessened your brain's wiring to be receptive to arousal, to a point where a sex therapist might be needed for you and your relationships with a specific focus on the side effects of undoing damange done by anti-depressants. The brain is plastic afterall and like any muscle it needs flexing otherwise it tends to prune neuron connections.
