What do guys think about Waiting Til Marriage

So, I'm a 30 year old Christian female and I have decided to wait until marriage before engaging in sex. My question is "What guys might think about this"?

I came to this decision due to my religious beliefs and personal conviction. Although I am a very religious person, I am also a rather logical thinker (I'm actually a scientist) and I can see how most people may not understand why I've come to this decision. I'm not some asexual being and although I have yet to engage in the act my list of to do's is as numerous as the kama sutra.

So if anyone out there could help enlighten me as to what might be going through a guys head when I tell them I'm waiting for marriage I would appreciate it. Would it be a complete turn-off? Am I painting a target on myself?

 

There was a news story this week about a couple in Michigan with 13 sons, trying for a girl with their 14th. My first though was, jeezus, married or not religous convictions or not, you dont get to 14 kids if you dont like sex.


Yes, I think you are at the asexual end of the spectrum, up to 21, 23 even, guys might buy its about your religious convictions, but at 30 nooooo.

Theres also the other side of it, if you can also resist making little bundles of cuteness up until now, you are also on the other end of that spectrum compared to this Michigan woman.

Remember, you asked for opinions, i hear stuff like this, and I just assume you are hiding behind religion a little bit

 

I'm a non-religious guy in a relationship with a non-religious girl. I'm in my early 40's, still a virgin though I've done oral, my girlfriend is also a virgin in her early 20's with some experience in oral sex like myself. I have not had intercourse yet not because I want to wait till marriage but because I want to wait until the right girl(my girlfriend) and I are in the right moment to do so, and she hasn't had intercourse for the same reason.

For me, I could wait if that's what my partner really wishes. However, religion would be the deal breaker in my case due to my own non-religious lifestyle. I'm spiritual, though.

 

Ok, i have to ask the question.....

How do you know thats true?

You are male, and you made it to 40 without having sex, because you "want to meet the right girl".

Say that to any other guy here, and Im sure in real life, and 99% of us are wondering.

How is that even possible?

You are definately in a 1% zone man, are you sure you even know why?

 

What guys think about this in general I have no idea. I also think it's a really stupid idea to ask this kind of question on an online forum.

But you asked and here it is: I think it's the stupidest thing you can do. And you have no real reason to do it. Other than some old book full of nonsense.

Nope. You didn't come by that stuff of your own accord. Someone drilled it into your head. If you had grown up in the jungle without indoctrination you'd probably be fucking like a bunny. Why? Because it's FUN. And because there was nobody there to tell you otherwise.

So you have a bucket list already, you wench? Been itching to do the nasty for a long time, did ya? That is one of the biggest problems with all that repressed religious nonsense. And then people wonder why there are so many cases of sexual abuse in the catholic church.

A turn-off? Well, seeing as you are 30 already and apparently haven't been able to find a guy to marry you I would say that up to now nobody needed it badly enough to stick around until the ceremony. But in order to really find out you'd have to ask THEM. Every single one of them.

A target? Could be. There's always nutcases out there. But I'd guess no more than any other woman.

To conclude: don't get me wrong, you can do whatever you like. Your body, your choice.

Just do it for the right reasons.

 

So, what exactly is the question?

Are you doubting the authenticity of my claim that I'm still a virgin at 40+? Or are you asking me HOW I've been able to remain a virgin all this time? Or, are you asking why my girlfriend is still a virgin, and how I know the reason why she still is?

If you're asking me if I'm even telling the truth, I can only say that I have absolutely no way of proving that, especially via the internet. It's up to you whether you believe me or not. If you're asking me HOW I've maintained my virginity, then I've talked about this many times on various threads. If you're asking me about my girlfriend, then the best answer I can give you is that she was a virgin when she and I met, and when we were physically together, there were some things that got in the way of losing our virginity, and thus she remained a virgin and as did I.

Or, maybe you're asking a completely different question. Let me know if I answered your question man.

 

As a guy, i think it is perfectly fine if you wish to wait until marriage. Take your time and make sure this is the person you really want to marry.

Good luck.

 

So you waited until your forties to find a girl 20 years younger than you who is also still a virgin? I think to make this fair you should be betrothed to a fifty-something spinster librarian. I can actually picture you trying to deal with the cobwebs.

Seriously, though: what is it about sticking a dick in a pussy that makes it so fucking traumatic and overly important. You're telling us that you won't have penetration sex but it's ok that you lick her pussy and she sucks your dick. I'm guessing that's because you're both horny as hell. She because the teen hormones are still raging, you because you went decades waiting to get some.

Jaysus people, having sex is not that difficult and even if you botch it the first time you can always try again. Just don't overthink that stuff by a million miles.

 

I've been in a number of relationships so far, so it's not like I waited for my current girlfriend knowing she'd be the one. No, it's not like that. I only remained a virgin simply because the past relationships would end before we got to actually engage in intercourse.

The prior longest one was during my early 20's, and lasted for roughly two and a half years, but this girl was very sexually timid. I had no problem waiting until she was ready. But by the time she was starting to give the intercourse a more serious thought, I was no longer sure about where the relationship was headed in terms of how we were interacting and how intellectually and emotionally compatible we were. So I told her I wasn't ready for it. I didn't want to have sex with her and taking her virginity if there was a possibility that the relationship might end soon afterward. I wanted to make sure we could have a lasting relationship first, because at that point, we were arguing a lot and things were not headed in a good direction. We couldn't fix it in the end, and we broke up. I remember feeling I'd made the right choice by not having intercourse with her.

The other relationships in my past ranged from a few weeks to a few months. Now, those were long distance relationships and they ended before intercourse could happen. I will also say that there were long periods between those relationships where i remained single and not necessarily looking.

With my current relationship, also a long distance one, things were a bit more complicated. We actually thought we'd lose our virginity during one summer when I visited her in her country, but there were situations that got in the way of that. And it's our first time, I for one didn't want to do it in a haste manner at a not so appropriate location. So we didn't have sex. No big deal, I'm going to visit her again this year so we're obviously optimistic about it.

 

That sounds too friggin complicated to even contemplate. It seems, though, that in the first example the relationship broke because the two of you couldn't make it work physically.

You sure make things hard on yourself with all that long distance stuff. But please don't tell me about hasty manner and appropriate location. If it's good enough for oral, it's good enough for dick-in-pussy.

 

Well, each person perceives the first time sex differently. You might not see it the way I do, and that's fine. But I'm sure there are others who can relate to my stance on it. The long distance thing just happens to me, and I'm okay with it. It can be difficult, there's no doubt about that. But at least my partner and I are happy in this relationship, and that's what matters.

As far as the second longest relationship I was in, the reason why the relationship didn't work was because she and I didn't have compatible personalities in the end. It had nothing to do with sex.

 

Whatever works for you. Don't worry about what anyone wants, counter to what you want out of sex and marriage. Find a man who shares the same vision as you. You will be more compatible with that individual.

 

The question I am asking is, Do you yourself understand why you are still a Virgin?

Because reading all that, I dont think you do

 

Yes I do, I'm still a virgin because I've so far said no to all the possibilities where intercourse is concerned.

I don't think that in itself is a problem.

 

As much I'm a virgin myself, I wouldn't be up for it, given how much of a major component part sexual compatibility is in a relationship. Many guys would be put off by it, good luck though

 

I admire your strength in your convictions, but truly, you're missing out on a lot. Sexual compatibility is a big part of marriage, and if you don't know how it's going to work out after marriage, it's a big risk and many marriages fail because of sex - or lack of, anyway. Maybe you can find a guy with a similar mindset, so good luck at that.

 

I am a guy and waited until marriage, although my wife and I dated for seven years before marrying at age 22. She chose not to wait and had sex with other men before we married. Now she says that she wishes she had waited. I'm glad I waited, partly for religious reasons, but mostly because I loved her too much to do anything that might hurt her, including running the risk of getting her pregnant.

 

What might be going through a guys mind: that you don't like sex. I respect that you're waiting immensely and admire your self-control, however personally, I cannot do the same as I have already had sex. If I were really serious with you, and we both wanted marriage then I could see waiting with you.

 

Okay, I’m not a guy but I think this is a horrible idea. It creates an imbalance in power right from the start because your sexuality is for him, not for you. It’s an object for the man and your value as a partner is in part based on the value of that object to the guy.

 

I
Kerri - I like how you think.