What Did They Teach You About Love, Sex, Relationships?

ooh, I guess my mom did teach me to be self sufficient before ever moving in with a man.
I think that's been helpful

 

Yep. That's something sunshine. Very useful.

The things I witnessed discouraged me from trusting my parents, but it meant something much more when they actually said something to me. I repeated those things in my head over and over again.

What all boys want, is sex. I was told that all boys want sex 100% of the time. So I had the idea that anytime a boy was talking to me it was because he wanted sex. It's not that I 100% believed it, but I was paranoid about it. Now I think it was a way to shut me down and keep me from having any interest in boys, but I think it was a very negligent thing to do. What if I'd taken that advice and decided that since that's all boys wanted I should give it to all of them?

 

It is a bad parenting strategy and guys who are "after sex only" know how to disarm that psychological block, I've seen it done when the guy attacks the foundation of an argument of that parenting "firewall" by pointing out probably in truth that it is meant to manipulate the girl...girl doubts parental credibility and the boy undermines everything and sometimes this is the spark that starts what parents see as super rebellious daughter phase...then once this happens and if drugs and sex enter the picture...you get what can happen.

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My parents taught me the value of discipline, personal integrity, and in all types of relationships listening is the MOST important trait and is the foundation of growth, giving advice, discerning good from bad situations in friendships and romance and in business.

I've added my own wisdom about distancing personal reactions from outward stimuli, because I've noticed that humanity has a tendency to make mistakes in what they say or do when they enter a certain "mind state of passion: be it rage, greed, too much faith or hope in a group or individual. I've learned that anger fits don't yield anything useful to the solution of any problem and so problems should be dealt with as soon as identified.

If it's a relationship problems can only be fixed halfway, not by one person. And couples will fight that's normal it's how they resolve issues that will be a key factor if someone is right for you.

I was also given personal stories from both my parent's, hand-me-down stories from what my parents witness their friends deal with at almost every stage of their life. I know who went through abusive relationships, abortions, miscarriage, financial ruin, divorce, common coping mechanisms people use and that if a friend or someone I know seems to shut me out that I shouldn't take it personally necessarily.

I was taught that while it is noble to save others, they must meet you halfway, you can't feel guilt if you try to help them from a bad situation.

Some of the best advice should be given subliminally....or at least let the other person feel as if they came up with the idea. (Kinda like inception)

Be slow to trust others, be always respect others even those who don't like you.

I was told about the birds and the bees and std's and sti's at age 9, and I was given an explanation about religion and how it explained the behavior I witnessed in some of my friend's parents.

Scarily enough my parents predicted with 90% accuracy which of my elementary school friends would get in trouble with the law years later as teens and adults. Just based on patterns they've noticed from experience from their observations of their own childhood friends contrasted to mine.

My parents shunned gender roles and social Darwinist ideas, and taught me that ideology is worthless most of the time because it often leads to tunnel vision for an individual's way of seeing the world. Instead the ability to adapt, and be independent was priceless and no chore was inherently someone's job.

They also thought it stupid about the "men can't cry" philosophy their parents grew up with. Hiding stuff like that from kids makes things worse because they sense it anyway and it doesn't teach them functional coping mechanisms for emotion...which can lead to problems for adults who don't know how to compensate...affecting relationships of all kinds but especially romantic.


They also didn't stray away from teaching me to ask for help when I felt down or needed help emotionally or with a physical injury.


If I had to sum up two words for what my parents parenting style was it would be: Honest Pragmatism

 

I was never taught this, I didn't have a dad around to tell me what boys are really after and my big brother is a strange asexual creature so he never taught me. I didn't realize until I was 25 or so that guys generally interested in sex more than friendship. I bet so many guys from my teenager years and on wrote me off as a friendzoning tease but in reality I was always just really naïve and innocent about a guy's intentions.

your parents weren't really incorrect if we're all being honest here.

 

I disagree I believe they ran and taught her a stereotype, which like all stereotypes originate from a grain of truth, but miss explaining the details.

Because the details aren't covered it leaves the recipient of such teachings a bit vulnerable in my opinion. If you don't explain the details, you haven't taught your child how the devil operates and it keeps one naive.

I don't know about everyone else here, but I think nativity in the modern world is the worst trait to have in the era of internet aliases, spying software, bugs etc.

I'm gonna tell my kids how to spot the signs someone is following them, and not to use public changing rooms or public restrooms without looking for spy cams and the like.