What Are You Doing Right Now Or Tomorrow?

Having brekky.

 

if i decided in advance what i was going to do, that would put a jinx on it and it would never happen.
so i have to kind of surprise myself to get anything done.
oddly enough i can and this works.
also one of the reasons it is easier and happier for me to live by myself.

 

oddly enough, it is only when i am in the presence of human company, that i ever get bored.

i mean i don't generally accuse them of doing this to me deliberately,

its just that being distracted from my own figuring out internally how to impliment my own aesthitic in physical form, is what takes me away from the enjoyment and gratification of doing so.

 

I'm just bored because there is nothing to do and it's too cold to go out. Human company has nothing with my boredom most of the time.
It's a surprise if I see like 1 person a day.

 

Excited because it is Valentine's day and I must spread the love.

 

i've never had "nothing to do" in my own mind. its only other people who distract me from doing it.
i too seldom encounter others, unless i physically go outside, and then i can enjoy riding the bus somewhere,
even if its usually only to go shopping.

i understand people feeling this, i can remember when i was a lot younger that i did.

but really i always have, everything gives me some kind of idea.
i look for things that come close to my own aesthetic,
in pictures on the internet, of different places and kind of things that interest me,
or sometimes riding around on the bus or walking or however i can,
you know i'll see things, and everything i see gives me ideas about things people can build,

and then i always think about ways i could build them.
usually this involves tools i don't have, or a place i could put or even make them,
or it would take more then one person to make or maintain, like infrastructure,
but these kinds of things are always in my mind,
and then of course there's the everyday things that need doing too,
like cleaning and cooking you know, and replacing things you consume all the time,
to keep from running out of them,

so "nothing to do" has been kind of alien to me for a number of decades.

and sometimes when i do have everything i need to make something, i actually do.
and then there's on the computer, which as long as i have that,
then with a 3d program like blender, which is free,
i can always make them inside the computer, which i do at least once a week,
and often more often then that.

and then of course there's the sfx when i close my eyes,
you know, again that's the world of all the things i imagine how to make,
along with the random variations of entropy and weathering that any kind of world comes up with,
and visualizing that in my head, but a world in which maintainence takes place too,
so not everything is rotted, but a population small enough, that most things aren't bigger or more complex then what one person can do.

not enough people to extract oil or coal or print money or anything like that, and mutated from what humans look like now,
because of what is going to happen to the environment because of there being so many people and our priorities are so careless of it now.

so really there's just so much, to even just think about, its only when other people with their empty social conversations or their ideologies,
or what they want me to pretend i know about things that are not know, that distract me from having this all the time complete entertainment,
particapatory gratifying entertainment, going on inside my own head.

 

Eating junkfood and watching the footy.

 

Posting and watching out my window as Storm Dennis approaches.

 

OH MY THIS STORM IS BAD.

 

Tomorrow I am going to London.

 

Watching footy replays and the bushfire relief concert that's on fox8 in Australia.

 

Does this solitary lifestyle suit you? Is it intentional?

 

It suits me for the most part and it is intentional.
I don't like most people so it's good to be away from them.

 

Fair enough. Good answer.

 

masturbating

 

early vote in the nevada democratic primary. if not today, sometime in the next two or three.

 

it's that cat avatar isn't it? turns me on too.

 

Just stopped for a drink in London.

 

You been to a show yet?