What Are The Deciding Factors That Prevent A Friendship From Turning Into A Romantic Relationship?

From my understanding one deciding factor that prevents a friendship from turning into a romantic relationship is the situation at any given point between the parties. For example, the parties are in or are about to be in a romantic relationship with other people, age difference, lack of mental stability or life stability, etc. The next deciding factor, though I don't think there is an order to these factors, is preferences. In this case, preferences are not being met, so the friendship is prevented from turning into a romantic relationship. Preferences such as not having the same religion or lack of religion, if that really exist nowadays, not having particular physical elements that the party finds attractive, not having a similar lifestyle, etc. Lastly or at least the last deciding factor that I can think of is boundaries. The parties have not put themselves or each other in a situation where the boundaries cross between a friendship and romantic relationship. For example, not meeting in private, cuddling or other caresses, talking about sexual topics and if talked about they do so in a group setting in a philosophical sense instead of preferable sense, etc.

What confuses me is when all those deciding factors are not... well, deciding factors, but the friendship never turns into a romantic relationship. What is the deciding factor(s) then?

Is the deciding factor time? Just because at the time of my observation they're not in a romantic relationship that doesn't mean that within the next ten years they won't be. But, then I start to wonder what made the deciding factor not present at that point when the friendship turned into a romantic relationship, when all the time before there was a deciding factor. And I think in saying this I'm also saying that all friendships with no deciding factors eventually turn into romantic relationships, and I don't feel safe making such a claim. Or is the deciding factor false deciding factors? As in they make a phantom situation in order to prevent the friendship from turning into a romantic relationship. For example, claiming that they can't be romantically with this person because the person lives five hours away and that would be a long distance relationship, which they're not interested in. Same goes with phantom preferences and boundaries. However, isn't that still a deciding factor? The other other deciding factor i can think of is simply attraction? Some say that within the first twenty minutes of meeting someone we have already decided what role they will play in our lives, either as a friend or romantic partner. However, how is that possible?

 

I realize its mostly junk science, but there is something to be said for Ladder Theory. http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm

 

From my understanding, that theory mostly explains women's behavior, thoughts, and feelings towards men when seeking out romantic relationships.
That's not really what I'm asking here. But, thanks. It was a nice read.

 

the fact that they are already friends is the deciding factor preventing a romantic relationship. women don't want a relationship with someone they already know; you have to meet them and immediately move in.

of course, the deciding factor preventing most of my friendships from becoming romantic relationships is the presence of a penis on most of my friends.

 

I meant friendships with people of your sexual orientation.

And how does one go about deciding whether or not a person is their friend?

 

Friendships may last a lifetime, whereas relationships may not.

 

I think there's a real sense of chemistry between a relationship and a friendship. There's girls I've crushed over real hard, but when we were together it could be kind of awkward, and not really hit it off. And sure enough we never went further than friends. But just whether you're in a couple or see a couple that is happy, you see that chemistry where they can just keep talking back and forth like on a script

 

Yeah, pieces either fit or they don't.....cannot force it....it does have to flow naturally.....and take its time....
patience and trust
no competition

friends come and go...the ones who stay...now that is something....