What are the chances that she's pregnant?

Look, I get that. And honestly, I want as little to do with her as possible, but as long as there's ANY possibility that she's pregnant and it may be mine, I'm not gonna just sit back and leave all the decisions and circumstances up to her. I'm going to help her as much as I can if it means helping this child. And if worst comes to worst that it's not mine, at least all my stress over being a father can be alleviated and I wont have to be involved with her ever again. But I wont fck up the life of what's mine by staying out of the situation. I'm not that low.

 

Exactly. Look out for the kid.

But don't help her, help the kid.... like, make sure she's eating right, going to doctor visits, all of that sort of thing. Don't end up being an outlet for her behaviours.

Just make sure she understands that she, personally, stands to gain nothing from you, and that having you trapped there will not make her life easier or nicer, but that you are looking to protect your kid from her.

And remember that adoption is still an option.... if you don't press the issue and let her decide that she doesn't want to stick you anymore, and wants to get away from you....

 

I make sure I do my part as much as possible while still being civil and respectful.

 

I commend you OP, for manning up when faced with such a tough situation. It looks like you're heading the right direction. Be sure to keep your temper under control.

You got this bro! Keep us updated

 

Very much, with the temper.

Totally passive manner, whilst simultaneously exercising your pimp hand. Like a baws.

 

you should be present when she takes the test
you shouldnt have told your gf
if preg test is pos
you need a praternity test once baby is born

the fat slob could get a pregnant prsn on internet to get pos results
you have to oversee the test

just cause shes preg dont mean youre the father
a fat oaf in hs must swrew a hundred guys

did you ever wonder if your friends put you up to this to separate you from your gf ?

 

Thank you man. I really appreciate that. It hasn't been a simple week for sure but coming here makes things easier.

 

I keep remembering that my angry state of mind got me in this situation in the first place. That helps during stressful times to remind me of self control. But I really want to do better

 

She's told me various times angrily that she hasn't slept with anyone else. I also asked one of her friends about it in private before we tested and she said the same. But I don't know Bernadette that well. The only time I'd even seen her before this was in the back of my math class, where she was conversing loudly with some of her friends. So i can't know for sure. I don't wanna think back to that night but we didn't wear any protection and i remember there was a lot of ejaculate because it'd been a while. She talked about her cycle and ovolating. I'm not exact on how that works, but she mentioned that made it more likely she was pregnant because her last period was december 29. She's at nine weeks now, which the doctor said she probably concieved anywhere from the week of Jan 6th to the 13th. When we had sex it was the day of the 12th, so that has me nervous. I wish I had a better idea of how likely it is that I'm the father, but as I said and everyone has mentioned, I gotta get a paternity test. That's the only way.

 

You should get one, just because.

But don't have high hopes. It sounds very much like it's you.

 

I was right there when she took all four tests just to make sure everything was done right. I know for sure she hasn't been with a hundred guys, but just one other than me could make things entirely different in the end. I'm hoping, but that doesn't change the reality of the situation now.

My best friend would never do something like that and there's no way he could fake a pregnancy anyway. I havent even told him yet. It's been a hard enough time with that days ago. But he has noticed me talking to Bernadette when we never even glanced at eachother before. School in general has been hard to deal with lately.

 

I'd like to know what on earth made her decide to go through with this pregnancy in the first place. What girl with any common sense wants to have a child with a guy she hooked up with on a 1-night stand!!?? Never mind the fact that she's going to have to raise the child as a single mom, and she's obviously still in school. This just makes no sense to me... but I guess stupid is as stupid does.

It really makes me think that she must be doing all this because she wants something more from you, be that something monetary or her using the child as a way to form a relationship with you.

 

Attention.

Pig, who, from what he's said, likes attention but doesn't know any positive way of getting it, so resorts to loudly talking about how badly she needs to take a dump in the checkout line.

She gets nice things, from praise and affection to money, from her relatives and from a whole new set of relatives, and he's stuck with her, and she can feed on negative energy if he won't give her positive energy (unless he very carefully controls himself).

And maybe religion.

If you've got it in you, try to take custody, OP.... bring it up slyly reasonably soon when this sort of thing is being discussed. You will have much more chance to influence your kid, and she will have much less, and she won't be able to paint you in a negative light, you will be able to have a much better relationship. And you'll be the one getting money from her, which is always nice....

I wish I'd done it, when custody was literally offered to me. Take it if you can get it, don't hesitate a moment.... jam that paper under her nose.

 

For once I agree with RooRshack...okay twice because he also suggested the paternity test, but definitely try getting custody if you can!

 

In that case you also agree with me, cause I was the first to tell him to get a paternity test done

 

Holy christ....

Look, I'm not religious and I'm pro-choice, I would also never have a one night stand, esp not in high school. But, if I ever did, I would keep it. Not for attention, not because it would be ideal, and not because I wanted anything from the father. I would keep it because that would be my child, regardless of the less-than-ideal circumstances of its conception/birth. Many women could never go through with an abortion, and not for any religious reasons. It's nearly impossible for a man to understand, you'll just never know what it is to be told you have a life growing inside of you. Sure, some women are crazy and keep it for the wrong reasons, but I would argue that's not the majority.

Due to biology, men have no say in whether or not a woman gets an abortion. If you don't want a child, your options as male are thus: 1) choose wisely about where you drop your load, and 2) sign away your parental rights as soon as the kid is born instead of meandering in and out of its life trying to make up your mind. Is it fair? No, but that's biology. There's nothing you or anyone can do about it. Use condoms, and if you don't, be prepared to accept your fate.

Some of you clearly have serious issues with women, and that's too bad, but the fact is none of us on here really knows this girl, other than what the OP is telling us. There are 2 sides to every story. I will say that the timing here seems to add up, and he did have unprotected sex with her, so it's highly likely he is the father. Yes, she chose to have unprotected sex with him, but since she was drunk, it's not fair to conclude that she must have unprotected sex with all the time with dozens of men, as some of you seem to think. Not to mention she would have to have had unprotected sex with another guy in the same 1 or 2 weeks for there to be a chance someone else is the father. Is it possible? Yes. Probable? No. Especially if she's unattractive and still in high school. Should he get a paternity test? By all means. But don't knock him for trying to be supportive of a girl who's very likely going through a lot of heavy shit right now. If he goes with her to doctors appointments, has the necessary conversations, and doesn't buy her tons of shit until the baby is born and he knows it's his, then what exactly is he losing if he finds out it's not his?

Time and emotional energy, sure, but that's part of being a decent human being and owning up to your mistakes--in this case, having unprotected sex, which he admits to doing regardless if it's his or not. Since there's a highly likely chance that it's his, I would say he's doing the right thing for now. I'm not at all suggesting he commit to her in anyway, there's no need to marry her or give her money. If he finds out it's not his, he'll know he did the right thing with the knowledge he had at the time, take it as a big lesson learned about responsible sexuality, and move on. All I'm saying is, when in doubt, err on the side of decency, especially when that doubt is pretty small.

 

For the record, any heavy shit she's going through as a result of having this child is due to her own accord. She's the one who chose to go through with the pregnancy despite the life situation she's in, so she gets no extra sympathy from me.

If he wants to be a better man and stand by her and hold her hand all the way through, then that's his choice. But don't pretend like you don't know all of the devious things women will do when trying to trap a pregnancy on a guy. That may not be the case here... but the fact is you don't know for sure. So in a situation like this, I'd rather have a paternity test before I went out of my way, and it's his right to do the same if he chooses.

 

I like how you seem to equate getting an abortion with having a tooth pulled. As if there would be no emotional, potentially life-long consequences from having an abortion/putting it up for adoption. Sometimes women make the decision to keep the baby because they don't want to risk a potential lifetime of regret. Most people with grown children don't regret having them in hindsight.

And I fully acknowledged women can be devious about their intentions behind keeping a child. But given this was just as much of a one night stand for her as it was for him, I don't think it's fair to assume she's suddenly totally into him and wants to be with him the rest of her life. It's not like she's had this obsession with him from the get go and got him drunk for this purpose. And of course he has the right to a paternity test, when did I say he didn't?

Your comments seem to be based on past negative encounters with women rather than from this kid's reality. I could be wrong about this guy's situation too, as I don't know them either, but I'm trying to look at what would be the most likely in this circumstance.

 

You dudes are being generally pretty big seeping dick-holes about the shit you are saying. Especially you Roor.

Really showing your true colors when it comes to real respect for women.

The only reason I'm in this thread is because I was relating to my (2nd) unwanted pregnancy and you dudes cannot possibly understand what it's like to find out you are trapped in a pregnant body and none of your options are something you really want to go through and all you really want is to have a dick so nobody can ever get you pregnant.

You don't really know how much of an ogre she is, that's all a matter of perception and not really relevant. Maybe she's insecure and easily manipulated by a guys attention, like probably 70% of women no matter how they look, or maybe she was just drunk and horny like he was. Maybe she wanted to get pregnant for some extra drama in her life or maybe she just didn't weigh the consequences of the sex she was having at the moment (are you all not guilty of doing that ever?). If she didn't lie and say she was on the pill, it's no more her fault than his that she's pregnant.

And like I said, you can't possibly understand what it feels like to find that out. To feel smited by the world and angry at your femaleness and like any choice you make carries more weight than you can handle.

So why don't you stop judging this girl that you don't know anything about and just look at your dick and count yourself lucky to have it.

 

Both parties are to blame, it's time both stepped up and grew up. It's baby's time to be crazy now once it gets here.

Take the paternity test, but I have a feeling it's his.

I am conflicted in cases, where women KNOW they are in a situation where they are highly likely to get pregnant because of a lack of protection, and still expect the right to an abortion. Part of me feels like the woman KNOWS the 9 months of stress on her body is part of the contract/deal with the sex act itself, so performing the act kinda implies acceptance of bearing and raising a child.

But then I'd hold the guy equally responsible as well. With today's technology to stalk people, guys can't really run away from the responsibility like they used to years ago in pre-internet days.