Honestly, and this is still something I am working on myself, is finding out how society changed you. Its tough to admit, but we are a product of our environment. Now Im not claiming this to be the answer but hopefully a path to the answer. Find out who you aren't, then maybe you'll find who you are.
Emotions often are expressed at the inopportune time for which one would best reflect rationally on oneself, and people, things and events important to oneself. The result is that one's emotions cloud one's knowledge of such things. A person who does this often may have very accurate knowledge on technical matters such as those related to one's job or the sciences, but have very little knowledge of oneself and one's life.