So I've been running this through my mind for such a long time now and honestly I just want to cry over the whole thing. So all my life I've always been emotionally attracted to girls, and they are always the first thing to trigger my sexuality. For guys, there is no emotional attraction there But for a very long time I have always been attracted to giving blowjobs, it dominates like 70% to 80% of my fantasies. But my fantasies are always with an older male, young guys freak me out when it comes to the subject But the thing is I could never be in love with a guy, it's super weird to me. But lately I've been experiencing weird things with girls, like out of nowhere the thought of being with a girl makes me super anxious like I'm not equiped enough to be with a girl and, you know when you see someone you think is attractive they like light up, this seems to be vanishing for me with women and it's very disheartening for me. This same thing has happened to me once before a few years ago but all my regular emotions about girls came back after a few weeks, but this time it's been like 2 months or longer. I'm wondering if what if my mind didn't register things right the first time around, because sometimes being around a girl I feel like I do when I'm around a guy, like I don't see beauty, just a person. I also have OCD and bad depression, what would you say that I am?
