What a predicament. Need girl advice.

Alright I’ll try to be brief here.

The Background:
I’m turning 30 this year. There is a girl (I’ll call her B) who I’ve known her for over 8 years now. She turns 25 this year and we used to party together when I was in my early 20’s and she was in her teens. I’ve always been crazy about her, but when we first met I was in a long term relationship. Then by the time that relationship ended and I was single again, she was in a long term relationship. This has gone back and forth for 8 years so neither of us has been single at the same time but it’s become quite obvious whenever we cross paths that we a thing for each other. I broke up with my most recent long term girlfriend 2 months ago. B is currently with a guy she has been dating who she met on tinder 10 months ago.

Current Situation:
I called her up 6 weeks ago to hang out. We had a great time together swimming at the beach and her boyfriend showed up right before I left. When I went to leave, B took me around the corner and we gave each other a big kiss on the lips goodbye when the boyfriend was not looking. Interesting...

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. I just bought a cottage (you may call it a cabin, camp, lake house, etc) on the water a ways north of the city. It’s a very cozy spot but it was in need of a thorough cleaning because the previous owners had left it dirty. So I called up B (who cleans houses for a living) and asked her if she would like to come up and clean the place for me and I’ll pay her. She agrees and comes up that weekend with cleaning supplies. I expected her to stay maybe two days and one night... she ends up staying four days and 3 nights. She slept in my bed with me all 3 nights. We cuddled, made out, and hooked up as far as second base. She wouldn’t have sex because she says she is still in love with her boyfriend. That aside it was an all around wonderful few days. I professed my love for her and told her that she could live here with me if she wants. She tells me it is her dream house. I drive her back to her apartment at the end of the weekend and as she’s walking in, I can hear her boyfriend screaming at her about why she has not been answering his calls. (They don’t live together but he had let himself in while she was gone).

I drive back up to my cottage and all week she is texting me saying how she loves me and she misses me. I am messaging her the same. We are even texting semi nude photos to each other. I message her that I want her by my side in life and she responds that she is really considering it. She messages that I should stop by her place again for a visit when I’m on my way back to the city.
I agreed and brought her roses. Before long we are making out in her apartment. She says her boyfriend and her are having some issues. She tells me that I have a really strong effect on her and she loves me. I take her out to dinner and we have a few glasses of wine and a passionate conversation. She says how we are glad she is that waited all these years because we are now more ready than ever for a life partnership. Afterwards we end up driving to a secluded parking lot and had passionate unprotected sex in the back of my truck. Mind=Blown. As I’m driving her back to her place she is telling me how she is going to have to break up with her boyfriend to be with me but she doesn’t want him to know that she cheated on him first and asked me to not tell anyone about it. I say fine. We make plans to see each other the next day and I drop her off home. I am on cloud nine as I go to sleep that night. The next day rolls around, I message her to meet up and I get this message as a reply:

“Hey bb... I know we love eachother but i need to see how things go with my bf now i love him and love being with him and i dont want to break up with him. I hope you can understand”

Ugh... not what I wanted to hear.

Now I’m not the kind of guy who actively tries to hit on women who are already taken, but B is a special case and she has been sending me strong signals. I would have little remorse for the tinder guy if it came to her choosing me and breaking up with him. But I don’t want to put her into an uncomfortable situation and apply too much pressure or rush her. Her boyfriend probably doesn’t t know what happened between us and she is no doubt feeling some very conflicting emotions right now.

Now I’m trying to think of the most tactful approach to take here. Should I just stop messaging her and act like nothing happened and see if she comes to me eventually? Should I keep reaching out with hopes of continuing to build on what we have going?
I’m not desperate but my goodness... I can feel that we would make a phenomenal team together and I would wife her 100%. I’m in love like I have not been in years.

Anyone experienced anything like this before?

Any advice or related experience at all is greatly appreciated.

Bless

 

Honestly just let her go.. She has obviously more feelings for this other guy than she has for you . Interfere and you will lose her altogether . Just keep her in the friendzone and move on .

I have had a similar situation with a work colleague over a 10 year period. We fancied the pants off each other but during that period neither of us were free at the same time. I am happily married now for 24 years with my current and final partner . However both me and my partner are friends wit this now former work colleague of mine and her partner as well . Sometimes just staying friends has its benefits too .