I’ve been wondering lately about bi men showing who they are. I’m bi but it’s only sex. I’m not romantically interested in men nor do I look at any guy and think “he’s hot” like I do women. But I’m also comfortable enough to acknowledge if a guy is a nice looking guy or goofy looking if the conversation calls for it. My wife does not know of my bi side at all. But, one day we were having a conversation about a guy we knew that seemed to have a complete lack of confidence and dated women accordingly. I said it makes no sense, that he’s a pretty normal nice looking guy. My wife thought it was “weird” I said that. Then another time a guy had kinda hit on her and this guy was a goofy looking dude (and that’s being generous) and I said “he has a lot of confidence for as goofy as he looks” and again my wife thought and said guys don’t usually say that about other guys. Now, I’m not sure if she’s just odd like that or am I giving a tell to my bisexual side? I have heard that bi guys are softer natured in a certain way and that some women that are attentive can spot us because of our traits but I have no idea if that’s true or not.
I'd say that most women don't know or understand how us guys do throw shade at each other re looks, what other guys are wearing, etc.. Now, is it true that some women "just know" that we might not be as straight as we'd like for them to think? Yes, it is and, no, I still don't know how that works but, then again, I've always felt like I've had a sign on me that says if you're a guy and you want to have a good time, ask me - and some women can see it as well. Are bi guys "softer natured" in any way? Not by any default that I'm aware of but there may be some validity to that even though I personally know some bi guys who are not even soft-natured in any way.
I’m not sure I used the right phrase in “softer”. I’ve read comments in places where women have said that their husbands, who have been with men are gentler and more caring lovers. They theorized that if a man had been penetrated (orally/anally) that gave them a better perspective toward them making them “softer”. You’re right though, I’ve met a number of bi guys that are not soft in any shape or form and in my experience, they are more aggressive but they’re also not tops or the one “giving” themselves. I’ve never had any woman outright say to me that I seemed a little less than straight but maybe they’ve thought it. I’ve often wondered if I gave off that vibe to women that are attentive to that sort of thing or if I’m right when I picked up signs another guy might be less than straight.
It's been my thought that we become more... consistent and attentive lovers once we get exposed to what it's like to have sex with a man, from cocksucking to being screwed; I know it changed the way I had sex with women since I couldn't stand a lot of the same things most women can't stand about us. Having said that, you can never, ever, discount a woman's intuition! Some just know or they can look at you and they know that you know something about cock that they do. And as far as you know, you're not giving away any signs that you're bisexual.
A man should be Well groomed ,neat, clean, fingernails and hands like a Dr., but tough and strong and self assured has always made things attractive to my partners and customers. A good smile and pleasant attitude helps
In the last few years I've developed the theory that I must have all my life had a tell that girls and women picked up on that I like guys and I've had lots of experience with guys, because they've always rejected me. I don't think I'm ugly, as platonic female friends have always said that I'm good looking and a super nice guy, very attractive to women looking for long term relationships, like I always was, and would make a great boyfriend or husband. At 62 now, I've only had sex with two women, both were girlfriends and both on and off for 3 years. But my last girlfriend dismissed this theory when I mentioned it to her post-breakup (I told her all about my experiences with guys before we had sex in 2017, so she knew). She thought I was being silly thinking I have a gay tell. I'm still not sure about the tell, but now I'm leaning towards just thinking that my super lack of confidence with girls and women were the turn-off. The only time I had and showed self-confidence was with my two girlfriends beforehand and in the 15 or more speed dating nights I've had. In those 5-8 minute "dates", because I'm a great conversationalist, and for whatever other reason, I showed great confidence, and every single time I walked away with at least one or two matches, sometimes more, which rarely happens the owners told me. But the real dates that followed always crashed and burned, and I'm now thinking because my self-confidence evaporated one-on-one with these women, and not any kind of bi tell. I don't know. I also don't know if I have a tell with just regular guys in every day life, because I've never had a bi or gay man hit on me in everyday life. But I am in the closet in general, so I think I try to hide my bisexuality in everyday life. It's only lately, when I know the guy is gay, because we're at a gay social event (I hang with a lot of gay guys these days), that I let my guard down and even flirt with guys I'm attracted to. I flirt a lot actually. But I have let my guard down a few times in everyday life: for example, I went out with a bunch of male and female friends and strangers, and there was one cute guy whom I had just met that I kind of flirted with using my eyes, and we held each other's gaze multiple times for way longer than straight guys ever would--I think. But I didn't pursue it with him, in fear of being outed. I just got to get better at showing my gay tells to guys I'm attracted to in everyday life, because I'm tired of constantly failing to find a bisexual or gay FWB through the online gay hookup sites and apps (everyone I hook up with just wants to do one night stands). Like most of the guys on this forum, I think I need to find a regular lover organically.
I don't know if I have a tell that others would pick up on unless I wanted them to. My wife, well I told her I like sucking dick and we agree I've swallowed more cum than she has. For others, there's not something I know of that would out me as bi. When I wear stockings or panties or a camisole under my clothes when I'm out of town I'll sometimes let something peak out if I'm feeling adventurous. Maybe lift up my pant leg to tie my shoe and let my stockings or anklet show for a minute in case anyone is looking. Or unbutton an extra button so the lace top of my camisole shows while I'm bending down. Or pull my pants down just a little lower at a urinal in a public restroom so guys might see the top of my panties. For the most part if you know me or not I'm just a 'normal' straight guy. Until there's another dick out in my face.
My tell insofar as I have one is my physical appearance. I'm slim, slender limbed, round baby face - I used to describe myself as boyish looking but basically I'm not very masculine. Always felt more at ease in the company of women and have a lot of interests that wouldn't be considered very manly. For years I struggled with this and tried to reassert my masculinity and I have been moderately successful at attracting women. But exploring my bi side has been such an eye opener because suddenly rather than repressing or feeling ashamed of my feminine sides I can let them out and express them freely to another person. Gay sex allows me to live this side of my personality and it is incredibly liberating to do so - even if in the end I will remain married to my wife and have no intention of coming out.
I don't think I have a tell but I definitely have a feminine side. I don't wear anything feminine but I have probably picked out 75 percent of the clothes my wife wears. I love the colors and designs but cannot see myself in any of the. My wife often comments when we are in a women's clothing store that it's a good thing I'm not a female, I would be such a clothes whore. I don't look at a man and think he's hot like I do with some women. It's not until the guy's cock appears that I pay any attention. Then I start to drool in anticipation.
I guess I have a couple more tells that I noticed over the past few days. When I eat a banana I put about 4 inches in my mouth and extend my tongue down before sliding up to have a bite. Not the manly way to eat fruit. Another thing I do is sometimes walk with a wiggle. I walk with one foot going in front of the other in a line with a little sway to my hips. The last thing I noticed is when I bend down for one reason or another I push my ass back and out like I'm ready to be mounted. Funny how many things you notice when you think about it.
Yeah, I eat bananas like that, too; peel it, deep throat it, drives my wife insane, too. She knows and has seen me suck dick so no problem there but whenever I do that, she says, "Show off..."
My tell (with the right guy) is that I'm willing to talk about personal stuff. Conversation then leads to the removal of clothes and inhibitions.
