We're at totally different places

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by QueenChapstick, Sep 20, 2013.

  1. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. I'm 24 (in a week) and he's 22. He comes from a very strict catholic family, has a lot of morals, etc...

    Lately I've been extremely frustrated with the relationship because I'm ready for the next step and I feel like he would rather have his parents support him for the rest of his life. Which they do. I live with my grand parents but they don't support me other than a place to live. Basically he wont do anything like spend the night, his mom was crazy rules like even a curfew (god i know!), she texts him constantly when he isnt home, and is just basically suuupppeeerrr clingy and annoying most of the time. He won't move out with a girl before marriage or anything. So... I've been dealing with this for awhile and honestly I love him with ALL my heart. He is my everything but... I want so much more for us. I'm getting sick of this pretty much "high school feeling like dating" relationship I mean we can't even close the f**king door at his house. Sometimes its no big deal but gaaaahhh lately it's getting old.

    Another problem is that we can't even talk about marriage without fighting somehow. And he makes me feel like he'd rather not grow up and face the real world out of his parent lil bubble. I just wanna get him outta there! Damn it makes me so mad. I've been on my own a lot. I moved out plenty of times but I don't make that much money (I work retail). But he's never moved out...

    I just feel like most of the time he's stringing me along with no hope in sight. No light at the end. Nothing. I end up feeling horrible like what is the point? I don't want to give up but I just don't know...

    Being in two totally different places in this relationship is starting to mentally exhaust me. I try to forget about it for awhile but then I'll see everyone I know getting married/ having babies.. and I'm like God I want that!
     
  2. machinist

    machinist Banned Lifetime Supporter

    you can do better. he's not really into you either. just end it now.
     
  3. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    It could be he just doesn't wanna rush things in practical sense. If he's finishing his studies, for instance, it'd be wise to stay where he is. You could both save up to buy a property and not get entangled with full life expenses before you make that step (buying a house). Where I live, buying property is very important and many couples will delay marriage till they can do it. The idea is to make sacrifices for a few years, but then have a comfortable life, instead of choosing a path to poverty together.

    On the other hand, it seems you two have more problems than that. I'd think you're not compatible and if you stay together, there will be always something. You'll be always nagging about his ways. You know how he is, how he was brought up, how his relationship with his family is. If you don't like it, you try to change the guy. Put yourself in his shoes. He is who he is. If you already know you're incompatible, better end now than embark both of you in a life where harmony will be tough to achieve.
     

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