Welp, I'm gay.

I'm aware of homophobia, I identify as straight, and I'm accepting of "gays" or LGBTQ people regardless of their orientation or alternate identities and alternative lifestyles. I think (especially now with as much energy and momentum as there is for gender fluidity, non-binary identities, pronouns, and objectivity for treatment of gender transformation or even just gender-neutral bathrooms and baby gender reveals) it's important for the adults in the lives of young people especially but also any people, to be aware, but be informed and responsible and present in the lives of our friends and families who may have questions or identify as something other than what was expected.

We all have our families. They each have their traditions, ideologies, and the last thing any of these people young or old need is an ideological divide that creates chaos in something that is already emotionally complicated, sometimes stressful, and ultimately something that requires acquiescence and cooperation and even coordination not only with family and friends, but professional or even religious relationships as well.

I'm a straight person and for some reason my heterosexual status is routinely questioned. For my life, I decided not only was I not as appealing in the androgynous way I would have liked to be given my complexion and personality (I'm brown skinned, plus I have a gregarious quirk that leaves a question...), but that geographically and in terms of tradition and family structure, and religious notions for modesty, I had better odds of survival being 20-ish and not totally independent and autonomous or experienced nor inclined to same-sex relationships.

I found that in my life there was a choice. I could choose my path; be gay or be straight. I found that I didn't want to be gay, and I found that I liked lots of things about being straight. I had trouble at first feeling that I needed to measure up and didn't fit in with many straight guys and that I was immersed in the rave scene as much as one can be without taking drugs (which I had experimented with prior to my immersion).

Finally, I went to college and got lost. I didn't have a group, and without the scene (it diminished after 2006 and I drank and gained a lot of weight making it less accessible or practical to be on the dancefloor) that I knew, there wasn't much but the internet.

As I grew older, I felt more mature and adult-like when I did things that were more "status quo". That's who I am today, and I want to someday be more than a washed-out bachelor in his forties; but this may be my destiny as it is.

 

I just have to say, "Wow!" and maybe I'm hesitant to post because I've a different story.

I love women. I'm wary of men. I can fully embrace a woman and all of her quirks. I find it fascinating. I like a dick, but mostly I find the prick it's attached to disagreeable.

 

Thank you.

I see a lot of empathy here. I'm very empathetic, too. I feel other's pain and I feel other's love.

Namaste, motherfuckers.

 

Live your life to the fullest regardless of the labels. I’m always happy to hear that someone is comfortable with being honest with themselves before anyone else. Love on yourself! Wishing you the best.