hi this is for all we welcome life,to live and be free i once felt opened not closed . now the silver rolls off my cheek. not sure what has become.... i welcome day when a dawn washed night a balance held. danced loney heart unfull, with young minds we laughed now the age of seconds welcome a new time... we welocme life,to live love,,,, i once held tight the light now burned deep below. fragile welcome alright stay no no flee go ripples wash a soul fresh ive welcomed life ,lived and loved my honour my body ,flown........... thank you love n peace from saff
"i welcome day when a dawn washed night a balance held." i adore this line. Revel, I say, revel! much love
thank you osiris i have been reading your poetry and enjoy the depth you dive when you write.. love n peace keep writing from saff
2. (See "Hot Poems") Try to make it less egocentric. Try to dissolve the barriars between you (or in the case of the 1st line "us") and everything else. Also try to loose a sense of time, just keep the progession of events, you have too much "now", "then". For me the hot lines are: the silver rolls off my cheek danced loney heart unfull the age of seconds I just noticed you could almost make that the whole poem if you are into Haikus: the silver rolls off my cheek danced loney heart unfull the age of seconds Blessings Sebbi
