Weddings...who Pays?

Update:The daughter and partner visited us last weekend.I was feeling rather anxious about this impending visit.I had informed them a few weeks ago we were prepared to contribute x amount of £'s,and that was our budget.They then started sending me Facebook messages saying how they couldnt afford a manor house on our budget etc.We didnt back down.I figured its best when wedding planning to be flexible with the venue and maybe look outside the box.So initially they seemed abit nervous last weekend,but we managed to find a suitable venue within budget which is stunning!They also realise we're serious re our budget and that they also need to contribute towards the wedding.So all is good right now !Lets hope it lasts!

 

Yoga, I hope your daughter continues to be reasonable, and you and your husband continue to stand your ground, If she wants more money for the wedding she can either come up with it with her fiance' and stop expecting Bank of Mom and Dad to give her whatever she demands.

I think who pays for the wedding depends entirely on the individual family, their ability to pay, religious or cultural reasons, etc. As for me personally, when my ex husband and I were planning our wedding his mom kept adding to the guest list, insisting on nicer venues, valet parking, the whole nine yards. It got to the point of absurdity. Inviting people she knew, but we did not, just so they would not be offended. WTF!?! Considering my ex and I were paying for the wedding, and I did all of the planning, I finally got fed up with his mom, and her long list of always changing demands, and told her she could meet us in Las Vegas, NV on such and such date, and we got married there. When my current husband and I got married, we actually decided to go to Las Vegas, and enjoyed a nice long weekend there as our honeymoon. We had a great time, and laughed throughout the entire ceremony because it was the fastest wedding we'd ever seen.

The notion of parents going into debt to provide a dream wedding is absurd to my husband and I. We have raised our kids to work for what they want, and not to expect handouts. They are not entitled to a lavish wedding, or owning a home in their early 20's. However, if they want to work hard, and make solid financial decisions, it is entirely possible for them to have those thingsl

 

I haven't gotten married yet but I would never ask my parents to pay for it. I have a feeling if it ever happens my parents will offer some money to help, but it won't be 10,000 dollars! I also understand that my boyfriends parents are not as financially well off as my parents and we would never expect any more from them than help organizing if they had the time.

If I get married it will probably bea small wedding in an inexpensive outdoor location. There is a really pretty park here that I've always thought would be good for a wedding. I've seen a wedding happen there before so I know it can be done. And then we could all have a barbecue in the park!

 

That sounds like a lovely idea Mattekat. Hope your boyfriend asks you soon or you ask him! Assuming of course he's "the one"!

 

Modern weddings are quite stressful nowadays, Yogamat. Far too many people feel they've got a right to an opinion. I'm sure your daughter has just got carried away with the planning and isn't trying to fleece you like some have suggested. The fact they've compromised on the venue shows they've talked it through. The day will probably be perfect and everyone will enjoy themselves and you'll look back and think why was I worried?!

When we got married almost 15 years ago my mum was a widow. We were older and both owned our own homes. We took out a wedding loan to pay for part of it and parents contributed what they could. All in all everything got paid for one way or another!

Hope you have a fantastic day when it finally started arrives and don't skimp on your wedding outfit!

 

I've been married twice, the first time 26yrs ago and the 2nd time 10 years ago.

On each occasion, I (and my soon to be wife) paid for the cost of the wedding ourselves and didn't expect or ask anyone else to contribute a single penny towards the cost.

I think it's outdated that parents are expected to contribute to the big day.

 

I might pay for them to elope (to avoid all the hoopla surrounding a wedding) but they'd never get $1000 worth outta me. If they want a big wedding they'd have to pay for it.

 

Well 50% of marriages end in divorce last time I checked, 70% of them initiated by the woman. Alimony and child support checks usually goes to the girl along with custody.

So the guy pays.

 

how much does it cost to get married at city hall?

 

My wedding is going to be solo and alone but my reception will be in my backyard with friends and family. Some drinks provided, BYO sausages and meat.

Every wedding I been to all the same. Someone didn't want to eat that and the next person didn't wanna eat what they got either. So, for my reception, you're gone eat what you like because you're bringing it to cook yourself.

I've got the money and everything, but I'm not ever going to spend it on a wedding. When I get married it'll be North Scandianvia. I'll spend the money on a good holiday instead.

 

And also because we are like average aged 30.. I dunno why anyone is paying for our wedding anyway?? I get when your son or daughter live at home or like 18 and too young to be committed anyway, folks gotta fork out... for some reason... because statistically that marriage isn't going to last which makes my idea all the more suitable.

 

I actually think expecting parents to pay for weddings is kind of archaic. I mean I wouldn't say no if my mom or my girlfriend's mom offered to help, but we fully expect to pay for our wedding ourselves.

 

If the are old enough to get married let them pay for themselves.

 

The man commonly pays... with his soul :-D