We Created A Creation That I Can't Destroy!

So, this probably should've gone in one of the psychic or spiritual forums, but because I don't know quite how to handle this conundrum of the mind and it's not quite a mind fuck, I've decided to post here.

Back in 2007, I started a friendship with someone who believed in psychic powers, mediums, and channeling. The long story short part of this is after only three months of friendship, it turned into a six year off and on battle of a toxic relationship. Now that I'm mostly healed and enlightened about the toxic nature and have had no contact with this person for over a year, the only thing I truly miss was whatever it was we had created for all of those years!

In talking with other people who believe in psychic activity, spirit energy, and paranormal phenomena, they've all given me the wake-up call that this so-called power to remotely view other dimensions, channel other beings, and protect the universe with psychic powers was nothing more than a glorified RPG with thoughts and characters and a sort of living, breathing, spoken and acted out over hours of phone calls crossover fanfiction.

I've tried to treat this as fanfiction and write down random scenes, character profiles, and short stories or chapter-length documents in hopes that I could come up with a decent fanfic series of some sort, but when I have keys under my fingers or a pen or pencil in hand, I just can't seem to move past a slow, uphill, tentative, "I... think... I... can..." chug into something more with all the bits and pieces put together that is fluid in motion and readable.

Every time I try and suppress these created energy beings/spirits/characters, they end up popping back to the surface and when I'm bored and alone, I'll start channeling/roleplaying them again. I'd even thought of treating them as real RPG characters and contributing them to some online RPG adventure, but then it just wouldn't feel right to me, like sending a soldier off to war in a foreign battleground. I've thought of recording the times I "channel" them or recording acting out of scenes or memories from the 6 years that all of this went on, but then new ideas (remotely viewed events?) keep popping up and I'm lost in the fray again.

These beings of created energy who may or may not be real particles of spirit/source have become like guides, friends, and family to me, which is why it's so hard to debunk it as a character RPG that I can no longer enjoy with a toxic co-creator! Should I just kill them all off cold-turkey, like formatting a mental hard drive, and leave all that room for more productive creative space, or are these trustworthy spirit interactions in one great big costume party... or do I kick myself in the ass and write until the proverbial pen bleeds with six years of stories and beyond?

Thank you in advance for helping me screw my mind and spirit back on straight!

 

Imaginary beings....imaginary friends syndrome from being lonely? The mind is a very powerful thing not to waste and try to cage.....let it go.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Z-DQGqM90

 

Maybe you should stop playing with imaginary friends, before you end up with something like dissociative identity syndrome.

 

Love your creations leave dreaming to sleep.

 

OK, thinking positively then, what do you think would be the best way of loving these creations without getting lost in dreams? Overcome writer's block? Find another creative expressive outlet to let these imaginary figments go in a peaceful process? Thank you for all of your feedback so far!

 

Hi Echo
The key in creation is to Know who you are and what is yours to be and do. The flesh wants us to believe we have no power. Spirit wants us to know we are the power, and life and death ask us to face our self and shows us a belief may or may not be true. Do not take on what is not yours. In other words every creation great or small has a consequence that the creator must let go of in order to not loose sight of who they are and why we are here. There are several things going on in your creation. There is the bleed over of energy. There is the illusion of a reality. There is emotional addiction. There is imprinting. and there is the need to face both life and death of the choices made. (Here life and death speak of what is yours and what is not.) Just because a mother has a child does not mean they own that creation...they are guardians and care givers until the creation takes on a life of its own.

Sacred Geometry shows us we are all connected and are here to raise the vibration of existance. Every time we create energy we are first entering the place of imagination and thought. Then we enter the gestation period and then the truth of life. As we think so do we imagine and create. We are giving birth all the time. The guardianship position ask us to feed that which we wish to grow. Time will help us cultivate the stronger images we cling to or seek meaning from. Residual memory and energy will show us a glimpse of past lives, and emotional trama that has yet to be resolved. In order to heal and move on we must take the pain out of the equasion and look for the growth all have been a part of. Emotional addictions will wrap around us like lint from a dryer on a sweater. Again we have the power to feed the thoughts within us we want to grow. For example over ten years ago I had someone who offered friendship. I entered into this creation of friendship. Time played out and we went our seperate ways. For years every time the loss was felt I mentally saw a grenn ivy growing which drew me back into the emptiness. I entered marconic and energy healing and each time the green ivy came up I consciously planted a flower on the vine. I focused on the flowers and was greatful for the lessons and experiences because they taught me a lot about myself. To change the direction of your thoughts change the image of creation. Each experience is different. I once imagined just grabing the image and tearing it our roots and all and found to do that I was nigating the greater energy of love and vibration that shook me from my own self absorbtion.

Our minds need to fill in the blanks and complete the partial memories we have. The heart wars in this completion of images and wants to know what love is. Love is the choice to let go of that which we fear, and cling to. Validation of who we are must come from inside us and not from the ones around us even when we share time and space with them. I spoke with a man who had crossed over and relayed the message back to the ones who sought closure and understanding. His message was that as long as we bury our self in distractions we will not fully see the light of all that is. The bigger picture is about the embrace and letting go...not the holding on to what was.

These relationships and experiences of creating space and energy is a bit like building a garden. You choose the plants or the weeds you want to let grow inside you. I do understand how an experience can crush your spirit, unsettle your mind and break your heart. The truth is in this winding journey that shows you somethings do not at this moment make sense if they ever will. Let go and become your own healer within which will set up ripples to an even greater creation and one that shows you the beauty of the all of you. We are here searching and hungering for a way to Be Love. Only when we know what is out there will we make an informed creation. Recently I slid into a way to look at someone and see with Spirits eyes . This was eye opening and life changing for me and will enhance the path of healing I am on. With that said the picture and image that came up as I read your post and questions was a giant spiders web covered in the morning dew. I thought WOW you have no clue of the depth of your beauty and power within you. I listened for the song of the sunrise and was amazed at how often you life with doubts and old programs even as you search for deeper understanding. You see the field before you and miss the wonder of you. Your key word is Love and your weakness is distractions. Make these both work for you and not against you. Emotions are both a weapon and a tool depending on how we use them.

So how do you stop the images... you become an artist in your mind and heart and create from the beauty within you and not the emptiness.

as always
aireal

 

i think to just write everyday like somebody practicing the piano . afterwhile it should work out so that you never use
the word figment again . yes , very well , i shall take own medicine and have a pig mint with teatime as well .

 

Nothing wrong with imagination. I have penty of it, as I am also a writer, but when it overtakes you and your life, then you could be in trouble.

 

It's exactly the overtaking and the emotional addiction as stated above. Sure, I've made steps in realizing that humans will come and go and may abandon, reject or leave me alone, but it's stepping outside of the coping skill that had turned negative that when humans left me to my own devices, I played with thoughtforms, similar to the dangers of virtual reality devices, that too much of any state of consciousness shifts a being out of balance. Self-love and letting go are indeed my two biggest struggles and your support is eye-opening to sacred truth and to turning my will toward the right direction.

 

This is not just like being addicted to virtual reality.

This is risking serious irreperable damage to your psyche.

You call it "channeling", instead of imagining. There's a problem, and you simply need to stop. There's a difference between simple imagination or telling youlself stories or whatever, and trading your perception of reality for things that are patently untrue because it's nicer and easier.

This is a coping mechanism for extreme stress, but it's a self-sacrificial mechanism, again, like dissociative identity disorder - it may help save a kernel of who you are, but it can also swallow the rest of who you are. The stressor is gone, if you are to recover and be well, this is something you have to quarantine as a part of that time and your coping, but not something that you will let pollute your life.

It's a bit of a blue or red pill choice.

 

My will is pretty grounded with me.....

Good luck to you and yours, though.

I have my own shadow. I never need someone else's......

 

The good news is there have been times where I have been able to quarantine it, and I don't feel completely dissociative because there are so many vivid memories. I'm well aware I have some kind of identity disorder, I'm not sure what others are out there... because even before this period of slipping into these character roles, there were things like a therapist's guided imagery gone wrong where she asked me to imagine myself at various stages of life, go back as my current self and tell them I'm here and I give them love, company, other unmet needs, etc. When I wasn't in the therapist's office, I made between 17-20 new friends in my head just out of persona from memories. Before that, as a child, I was encouraged to have imaginary friends and sometimes family members even introduced them and made them up for me. Thankfully, many of these broken fragments of my psyche have gone away due to the logical part of me that knows better. I'm at the stage now where I'm willing to face my issues head-on and do some serious self-loving reparation and healing. I need to quit looking at the core of me as a sacrificed unknown due to mental role divisions and breaking out of people-pleasing programs. So now with admittance of my problem and a will to solve it and the negative energy quarantined, what would seem the next step in the greater good of lifting the "me" out of the "mess"?

I know this is a pretty hefty topic and I thank you all again for sticking it out and offering support!

 

Hi Echo
The next step is graditude. Pass by fear and doubt and walk into graditude for all that has been a teacher for you. The hardest thing to over come is what we believe about our self. There are two roles we play the abuser and the abused. When we take this energy out of the way we see energy. Energy creates. I remember once for my birthday my sister gave me a shoe box full of manure. I cried thinking her gift was evil. In face her intent was to show me the place my new garden would be. Never loose sight of your intent. Follow your heart and your mind will catch up to that which you chose to focus on. How do you move on... The next step with all the advice and suggestions given you is to come from a place of understanding what love means to you. When you know follow your heart and effect and affect the world around you with acts of love. The past, present and future have only the power we give to them. I know. My earliest memories of abuse started at age 3. My greatest abuse happened at 51...that was when I stopped running away and faced the all of me. There are evil choices out there in the world. There are good choices out there in the world. The Yin and Yang show us dark and light work together to show us the shadows in our lives.

So begin again with a new pen and paper and make a graditude list. Love beyond and because this is who you are and let go of what others think and do to you. Life is an opportunity and becomes what you make of it. The only promise we have is one of change. You c an be the dark or the light that is possable or you can be the the whole of who you are. My latest book titled Consuming Fire a Shapeshifters journey speaks of what change ask of us. My next book in the editing phase titled Tapestry, The Child Within speaks of focus and how to enter your own wellness.

Love is an opportunity to be ONE with the whole and the greater design. Until we let go of fear we will not understand the differance between a weapon and a tool. We will never understand holding on until we are released from an embrace that shows us how to love not only others but who we are within.

 

So, do you 100% of the time know they are not real?

 

Crone: An attitude of hope and gratitude, of course! I've taken peeks at gratitude for lessons in life but have never really counted my blessings I already have as much as I have tried to hocus-pocus all my curses into blessings.

AT: I know 100% of the time that I over-use my imagination and fantasies as a coping skill. Some of the time I defeat that awareness and allow the thoughts to pacify me and when I come out of those times, I feel conscious regret.

 

Hmm that's all very interesting to me and I don't know exactly what to say because it's pretty foreign for me-nothing I have ever personally experienced. It, at least, seems like you have a good grasp on the reality of the situation though.

And I must say I really like old crone's advice... simply because the ONE thing that has helped me more than anything in life was developing an attitude of being consciously grateful. When I do this deliberately things go much better for me- even if it is just in the way I deal with things (but really how we deal with and cope with things IS how they are going as life is never gonna change and suddenly become perfect.)..... when I start to slack off from the conscious effort I have a harder time coping with things in life and develop more problems.

I also think I understand what you mean about hocus-pocus'ing your curses into blessings... but I digress. I think sometimes the situations that seem the worst CAN truly be turned into blessings... even if it's just through changing your attitudes about them and changing what you do WITH it... if you know what I mean. I don't think that's fake. (If it is fake then I live a pretty fake life because I do it all the time)

 

If it isn't already an actual problem

For most people the veil between reality and their own minds is a lot thinner than it seems to be here

But then... what's real, anyway?

I remember I was like this as a child - I was so completely wrapped up in my world of magic and dragons and evil consciousnesses corrupting the pudding-minds of my peers that I didn't give a shit about anything else. Now I have learning problems, specifically in paying attention to anything that doesn't immediately interest me. Go figure

So, needless to say, it's not healthy. I don't usually bring it up since I get embarrassed. BUT... I think your problem is not without solution.

Are you artistic? Any form of the arts at all - personally I would recommend maybe trying acting. I got into music and dabble in drawing and more heavily so in writing. But that's my skill set. What you have to do, though, is use it as an expression of yourself, and whatever inner problems are currently trapping you in a wall inside your own head... very literally, you have to tear down the wall. If you don't find some way to express that, use that energy, you may very well be ignoring it for all the good it does you.

So what is troubling you?

 

I had a breakthrough earlier when I was meditating on all this wisdom. All my life, I'd allowed myself to give away my spiritual power to negative and controlling forces, living under rules and a life that was not my own just to satisfy others. The energy put into creating scenarios and playing with personalities was the last attachment to the aforementioned toxic ex that I had and earlier this evening, I disempowered and detached from his final chain of control and broke and released it as it is far better to lose the negativity and make room for positivity to grow and flourish rather than starving of positivity because of sacrificing it to the demons of negativity.

 

Yes. Chances are you visualized this. Felt something powerful by experiencing it.

...the tricky part is living it

 

Imagine/imagination merely means that you can picture it in your brain and mind, it doesn't mean something isn't real. If it did? That would mean none of your thoughts are real. It seems strange that someone who would make references to the film The Matrix, would be quick to dismiss these things right off the bat.