Hi all, Here's my deal. Am 43, two kids, married for 20 years. Been at the same factory job for the last ten years. Should let you know that my wife and I haven't been on great terms for the last six years and haven't had sex in the same amount of tim (yes, six years celibate) I've had a very deep crush on a gorgeous female co-worker (35 w 2kids) who, after we've had occasional flirtatious times, told her that I'm crazy about her. I've bought her coffees, cookies, presents for her birthday and Xmas. Treated her very special. She always went out of her way to talk with me and flash me that special smile. Awhile back, there were rumours that she was seeing another male co-worker at lunch, both going to her car and returning when time was up. Yesterday, the two of them drove to get coffees together. I wanted one too and found myself behind them. They used the drivethru, i went inside. They left before me. Instead of returning to work, they turned the opposite way away from work. I was blocked in and went the same way too, but was about two minutes behind them. I found the two of them parked behind another factory far away from our own. I kept on driving. She once told me she couldn't accept texts from other guys as her spouse wouldn't approve. I found her texting the other guy yesterday. She also once told me they were just friends, but i doubt that friends park in clandestine areas. She has such a smile when she sees him. Once, I was pretty sure she stole a kiss from him. BTW, he is also married with one child. After five years of holding in my crush, and telling her how I feel two months ago, my heart was destroyed once again. I rarely let anyone close to me see my feelings but I thought I'd take a chance. I never thought marriage could be so lonely. I so desperately want to love someone and get that love in return, something I don't think my wife and i can achieve. I sit here in tears as I type this. My heart and soul are crushed. I am so lonely Any sincere thoughts would be appreciated. Chris
Doesn't sound like there's much you can do here. You've made your feelings clear to her, so if she felt the same way you'd probably be on the way to a divorce by now. Seems she enjoys your company and loves the attention you give her (who wouldn't?) but doesn't want that kind of relationship with you. You need to find something to emotionally invest yourself in to displace your thoughts of her. The more rewarding the better.
Thanks. I know that was way off topic, but I'm a regular poster to the BF board and as well all know, we all have problems or issues outside of barefooting. Just needed a hand
Happy to help. Also as a barefooter you have to hold out for someone who is drawn to you as yourself. She does not need to ever want to go barefoot herself, but it's crucial that she completely understands you and why you do it. That's an essential foundation to anything with a chance of lasting. If you're with someone who questions it at times or asks you to make occasional exceptions, to avert her embarrassment, however few, you're on shakey ground.
both of you have kids from previous marriages. it's a good start for an early separation. no, ssly, im not telling you the relationship was doomed right from the beginning but it's a lot harder and i've already seen how these things end. i understand your pain but maybe it wasn't the wisest choice.
