just a little background... i have only recently gotten back into yoga and meditation. it's been awhile, since i've been rather distracted and playing games. games of attachment and desire, games of fantasy or past or future. and i was largely unaware of their game-ness. i was taking it all too seriously. i didn't realize this until i underwent a spiritual experience, out in nature a few days ago, and meditation came back into my life... so last night i got comfortable, just before bedtime, and let myself meditate. it was not something i did, as much as something i just allowed to happen. i watched my thoughts from a distance. i watched them arise, float by, and disappear. and more than once i found myself dwelling on something, and i let that go, too. it's such a simple thing, that i almost forgot how to do. for a minute, bliss overtook me, and i saw my life in a different perspective. it used to be that i'd take drugs to change my perspective, but here it happened naturally. i fell asleep feeling content. and this morning i awoke rested (for a change), and still seeing traces of that shift in perspective. that has lasted throughout the day. i realized that for some time now, i have been lost in internal worlds of 'what might happen next week', or 'how i want things to be', or 'what i should have said or done'. i was doing everything i could to put myself at a distance from where i was right there and then. and then it hits me... i feel like i'm growing up spiritually. this didn't happen overnight, but the awareness of its manifestation just hit me yesterday. i've meditated in the past, but i never stuck with it, because it wasn't "REAL" to me. it was something i did, but it had little meaning. the same thing could be said for all my spiritual practices (church, prayer, etc.). and only recently, i realized that i get it... at least more than i ever have before. i certainly don't have all the answers now, but the stuff that i've professed, believed, and practiced is more tangible in my life. the only thing that has changed is the depth of understanding given to me by time and experience. as life has progressed, my spirituality has slowly unfolded, and it is just now really opening up. concepts which before were hard to grasp have come closer into reach. meditation awakens this in me. it came to me just when i needed it, and could understand and use it. just thought i'd share that
I'm glad you shared that. I once felt that way intensely for about a week, and I still have small remnants of that peace, it is a great thing, and I know that I need to get back meditating, and get back at yoga. It is beautiful that you've had a chance to experience this. You put it so well, and helped me to realize how much easier things were, and could be if I would just stop and really breathe. Thanks for the inspiration. More peace and love to ya!
