Not long ago i met a girl who was very attracted to me - she wanted my number and started texting me, we started dating for over 4 weeks - everything great. Im lacking experience with girls, so I was not very aggressive during that time (never made a move on her sexually, but i kissed her, held hands, made out regularly). So she texted 2 mutual friends and asked behind my back if i ever had a girlfriend. He refused to reply but told me. I was kinda irritated since she didnt ask me in person, so i texted her 'next time you want to ask me/know something about me, ask me in person not via other people'. (I regret that since it would be much much better to tell her in person). Next day (date) i brought it up and told her i m not mad at her but dont like things like that. So i told her she can ask me now. She did and i told her i have never had a serious relationship - im 25, and that i have never had feelings for any girl i have been sexual with. She was quiet after that and then i told her i have never had a gf because i was too busy (which is true plus i have never met any one special) because i was studying plus i was athlete. From then on, i felt everything was different - she didnt text me as often as before and i just felt something is not the way it was - she was distant. So 2 weeks later she texted me AFTER the date (she gave me just one kiss after and left quickly - normally we made out after a date), that she is not ready for somethings serious. I found out she tried to get back with her ex - happened to me again (they were together 4 years and she left him because he was neglecting/ignoring/cheating her and was a 'bad boy' 6 months ago). So im wondering was my inexperience a deal breaker for her in your opinion and that was the reason she missed her ex and try to get back with him. She was very very into me/eager to see me (texting good night everyday, telling me she cant wait to see me, asking me if im falling in love...) before that topic about my past experiences came up. Im often too honest but i would lie if i could about that, but since we have some mutual friends from before that was not an option.
You can't change your past, and if she has issues with your past, then you're better off without her. You'll meet a girl who'll be happy you haven't been serious with anyone else before.
Wait, so this is a different girl, is it? A new one, as in not the one who went abroad and took a pic where she looked like she was "holding hands" with some dude? Or do you still have problems with the same girl?
Oh, I see. Got it. Okay, so the way I see it, I don't necessarily think your lack of experience in relationships has been a "deal breaker". Mind you, I've never dated a girl who's made an issue of MY OWN lack of experience(if you remember, I'm a lot older than you are), so my first reaction, if ANYONE were to have a problem with that aspect of me, would be "well my goodness, I don't need you in my life", lol. xD However........ A possibility is that she might have begun regarding you as someone incapable of loving a girl after you said you'd never had feelings for any girl you've been sexual with. If she was asking you if you were starting to fall in love, then it may have been that she was falling in love with you and she wanted to know where you stood in the relationship. I don't know how you went about explaining to her your past experience with girls, but she might have jumped to a conclusion that you might not have feelings for her after all, and that you were just seeing her for sexual purposes. Which, in turn, may have led her into thinking, maybe she'd have a better chance with her ex than with you. I don't know, it's just a speculation. BUT, remember that being honest is a good thing. If you were honest about yourself with someone and they lose interest in you for doing that, let them go. You wouldn't want to associate with people as such. Lying, however, is really not worth it because a situation may get even worse if/when the truth comes out. Besides, there's nothing like being with someone who you can be totally honest with. It's such a special feeling to know that you can be yourself and that's the person they love, and that the experience is mutual where they trust you with their honesty as well. A couple can develop and nurture a strong bond this way.
I told her im falling in love when she texted me that... and she replied it was a long time since she had such a good time and felt so good. And 2 weeks later after a date she texted she is not ready yet for something serious. I really chose my words poorly... i dont know what i was thinking. goshhhh Tnx for opinion.
Whatever was said, I don't think she's the girl for you. I know it seems important now, but when you find the right one, I promise you you'll look back at her and say "what was I thinking." In my experience, good relationships are easy and natural. If you're having to worry about what you say all the time, you're probably in trouble.
Oh, you did? Well in that case, I don't know why she didn't bother to make further inquiries in regards to how you felt about HER. Now, before you start kicking yourself for your possible wording mishap... *points to quote below* I cannot tell you just how intensely I agree with this above poster here on this matter. Well, in my case I still regard my past girlfriends as special people in one way or another since they've all helped me get where I am today. I'm still friends with one of them even. BUT, Ippn, in a really good relationship, everything feels natural, in a way effortless, and also educational in the sense where you go through each life/relationship lesson and come out wiser, happier, more confident, and overall a better partner. And she is there to actually help you better yourself without coming across as condescending or overly critical. Also the coolest thing about this is that all this is a mutually experienced thing where she feels the same about you. Truth is that I've been in your shoes myself, albeit to a lesser degree. Last summer, I was interested in this girl. She seemed to be interested in me at first, too. But something must have happened at some point, and there was a subtle change in the vibe that she gave off. I let my feelings known to her anyway, and she in turn told me she and her ex might be getting back together. I wished them all the best, and that was when my summertime romance 2012 ended, lol. My friends thought she was interested in me too, so they were a little taken aback when I told them that she had politely, and in a respectful manner(which I definitely appreciated, obviously), turned me down. Now, the moral of the story is that neither party necessarily did anything wrong, and that the reason why I'm with my current girlfriend and not with this other girl from the summer of 2012 is because the latter girl and I simply weren't meant to be together. By contrast, my current girl and I just became "us" over a period of time. Just like that, really. There really was no "dating game" type mindset involved where each party ends up "calculating" the things they should say or shouldn't say in order to keep the relationship going. It's really more about being honest, emphasizing on the quality communication aspect, compatibility(personality, physical, sexual, blah blah), being able to openly and comfortably connect with each other, than anything else. So, I think it was GOOD that you told her what you felt you needed to tell her. She was the one who ended up lessening the quality of communication between you guys in the end. It probably will take a while to get over the whole thing, but I've been in love multiple times and also gotten my heart broken many times to know that time kinda DOES heal a lot of these wounds. They may scar, but that's okay because they can remind you of the past lessons that you learned. You'll meet someone who's right for you. You might have to wait till your around my age(I'm pushing 40 sort of, lol), or you might not have to. But I personally believe you'll meet that special someone at some point. You're welcome.
It could be she's craving sex and she's not perceiving you as a man who'd give her that in the time frame she wants it. Unfortunately, many women will wait for the guy to take the initiative when it comes to sex. Remember that when we, women, do take the initiative, we're branded sluts. I can tell you from own experience that being given the slut shaming treatment has made me hide my sexuality sometimes. In these cases, if the guy wouldn't take the initiative, I'd move to the next.
