Waking Up

OH MY GOD!!!! i somehow forgot about my DUI story!

yeah, my weirdest wake up was probably when i was woken up by the police pulling me out of my truck after napping through a train crossing..

 

Oh wow. That's pretty damn amazing.

Did you drive up to Canada to drink?

 

when we were under age...of course. plus montreal is an awesome place to party.

we went to canada 5 nights in a row (just over the border for this)

 

You win.

...and you need to elaborate.

 

That's pretty cool. Really awesome to just have the option to go up to Canada. You'd think that there'd be cops all over the boarder crossings at night in order to catch the drunk drivers.

 

Sounds more like an abduction case rather than intoxication




hotwater

 

we had DD's - most of the time. but border control really didn't give a shit about anything. except one time were we got held entering canada for about 30 minutes to check ID's and such

another time in canada, right over the border at a bar. i ended up drinking over a gallon of beer + 4-6 shots in around an hour. i pass out on a porch, about 10 feet away from teh river. on my back no less. an hour goes by and then i'm found by one of the bartenders. i drank that much so my buddy wouldn't drink that much

 

I once woke up to a girlfriend fucking me like crazy, and the only strange thing about it was, at the time, I didn't reember her even being there when I went to sleep. After she was done I fell back asleep.

 

really not much more to it than that.

i was very tired because i hadn't slept well in several nights. i got drunk with some friends, but they all passed out so i wanted to go home and do the same, but in a comfortable bed instead of my buddy's floor. i remember the drive pretty well because i wasn't that drunk (i blew .166, but i had pretty high tolerance at the time). everything went fine at first, but there's one point between my friend's house and my old apartment where there are 8 or 10 sets of railroad tracks all together; there's pretty much alway a train on one of them at least. so of course there was a train, so i put my truck in park (i hope, i honestly am not sure about that part), leaned back, and waited for the train to pass. the next thing i remember was being literally pulled out my door by a cop. he then had me try to walk a straight line, which i failed at miserably, being not only drunk but also half asleep. then (or maybe first, i don't remember) he searched my pockets and found my bag o' weed, slapped on the handcuffs, and put me in his backseat and carted my ass downtown.

interesting tidbit: i was arrested by the norfolk-southern police. yes, the railroad company has it's own police force. i still haven't met anyone who was aware of that fact before hearing my story.

the only thing that pisses me off about the situation was the fact that they charged me with some form of resisting (i don't remember exactly what they called it; it was a minor offense anyway) because i was asleep so i didn't respond immediately when the cop knocked on my window

 

Oh wow.

That's fascinating.

That one charge is bullshit, but oh well.

Never did know that the railroad company has its own police.

 

I didn’t know they had a police force either, looks like their earning their pay these days dealing with a gang of hoods known as The Conrail Boyz


Hotwater

 

I wanna be woken up by a cock

 

My dad once shook me violently while I was sleeping and accused me of smoking.

I *hate* being shaken to wake up.

 

Ummmm, by that do you mean a rooster?

 

I had a rooster as a pet when I was little. Then he started attacking people.
So we killed him and ate him.

 

yay or nay?

 

i hate chickens. filthy, obnoxious, vicious little bastards. i totally want one one day to ride around on the back of my incredibly stupid donkey that i'll name pedro (for a specific person i knew). what's a good name for a rooster i hate? phyllis?

i'm totally getting them to keep my feet on the ground and to amuse my neighbors with my ridiculous shouting at stupid animals.

 

I had to witness this hick randomly demonstrate to me how to cut a chickens head off once.

 

i used to help my grandma (middle class londoner) prepare chickens for dinner. apparently the posh sorts can pull it off, too.

 

About a year ago, I was at a bar in the city here, alone, stuffing money down the boots of the dancers on stage in a drunken rage. One of them came over and joined me at my table. I woke up spread-eagled on a bed with four rather large guys strapping my ankles and wrists to the bedposts, speaking in a language I didn't understand, terrified with an unbelievable pain in my shoulder/neck.