waiting until marriage

If premarital sex is the biblical clincher for marriage, then how is it a sin? Wouldn't the sin be adultry, or sleeping with someone else after "marriage"?

 

This is entirely your theory, nothing more.

Polygamy was something God tolerated but didn't endorse, like divorce. Gen. 2 (the passage consistently cited by Jesus when discussing marriage) clearly shows that lifelong monogamy was God's original intention.

Moreover, the only 2 options presented by Paul in the New Testament are celibacy and marriage. "Shacking up" is not even implied as a suitable alternative.

 

It's not "the clincher." Having sex doesn't make a de facto marriage. Rather, it is intended as an expression of lifelong union that only truly exists within marriage.

 

I agree 100% with AutumnAuburn.

And to the person who stated she was a born-again virgin...guess what? There's no such thing...it can't happen. It's not like being a "born-again christian" or whatever...where you lose your way and then find it again or however it goes. If you're not a virgin, you're not a virgin...period. If you had sex and then decided you wanted to wait until marriage to have it again...then fine, your choice. But you can't just say "I'm a virgin" and automatically be one again.

As for the question at hand...I waited until I was completely in love before I had sex. And since I don't plan on marriage and don't really give a fuck about marriage, having sex for me is just a beautiful and pleasurable act of love and passion between me and my boyfriend. There's nothing sinful or wrong about it.

 

Then why wasn't it a horrible thing for a MAN to lose his virginity? Where is the all the talk of the MEN being chastised and killed and devalued for having premarital sex??? Where??? It doesn't exist! Men have no virginal value. Because it was the women who were being sold. The women were the commodity. So, virginity is only valuable in societies where the women are sold. Yes, they still exist. But thankfully not here!

His original intention, sure. I'll buy that. BUT... He condones premarital sex. Therefore, it is not a sin. Yes, he is not telling everyone to go out there and roll in the flower patch (and neither am I, for that matter), but at the same time, he is not condemning you to hell for doing it. Therefore it isn't a SIN.

Well of course not. Back then women were a valuable money-making opportunity for the family. A man had to pay if he wanted to have sex with another man's daughter. Of course a father is not going to agree to a man having his daughter without giving the marriage present... LOL That would just be stupid! Well, thank goodness times have changed! I would hate to think of my father selling me to the highest bidder! How awful!

And again I would like to say... If remaining a virgin until you are married makes you feel like a better person, then please do it. We all have to live in our own skin. What is right, good, and just for me, might not be for you-and visa-versa.

I'm obviously Lilith's daughter and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

Thank you.

 

Auburn brings up an excellent point. That "Virginity" was of cash value to the father of the girl. Rape is NOT considered a horrible sin in the Good Book. If you raped an unmarried womyn, You had the choice of

• Marrying her (can you imagine how awful, if your dad married you off to a rapist?)
• PAYING her dad a fee
• OR being punished if you did neither

In other words, there was NO CARE that a womyn had been HARMED, just that her dad had lost the good business deal of being able to marry off a "virgin bride."

One of my big problems with the OT, is the lack of stern warnings and punishments to rapists and child molesters.

 

Right, and this works well for some people. I have no problem with it. I also cannot judge people who have different sex life styles, choices ect than I do, as long as it is consensual.

 

MaggieSugar...what you said about someone's father marrying a girl off to a rapist...that's actually what happened to my grandparents on my father's side. My grandfather raped my grandmother. So, my grandmother's father tracked down my grandfather and made them get married. Pretty messed up...and their marriage is terrible to this day...

 

i was avid about waiting untill i was married but realized it was unrealistic for me as i was thinking about getting married just to experience sex. i waited for love and im not with that person anymore but im with someone else who i love. i say wait for love.

 

Think about this. An unmarried man could only lose his virginity by (1) defiling an unmarried woman or (2) committing adultery. Both of these are cleary condemned in Scripture.

No he doesn't! Tell me where the Bible explicitly condones premarital sex.

Wrong. The term "porneia" in the New Testament very obviously includes premarital sex.

There is no hint of this in the New Testament.

A "love" that lasts momentarily?

 

But interestingly enough, the MEN don't suffer consequences of losing their virginity... Only the WOMEN do... Why is that? Men were not condemned for losing their virginity...

Concubines. Concubines are not wives... Concubines exist in a household for one purpose, to have sex with and they are unmarried... King David had them and God loved him.

Porneia most prominently means adultery. Adultery is NOT committed by two people, who are not married, having sex. Adultery means sex with a married person that is not your spouse. It can also mean impurity. But, as you have already stated, it is possible for two people to have premarital sex and to be considered as entering into the marriage sacrament. The union of two becoming as one is blessed by God. So, no, it does not *obviously* include premarital sex. We are to refrain from having sex with married people, family members, and animals...

Come on Huck, you're more intelligent than that! Okay, I'm going to pretend that you are not being so ignorant as to say in public, in written form, that you believe that fathers did not sell their daughters. You don't have to read the bible to know that. It was common practice, in our own country, until very recently. So, we'll just let that weak grasp at a straw that doesn't exist, go...

 

Artist, that is so awful for your grandmother. Her father probably thought he was "following" what he was taught, which, of course, does not assume the womyn is a human and has feelings. She is property, and a baby machine, not much more.

I had a freind from the South whose mother had been married off to a man in his 40s or 50s for a tract of land........when she was THIRTEEN years old! By the time I met this poor womyn, she was in her 30s and on her 4th husband. Sad stuff.

 

God loved him but did not approve of everything he did.

Isaac and Rebekah did not have premarital sex! She became his wife when she entered his tent.

Again, there is not even a hint in Paul's letters that this is the basis of his teachings on sexual purity and marriage. You're the one grasping at straws.

 

Back to the original topic--Do what feels right to YOU.

 

Wow! How awful for your grandmother .

I have a ... similar sort of story...but it had a happy ending. My great great great grandfather helped a widow woman in town (who was pregnant) finish building the barn her husband had started, and when it came time for payment, she had no money for him, so he asked that if her baby was a girl, to betroth her to him and then they would get married when she was a proper age. I don't know how old she was when they got married, but I do know that she was 20 years his junior. And I also know that somehow or another, they had a lovely marriage and were, by all accounts, actually happy together. What started out as a "sale" before this girl was even born, ended up a happy, healthy marriage. Which I'm sure happens SOMETIMES in other situations like this...but lordy I'd hate to have been in that kind of situation.

 

A none religious view to wait...would be the logical fear of disease. Of course, just because you wait until marriage doesnt mean the man will and what if he was a horny dog before you two became engaged(but didnt tell you)and he gave you AIDS from a past fling?

Marriage isn't the same today as it was 3000 years ago, so the Bible is sorely outdated no matter how much the good ole boy's club tries to claim otherwise. Marriage in current western society is no longer a father passing his daughter to highest bidder, it's two independent adults entering a legal committment. So a woman's virginity is pretty irrelevent outside of her own personal feelings.

Basically, all these Bible references are illogical since the original poster will not be marrying based on her worth in sheep. Her father wont recieve less if she loses her virginity premaritally.I'm betting her father would rather not know her sex life before OR after her marriage.

I'd say...if you want to wait..wait. BUT, you may regret it if you end up with Prince Charming who is awful in bed and his..erm...equipment is ill-suited to you. Sex is a fundemental to marriage.If you aren't compatible in bed...then it leaves a big hole in the relationship. You can become depressed, feel inadequate, not like sex at all...which leads to fights and tension...ultimately killing the marriage.

 

That's an incredibly lame excuse to screw around before marriage. Spouses have the rest of their lives together to learn how to better please each other sexually.