Virgin...........

Hahahaha yes quite!!! I think actually I have pretty much committed to a life of celibacy, 41 years isn't a bad start. I can't really say that its something I would CHOOSE but we don't always get what we want out of life!

 

it just seems liek you went through something that stuck with you for a long time
possibly the girlfriend thing when you were thirteen
sound slike fear of regection, when you shouldnt be scared. you sound like a very nice guy thatd make any girl happy
you just need to work on your confidence and remember that some poeple just arent meant for eachother.
good luck man

 

yeah everything hcm said and others is true...

also if you said you havent even kissed a girl since that age...

maybe what you should worry about is finding a girlfriend to take things slow with... you dont even have to tell her why right away or at all, just get comfortable with her and making a friendship/relationship where you get comfortable with holding hands, cuddling, kissing.....
because i think that if you are anxious about sex and you focus only on the sex part, you are making it harder for yourself.

start with basics and when the time is right you shouldnt feel anxious anymore.

 

Well perhaps I'd better make that point - I haven't actually had a g/f or kissed a girl since the fiasco in my early teens. I have basically avoided girls totally because I feel that I won't be able to take the next step. A couple of people have private messaged me to say that it sounds like I have a phobia and I'd have to agree with that, to put it into context - I'm scared of heights but I will climb a ladder to a point as long as I feel safe doing it BUT when it comes to girls/women and sex then I lose the plot totally. I get that nervous thinking about it that I feel physically sick.