Venting loneliness?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Earthy Mama, May 16, 2004.

  1. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    Well, for the first time in my life I'm completely alone. At 15 I had my first boyfriend and that lasted a year. Right away after we broke up(probably a month or two after) I met the guy I was with for 3 years. I really thought I'd be with him for the rest of my life. He ended up treated me and our kids bad so I had no choice but to leave him. I've been single for 8 months now and I'm trying so hard to not be so lonely. I freak myself out because I'm so sad. I've never been so depressed in my life. Its not like guys my age want to date a girl with two kids. And, if they do they only think I'm easy, which I'm NOT. I am trying so hard to find happiness within being by myself but the truth is, being a single mom really sucks ass. Has anyone ever been in the situation where your so lonely it feels like you can hardly breath??? How did you deal with it, get over it? Sorry, I just think my late lonely nights are getting to me and I'm venting. BTW, if your a guy... what is so bad about dating women with kids anyway?
     
  2. WayfaringStranger

    WayfaringStranger Corporate Slave #34

    theres nothing bad about dating women with kids, but you have to leave alot of things unsaid. if you pressure them right away about takin care of the kids that would be bad, but if yo utreat a guy right, then kids or no kids dont make a difference. ive been lonely for a long time, mostly cus i want someonewho's gonna treat me good. its easy to get into a relationship, but hard to find a good one. with all that seriousness aside, come back over and live with me and funky and happy haha, we'll treat you right.
     
  3. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

    Well I've always been alone, purposely, but I've never been lonely to the point of not having anyone to avoid if I wanted to, until now. So in that way I know how you feel. But like I said I've always been alone, and you have kids, I'd say get a hobby and get happy! It's really not bad at all, as long as you have some sort of outlet(which I don't at the moment), just takes some getting used to.

    In trying to relate in the way of guys I'd say don't look for a guy you could be in a relationship with, look for a few(emphasis on a few) guys to be friends with, eventually someone will come along, and you will know that they won't at all have a problem dating you b/c of your kids, b/c they will already know you and it will be much harder to resist than if you just met some guy and told him 'oh by the way I have kids' and you never hear from him again.

    Anyway, it will all work out, just try not to focus on what you don't have, focus on what you do, and go out and get you something that you can escape with from time to time.

    Good luck!
     
  4. FunkyPhreshMama

    FunkyPhreshMama Visitor

    i feel ya earth i have two kids and i am 21, me and hubby having ard hard times so depression and all the b/s that goes with arguing and shit is setting in. and its funny guys see the kids and automatically think "shes a slut, i can get in her pants" damn idiot guys.............................................
     
  5. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    thats pretty much how its been, any guy I've talked to that doesn't drop off after I say something about my kids drops off when I pass up sexual advances. lol
     
  6. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    oh i forgot I was going to comment on what u said honeyhannah...

    I wish I could get a hobby, I don't even know what I like anymore. I get up at 6 am and my free time is the couple hours late at night I have be4 I wake up again dead tired.... maybe I should learn how to sew, that wouldn't be something I'd need to spend hours on... lol

    What do you other mamas' do for fun that you can do with kids???
     
  7. FunkyPhreshMama

    FunkyPhreshMama Visitor

    thats a damn guy for ya, and i am not speaking of all guys cuz there are a few good ones out there. i dated a guy named mike but lilly called him mikey, he was so sweet to her, were still friends :) and he didnt think i was a hoochie mama

    i sew, me and my girly make soap together, i let her paint on everything, we make play dough ash trays HAhA

    i get up at 6am too it sucks ass
     
  8. makno

    makno Senior Member

    guys avoid girls with kids like the plague...why ?i guess there is more than one reason,i dont know ,cause if some guy is looking for a long term relationship{yuc},he doesnt want to admit it to himself . and if he is willing to admit that to himself , then he is so crazed n desperate that you wont be wantin him! i like girls with kids as long as they still have husbands and will sweep me out the back door . i dont have any myself because of a lifetime of carfull effort and a little luck . the only advantage you can gain in this crazy game of only valuable if not wanting it , is to put out vibes that you are never gonna let this or any man weasel his way into your already integral family structure >if they think you would never concider them they will put their head in the noose . thats assuming you want a{yuc }life partner.if you just want to get laid i dont see why you cant !
     
  9. I don't know; I guess its the baggage. The possibility of dealing with the real father, getting your kids to like you, and if they don't you cant scold them because you're not their father, it's just a lot of baggage.

    Dating a girl with kids is intimidating is all. It's a lot to do. Not only do we have to charm you but we have to charm your kids.
     
  10. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    ive never wanted to just get laid... It would be too weird for me to try to be with someone I didn't love, I'm too sentimental, lol. I want a life partner but like u said someone who isnt going to mess up my family system. I'm actully not sure if I'm even looking for anyone, I think maybe I just need friends... I've got my boys though, nothing like not having to be self conscience about acting like an idiot!
     
  11. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

    How old are your kids?

    You should also probably find some cool place to hang out and meet people, a coffeehouse or something, and go there once a week.
    If you can do that, just once a week, maybe on the weekends.
     
  12. That's true, your kids will always be there for you when you're lonely, they're the best companions to have.

    But if you need friend, hey, I'll be your friend. :D
     
  13. WayfaringStranger

    WayfaringStranger Corporate Slave #34

    i dont see why people have a problem with kids. real fathers or potential step fathers. i mean what do you really think they're gonna keep you from doing? im a firm believer that if you cant deal with having kids, then you should be trying to make them. now im young at heart and like to have fun, but grow up allready, kids are great, and theres nothing like being around a kid who's discovering something for the first time, or the things they say when they start thinking for themselves. teaching kids is alot more fulfilling and fun, then any party or bar ar adventure you could ever find.
     
  14. metro

    metro self-banned

    I think it is becoming more common for people to be single w/children and it's more accepted so not as many people are scared off by it. I was considering seeing a guy who had a kid from a previous marriage, I didn't have a prob. w/it.
    I don't mind when I'm alone, sometimes I prefer it. I don't need human companionship to enjoy myself.
    Good luck to you[​IMG]
     
  15. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

    That's probably what it is, but even if you do decide that you're looking for someone it is probably best to find some friends first or as well, and to take it slowly and to not put so much emphasis on wanting a relationship when first meeting a guy. If I'm not mistaken it's usually easier if you're friends first.
     
  16. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    my kids r really young still 7 months and 20 months as of today... lil babes
     
  17. makno

    makno Senior Member

    i didnt mean to sound disrespectfull just trying to translate fucked up male phycology. i think the vibe that you are strong and am taking life by the horns , and not to be looking for anything you cant find ,not even yer socks , is the path ! im sory ive lived with women for 15 years of my life , one the greatest , one the worst , both beautifull . and i would rather be dead than ever do that again!
     
  18. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

    Earthy Mama, check your user cp messages, kay?
     
  19. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    thank u very much honey, check urs! lol
     
  20. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    lol I understand what you mean... its weird but since I've been old enough to date I've only been looking for one thing... a real guy who is going to stay with me and I'm very opinionated about that.
     

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