ok, i posted on the old forums about my marriage, and how it's going steadily down the toliet. in a nutshell, my husband and i have drastically different values, to the point where the marriage is crumbling. i'm not going to go into details again, but the situation is hurting me, and emotionally scarring my son, shedding his self-esteem. i'm in counselling myself, he won't get any. i've been asking him to go to counselling for years, i've given him ultimatums. still no counselling. recently we agreed to start seeing other people. i started casually seeing a male friend who may or may not be several years younger than me. now i'm really wanting more than friendship. we both hold some values that "mainstream" people find a little eccentric or over-the-top, and i'm amazed at our campatability. my kids adore him. recently he asked me if i thought my marriage was salvageable. i said no. my husband doesn't seem to be getting it, though. tired of begging him for counselling, and sick of watching him emotionally abuse my son, i started telling him i want out. frequently. he just keeps pretending nothing's wrong. he doesn't think i'll really leave, because for years i've been a full-time mother, and have no marketable skills. he doesn't see what's so important about shared values, in spite of the fact that the kids are getting mixed messages and we fight constantly. i really want to let this other person know how i feel about him, leave my marriage, and pursue a more serious relationship with him. i think that a relationship based on shared values has a better chance of making it. advice?