Useful Things To Do With A Dead Person

put on railroad tracks and watch trains run over.

 

send one to work in my place and see if anybody notices the difference

 

tie strings to their arms and legs and have a puppet show.

 

Have a bunch of em in the living room and pretend you are having a big party....

after you get drunked up, then have sex with all of them.....;-0

 

Stab them when you are angry, so you aren't hurting anyone.

 

find one that is your exact body type/size and take him/her shopping with you so you don't have to try on all the clothes and get all hot and sweaty and bovvered...

 

Put them in a catapult and launch them into the neighbors field....;-)

 

rip off arm and use as back scratcher

 

create a small fort of bodies in the tree in the backyard. surprise your children with the treehouse they always wanted.

 

lay a couple in the road and watch how drivers react.

 

garage security...when they break in they think theres a person standing at the toolbox

 

Hang one in the tree and use it for target practice...

 

use as a rod to unblock large pipes

 

fold two in half, set them a couple feet apart and set two more straight ones horizontally on top for a coffee table.

 

Throw a bunch into the back of your truck for extra weight when traveling on slick roads...

 

Steal your neighbors firewood, then replace the stack with all the dead bodies......;-)

 

... A dance partner that will make you seem like a professional <

 

stuff them in your neighbor's closets while they're away.

 

Tie them with strings and present a lovely puppet show for the children of the neighborhood... :hurray:

 

use one to cover up those drafty windows